Question:
Why do "Nice Guys" always finish last?
2009-08-16 01:10:28 UTC
People say that all the time...but I love nice boys. caring, sweet, honest, faithful ones are best!

I date one of those, then a cocky, arrogant jerk.

And because of this, I know some guys who don't act nice anymore, and allllwaaysss try to be all macho. honestly...it's the biggest turn off...unless deep down inside you have a big heart :) what do you guys (and girls) think?
24 answers:
the emperor
2009-08-16 02:00:16 UTC
Hello Cute Girl...so you want to know why nice guys finish last, do you? Okay, grab a snack and a cold drink and I'll explain it all to you. I speak with authority on this subject because I used to be nice...I used to be lonely...today I am NEITHER!



Let's start with this. You say that YOU want a nice guy but then you go on to say that you'll date a nice guy but then you'll go out with a cocky arrogant jerk. I am assuming that you are dumping the nice guy by the time you are accepting the dates with the cocky arrogant jerks, am I right? I'll bet when you do this the nice guy accepts the loser's fate of being your "friend" right? That's because nice guys don't know how to handle this situation because they keep hearing from cute girls like yourself who tell them they want a nice guy but then these nice guys keep getting dumped for the cocky arrogant jerks. And then the nice guy tries to act macho because he knows that being nice doesn't win him the cute girl but his attempts at being macho are pathetic because that only works if you truly are macho and not some wannabe just doing what he thinks he needs to do to win the girl. Most nice guys also don't realize that the female radar is FAR MORE SUPERIOR to ours and hence females can sense that pathetic attempt at winning them over for what it truly is: an act of desperation by somebody who really has no clue as to how to get what he really wants.



Back to the original question. Why do nice guys finish last? Because as another poster said (I believe that it was Al Bundy) WOMEN DON'T DESIRE NICE GUYS TO BEGIN WITH! So the nice guy is handicapped from the start. Add pop culture nonsense like movies, songs, some series of books, in which the hero is a nice guy who finally does get the hot girl from the bully simply by being himself and winning her over with his charm and wit, and you've got a perfect recipe for a BALONEY sandwich! COMPLETE BALONEY!



SO...why aren't the ladies attracted to nice guys? This is actually what you should be asking. And for all the nice guys on here who have already posted or are reading this question, I'm going to answer it definitively and THEN I'm going to tell you how to remedy this problem so you can all start dating the hotties like Cute Girl here and all of her friends.



Hey Cute Girl--can you feel all the nice guys out there just waiting for me to answer this? YEAH...I do too. (Caught you grinning). Okay gentlemen, here goes. The reason Cute Girl and her cohorts (and even the Plain Girls and the Plump Girls and the Okay Girls) don't want to date any of you more than once is because you still have NOT learned how to be a CHALLENGE. Stop settling for being friends with the girls (YOU know you don't want to be their friend anyway, this is just something you agree to in the futile effort to secure an eventual relationship that is NOT going to happen anyway). You need to learn to be DECENT AND RIGHTEOUS. There is strength in those words: DECENCY! RIGHTEOUSNESS! niceness. (blah)



Guys: do not tolerate that "F word" that girls call being your friend. You know you don't want that. Next time so girl says that she likes you as a friend, tell her that the friend label is beneath you and that you don't settle for being relegated to to the second-tier candy shelf. When talking to a girl for a couple minutes and you think you detect some buying signals, ask for her phone number and then shut the hell up! If she stalls and hemhaws in even the slightest way, tell her that you've got better things to do with your time than waste it with somebody that's not interested in you and then bid her a good day.



If she gives you the number, call back in 7-10 days, make plans for a one hour pre-date interrogation in which your unspoken attitude SHOULD BE:: "okay sweetie, you've got one hour to convince me why I should take you out on a date...GO." Then let her do all of the talking and make her wonder where she stands with you. Too many nice guys try to spend that time letting the potential cute girl know how desirable he is. (This is doomed to failure as well). NEVER ask them out for a weekend right away either...they must earn that. Girls know that those are your free nights and they know who is desperate, and YOU dear nice guy, fall into that category. Nice guys need to learn to be a challenge, I cannot emphasize that enough! Check out the websites below that helped me turn my life around.



FYI--I would ask this same question in my younger days of nice guy foolishness. Since then I am now happily married to an absolutely beautiful woman several years younger than I and she has a Master's Degree and is a real prize for any man to want. How did I win her over? By following the advice from the website below. I suggest that you all do the same and then approach Cute Girl here and her cohorts and start asking them out on real dates.



Take care Cute Girl...just think, you can actually meet that "dec
?
2009-08-16 01:28:50 UTC
I'm pretty sure that nice guys are often also shy. That was the case with me, at least (now I'm not that shy anymore, but still nice).



It's also because we may think too much about others. For an example, before asking a girl out recently, I was really worried that I wasn't giving her enough room to say no. I was afraid that she'd feel pressured into going out with me, because she's sweet, and wouldn't want to hurt me.



"Jerks" are also more aggressive in their pursuit of women. They ask more girls out, and are therefore more likely to find a partner. Whenever I'm interested in a girl, I go through a lengthy process of getting to know her, and making sure she actually likes me, before I try taking things further (asking her out). This has sometimes put me in the "friend zone".
?
2016-04-05 08:49:42 UTC
The Answer is NO. Nice Guys Do Not Always Finish Last and Neither Do The Nice Girls !!
Connoisseur
2009-08-16 01:16:48 UTC
Hey! I'm a nice guy as most of my friends, who are girls tell me. I'm very funny, kind, good at art, smart (4.0). But I can tell you first hand that nice guys really do finish last! I watch a ton of my friends who are girls go off telling me they want a nice guy and then they go get some douche that treats them badly then they cry to me about it...it gets frustrating! But hay, what are you gonna do. Just because nice guys don't get all the girls I'm not gonna change, they'll come around eventually. Tons of girls claim they want a good guy, but end up dating the opposite or chasing the opposite..its sad
?
2009-08-16 01:21:03 UTC
why do nice guys always finish last? .. well truth is that most of those "nice guys" either go after the wrong woman or are really innocent i guess you can term it. dey dont know what to do in certain situations. some do actually. i no as a guy alotta dudes for some reason ask me for help and ask for my advice and well i just tell them



just be yourself and eventually you'll find the 1



and yes im a guy but im not gay
Matte~Vanilla
2009-08-16 01:23:20 UTC
Partly, I'd say it's due to upbringing, and partly from peer pressure. See, most guys get the impression that being nice is being weak, or they just get picked on for being nice (aka, beat-up), so they learn to stop being that way. Also, they may become cynical and mean if life kicks them around a lot, or they are mistreated by people they care about. It's not easy to be a nice guy, and it is definitely tempting to jump to the other side when Hollywood and the mainstream media glamorize it as well. (Most heroes in movies are tough guys, unless you count romantic comedies.) Still, we ARE out there...trying not to get beat-up. ;)
D
2009-08-16 01:24:09 UTC
Well I have dated a nice guy before I used to call him my teddybear. Then the next thing I know he's raising his hand. I left and never went back. People are so fake now-a-days how can u really tell who is nice, sweet, caring anymore. If people would just be real. But thats life.
Union James
2009-08-16 01:20:39 UTC
Girls often like the idea of nice guys but not the reality. The reality is that being a nice guy comes with being boring and unassertive. Girls like guy who are confident, in control, who know what they want and can take them places. Compare this to someone who, admittedly only wants you to be happy buy doing things you want to do, but in the process always has an 'i can't make up my mind I need you to decide' attitude. This is why women are often attracted to jerks. Not because they're jerks but at least they are independent. If there is the feeling that the guy doesn't 'need' the girl he is that much more desirable.
2009-08-16 01:27:43 UTC
There's a difference between a nice guy and a doormat. Door mat guys are those who are SO nice that they put other people's needs above their own. They want the girl but fail to create any sexual tension like flirting or teasing. All girls (the good ones without issues of their own) want the nice guy but he has to be assertive, confident, and he has to create sexual tension so the girls won't put him in the friendzone.
Rumble.bear
2009-08-16 01:20:59 UTC
I happen to like the nice boys also.

Dated a few jerks, they didnt last too long :-P

I have been with a very sweet one for some time now and i love him!



if you are asking why boys SEEM nice and then turn bad... i guess sometimes you dont see the asshole in them until you get closer.



muchlove

xoxo
Dane
2009-08-16 01:19:54 UTC
Women are the root of all evil. Plain and simple, you all make the good turn. And then the good just say **** it, and then we become successful due to the fact we have no distractions, and an internet source with an abundance of porn. I am a nice guy, but you girls... the ones I have tried to be with just do not get it. So I am just gonna focus on work haha.
2009-08-16 01:14:42 UTC
Because nice guys arent assertive enough to get what they want.



Dont get me wrong im a nice guy but im between the lines of being nice and a jerk (in a teasing way thats not too hurtful). Being to nice will delay in getting what you want.
M. H.
2009-08-16 01:21:11 UTC
then those nice guys were sweet on purpose.

OR they must be really idiots and in love with you to leave their principles for you and no human being should do that, it's just plane wrong...don't go for'em, they are just missed up.
2009-08-16 01:17:12 UTC
Because they're not insecure and know they'll win win win win dixie land of dixie land the place that i was born, white power? I think not. why say such thing. I am more human and more evolved, understand? I love this girl sex with who? ewwww gross never in this life time... moon and mars will appear in the sky together this month look for me in 3 yrs time I will take over the world and call ur mother ok?
ℓɛт ιт ɢσ
2009-08-16 01:18:11 UTC
yeah, me too.

i love good guys you know.

you might call them nerds or geeks.

i don't get it when my friends fall for those popular cocky arrogant guys

jut because they are good looking.

i think what matters the most is what's inside.

right?



and, d guy i'm falling for right now,

my crush of 4 years (do call me pathetic, idc)

is very nice, nerd even.

so don't take yourself for granted nerds,

you'll find a girl,

who loves you for who you truly are.

:)
Ali Johns
2009-08-16 01:22:13 UTC
because the bad guys are so good at being bad that we really think that they're really good and that make us believe that the good guys just seem good to charm girls then they all end the same way and hey at least the bad guys are truthful. sike! the bad guys are also something worth a challenge but, the nice guys will always be there and us girl want something to work for.
Ali
2009-08-16 01:15:37 UTC
I've always been one for the nice guys. I love me sum nerd haha
?
2009-08-16 01:55:59 UTC
Nice guys do not always finish last. It just appears that way at times.

Women that I have liked or have gone out liked me at the time because I am funny and sweet yet most of them turned out to be the opposite-full of drama, deceitful and shallow.

Looking back, not all of them were very pretty nor were they all in shape.

There are stereotypes that nice guys are "boring," they are not assertive enough, they lack confidence, they are "ugly" or have a lot of other problems like being overweight.

All these stereotypes differ from one girl to the next that likes or goes on a date with a nice guy.

I have been told by girls that I am ugly while other girls have called me "cute."

To me, everybody has issues not just nice guys as the women I have liked or gone on dates with have had issues.

To me, it is unfair to expect a guy to always lead things.

When it comes to having interesting conversations on a date for example, it takes two people to have interesting things to say so both people on a date do not feel awkward around each other.

When things go wrong on a date, then blame should not fall entirely on the other person especially if that person is a nice guy.

Nice guys like me are more thoughtful.

On Valentine’s Day nine years ago, I gave this girl, Rachel who was my debate partner in high school, a heart-shaped lollipop with a cupid striking an arrow on it.

I also made her a heart out of wires and beads.

This past Valentine's, I gave one of my female coworkers a box of $60 worth of raspberry truffles.

Although she does let me hold her hands, run my fingers through her back and play with her hair, we do not have a crush on each other.

I was just being sweet when I gave her a box of raspberry truffles as I did not hint that I was going to give her a Valentine.

Not all women want nice guys to fall for them.

When some women do find a nice guy, they either have not been with one yet or they rejected or dumped that nice guy.

There are nice guys that approach women yet they are rejected even if they are not saying something corny or rude.

I remember something that one of my college debate teammates told me.

Not many women are flattered when men that do not come off like a jerks asks them politely for their phone numbers.

I was with my last girlfriend for close to a year until she dumped me through text messages on my old cell phone last year.

She told me about guys in her past and pretty much all of them were horrible towards her.

Out of all her ex boyfriends, she would talk at times about her ex boyfriend before me who she claimed hurt her so badly that she turned to drinking alcohol and eating a lot (she told me that gained a lot of weight before I had met her).

The whole time that I was her boyfriend, she never said, "I love you."

She was verbally abusive towards me as she made cruel jokes to me, criticized me often and usually got mad at me over small things.

She also did messed up things to me and lied about things like being happy that she met me because I was that sweet boyfriend she wished for weeks before we met.

Women that are treated well by nice guys no not know how to handle being treated by them.

In my cases, I have liked and have gone out with the wrong women.

Whether a guy is a "bad" boy or a "good" guy, if that guy is not trustworthy and respectful to a girl then that guy is a loser.

If you meet a guy that happens to be nice then hold onto him.

Be appreciative that he honestly does not want to say or do to make you cry and angry.

People that want a long lasting romantic relationship ought to find others that they can identify with that have gone through similar experiences like them whom they can also share their failures and successes.

I hope that this helps and take care of yourself. I mean that.

Hopefully, your summer has been good so far and happens to end on good note.

~ Alan
Benz5567
2009-08-16 01:20:39 UTC
well i am one of the nice guys and i am assertive but all the girls i like end up being with an idiot that treats her bad. and i honestly dont know why i always end up not getting the girl =(
can you turn my black roses red
2009-08-16 01:19:24 UTC
the important part is that they finish. they finish by finally finding that nice girl who actually deserves them. it's the jerks who don't finish at all, because they are too busy being jerks.



and if you or anyone else reading this has time, answer mine please? thanks!



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20090816010714AABOcF0
2009-08-16 01:15:27 UTC
it is because of females that it is like this its not the males fault



most girls go for the drop kicks first then complain about it.
2009-08-16 01:15:06 UTC
we finish last because we think about others before ourselves
2009-08-16 01:15:41 UTC
us goody two shoes dont get the ladies :'(
M<3
2009-08-16 01:20:31 UTC
theyre careful i guess

answer mine please https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20090815173821AA21f6Y


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