My boyfriend masterbated over a girl mate and admitted it's because of the lack of sex and she is hotter?

Question

Recently, me and my boyfriend became distant from each other and he has been a little "off"... I have posted quite a few questions on here recently and all the answers resulted to him apparently cheating. I sat down and spoke to him about it and he said to me "the most I do is look at porn, I only have eyes for you." Of course, I understand that visually he will want to look at other girls and I am ok with that although I admit I am a very jealous person.

He was my best friend of two years before we got together and we always had a lot of sexual tension between us. When we first got together he was always bragging and saying how out of his league I am, and without being big-headed I can see that I am an attractive girl! (But obviously I still want bigger boobs, longer hair, slimmer tummy... same as every other girl lol)

Recently though he has been avoiding me in the bedroom (i am a rape victim and sometimes it causes flashbacks, which causes stress for the both of us, we have not properly slept together without me having to stop him and we have been together for a while, nearly 2 years) and I asked him why and he did honestly say that he is becoming very frustrated. We ended up arguing and he then admitted he wasn't sure if he was happy with me anymore and thinks that it may be easier to just split up. He has been patient with me (I was diagnosed last week with Osteoarthritis) and I thought giving him some space would cool things down. But tonight when I got home I had seen that he has been been looking at hundreds of pictures of a girl he knows, he has saved a few of them (she isn't wearing much as she is a wrestling ring girl) and downloading pictures of models. I was shocked because he has always said that HE would be upset if I ever did that so I've always made sure not to use "naked" men as wallpapers, we both agreed this from day one as we are jealous people, to just not say anything to avoid the other persons feelings.
Then I had seen he had been watching more porn, and also that he had downloaded "bikini babes"

I was going to ignore it but that is when I found all of my pictures, "i love you" wallpapers and numerous things in his recycle bin.

I now know he is serious about us breaking up as this is seriously out of his nature, I think he may be looking at other girls A LOT more to stop him from cheating... I know this is out of his nature because when we were best friends he didn't even comment on "hot" girls because he was with someone. He looked at porn still but he never needed to download any pictures or look at a girl mates pictures... and now he has got like that with me.

I questioned him and it turned into another argument, he then finally admitted that I am apparently his type, but this other girl is more attractive in a "stereotypical kinda way" which doesn't make sense because he has always insulted other girls who look "stereotypical" AND he knows her... They are friends. I find it a little weird.

So... my question is... do you think I can fix this relationship? Or is it beyond repairing... I am trying to get help for my PTSD and although he can get "inside" me (sorry tmi) it never lasts long because I have a flashback. Am I being unfair letting him stay with me when he obviously needs out?
We love each other very much and have always wanted each other.

Sorry this is so long. Please help? I don't want to lose him. Before these past two weeks our relationship has been beautiful.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend needs to understand that it is hard for you to have sex with him because of your memories. You also should go to a therapist because I can understand the part how he gets frusterated. He is being an asshole though! I would leave him and if he comes running back make sure you think about it before you give him a chance. Obviously guys watch porn, hell even I do. But when he is deleting things about you and saving photos of girls he knows to the computer...thats just disrespectful and fucked up.



He is not being a nice guy, you seem like you have talked to him alot about all of this stuff...and so far he seems like he is not listening at all. I'm sorry about everything but remember life has good and bad things, life couldnt be good if the bad didnt exist.



Its your choice, be strong and do what you know you need to do.

Answer 2

Keep working on this but also get pap smears every year to make sure you don't get HPV. Condom use or not, herpes and HPV can be spread even with condoms on. HPV can cause cancer. Guys cannot be tested for HPV in a lot of cases, and it can present itself with no signs or symptoms. Get pap smears every year, and get tested for other things when you need to. You can try the local health department if cost is too expensive as far as certain tests go. I'm sorry all of those horrible things in your past happened to you. You are very brave and strong for working on these things. I just chose not to be with guys. I took the easy way out.

Answer 3

i say that since this is only going on for 2 weeks then you can fix it. but i think you guys may need counseling. dont wait! or it'll get worse. of course your gonna need to get him to agree but if he loves you as much as you say he does then he'll say yes. i give you the best of luck.