Is it pointless to date someone for a long time without getting married?

Question

I'm a 29 year old woman and my boyfriend is 46.I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years with no plans of marriage.We don't have children either but is it pointless to date someone for a very long time without any intentions of getting married?

Answer 1

wow 9years and not married..

when i saw ur question i thought 2years.. or something..

9years is too long.. if u do want to get married ans wish to be a moth, u should talk to ur partner about this, tell him how u really feel.

if he doesn't seem to think of eve getting married..

i think it's better u move on.. 29 isn't so young u know..

u should find ur self a better person that would want to get married to u.

really u should bring this topic up with him..and see how it goes..

Answer 2

Honestly it is not all that uncommon for two people to be together for years without getting married. Prime example of this is the GLBT community. Now I know what you are going to say, they aren't married because they are not allowed to get married. While this is true it still does not excuse the fact that there are people who have been together 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60+ years together and they are not married. I have to ask the question though, why do you need a piece of paper that says you and your boyfriend are together. As long as you two know that you love each other then there is no problem as far as I can see. A marriage is nothing but signing your name on the line of a piece of paper. The ceremony and all that jazz doesn't mean your married, a signature on a marriage license does.



Also in most states if two people in a relationship have lived together for a certain time (I believe most states it is 3 years) then you have what is called a common-law marriage

Answer 3

do you want to have kids? do you want to get married? if you've been together for 9 years, and want this... if he doesn't commit it's probably time to move on. but if you love him, and you don't really care, then it doesn't matter...



i guess if i were you i would just talk to him about it. i know that i personally would not date someone this long with no intentions of getting married... but that all depends on the people. my mom and stepdad have been together 16 years and are not married. well he wouldn't really be my stepdad.. but he basically is, they've been together so long... and he's been a father figure! they both were married before, and i don't think it really matters to them if they're married or not. they have no intention of having kids, they both already have had kids...



so it just depends on where you are in your life and what you want. you're still young enough to have kids. so if he's willing to do that, and that's what you want, they stay with him! if things arent exciting anymore and he doesn't want the things you want... then you should move on and find someone new.

Answer 4

Are you happy in this relationship?

Are you both on the same page,,,do u both want children/do u both want to get married?



If both of you agree with these sort of things i have outlined above then there is not problem. There is nothng wrong if both of you dont want to get married and there is nothng wrong if both of you dont want kinds or somethng. But if you dont agree with some of these things then you need to make some hard decisions about ending the relationship or making sacrifices.

Answer 5

He seems to be taking you for a long long ride..he should have asked you by now.If your life goal is to be married and have kids..you should have spoken up..like 9 years ago.Unless of course you don't mind the way it is.

Answer 6

If you eventually want marriage and children and nothing is moving in that direction and he has no intentions of marriage, then, yes, it's pointless for you.

Answer 7

If neither one of you have plans to marry anyone, then I don't see why not. It's not like you are waiting on him to propose or something so just enjoy what you have going.

Answer 8

As long as you love each other, who cares if you've got a little piece of paper or not?





Try bringing it up, perhaps he'd like to get married?

Answer 9

It really depends on what you want. If you want to get married and this relaitonship looks pointless- then move on.

Answer 10

Oh yes my dear it's a sher waste ot time. By the way his not your boyfriend but your man friend!

Answer 11

No, I would think if you really cared about that person and were happy with them marriage wouldn't really matter.

Answer 12

I don't remember going out with you...



but it could just be for the fun of it.

Answer 13

You're kind of wasting time in that relationship. Move on with your life. It seems like you keep dragging it out.

Answer 14

get marry

Answer 15

do you want to get married or have kids??

Answer 16

yes if it's really keeps you bother

Answer 17

ummm.. don't look now but I think you answered your question !!!



Get married, and make it right... might as well !

Answer 18

Not at all.

Answer 19

you haven't seen "He's just not that into you" huh...