how can i get my boyfriend to trust me?

Question

tonight my boyfriend of 1 yr and 3 months who is 29 says he cant trust me.... Cause he told me when we get off the phone ever night i say im going to bed but he know that i dont and that im on the computer and thinks i migh be talking to some guys which 100% not lieing im not talking to any im either on my myspace, facebook, ebay, google, or hereand he thinkd im chatting with someone.... and i dont my away message is alway on un less i want to talk to some one i see on. Im 22 how can i get him to trust me and do what i want even though im not talking to any guys. he told me he never well and he well have this gut feeling every night

Answer 1

I am sorry to say this but if he dosen't trust you then the relationship will not work out or you both will end up hating one another. I know it dosen't seem like that now but if he keeps making those alugations then you will end up hurt and mad.



Goodluck I hope it all works out.

Answer 2

If he told you that he will never be able to trust you then there are going to be problems in the relationship. there is no relationship without trust and honesty. He is going to always think that you are doing something when the two of you aren't together. He is going to question you all the time and constantly ask you questions and the more you say that you aren't the more that he isn't going to trust you. Its like being stuck and no way out. Its going to get to the point that when you say i love you that he is going to wonder why is she telling me this or if you buy him something, he is going to wonder is it out of guilt for something you've done or what. Trust has to be earned and right now he doesn't trust you so give him time and if this still goes on the best advice i can give you is to let it go. You can try talking to him again but i don't think it will matter once a person's mind is set its set. God bless you and i hope it works out.

Answer 3

Ok hun PLEASE READ THIS!!





If he doesnt trust you, this means he is INSECURE. It is not normal for him to tell you that you cant talk to people online, or facebook or whatever.



You are an adult and can do what you want. A nice secure boyfriend will know that you are not going to be cheating online cause you can have friends and chat with them and that perfectly normal.



If he feels he cant trust you, the only thing I can say is you have done something in the past to make him feel like that, and you tell him that it is NOT going to happen again. And that YOU LOVE HIM and nobody else.



Or if you havent ever in the past (which I am sure is the case), then tell him that; why cant you be allowed to chat with your friends, or go online if you want. Its not fair that he says you cant cant he thinks you are cheating. So jsut because he is insecure you have to feel bad about doing something that you ARE NOT EVEN DOING?



You need to tell him that if he loves you, and you are in a long term relationship that he HAS TO TRUST YOU.



And if he doesnt, then he needs to get over his insecurities.





I hope I helped a bit.

Answer 4

If you haven't even given him a reason not to trust you and he doesn't trust you then he's probably done something to you and is getting paranoid about what you're doing. It's happened to a lot of people this way.



Mind you if he hasn't done anything well you still need to break up with him. Because it's just wrong for him to be treating you like that when he should know that you're word is more important than anything that he thinks.



Unless you've done something in the past he shouldn't be thinking like that about you, and you need to break up with him because before you know it he's going to be controlling your life saying that it's the only way he can trust you if he knows exactly what you're doing and when you're doing it every day.



If there isn't any trust then there isn't any relationship really. Nobody can be happy if they don't trust each other.

Answer 5

Ive realized the hard way that some people, no matter what you do, are just completely incapable of trusting others! If you didn't give him a clear reason why he can't trust you, there shouldn't be a problem. Living with this type of person is not healthy and it is so draining on one's emotions. He sounds very controlling and wants to monitor your every move. He is taking a little issue and making it into big-time drama! It is not necessary. I suggest you find a new guy who will respect your innocent hobbies and move on! Best wishes!

Answer 6

For him to react like this after dating him so long makes me think he has reason to think this. You mention no prior distrust which prompts me to ask if you have ever done anything to endanger that trust. He might have misinterpreted something he saw or heard...its hard to say, or he could be right (I dont know you so I cant say which one of you is right). He could be just on a jealous rampage which is normal but it should die down. Jealousy usually involves a little insecurity, and regardless of what people say as long as it nots extreme or abusive and short lived (in spurts) its natural. In fact a relationship where there is never jealousy or a little insecurity from time to time is really the snake in grass IMO.Dont listen to these people telling you to chuck him at the first sign of distrust...if most people did there would be absolutely no relationships. Trust takes time to build and requires bumps in the road to become solid. Talk to him and tell him he has nothing to worry about and that you have eyes only for him. Sometimes we men just need to be assured thats all.

Answer 7

trust has to earned and not just handed to you as soon as you date. obviously, you lied to him when said that you are going to bed when you are not. when someone has been cheated on or lied to in the past, they tend to be more "careful" afterwards....why cant you tell him that you are going to be online for few hrs talking with friend or facebook/myspace and else. i dont think you will be able to make this man trust you, its been a year already and it doesnt look like it will get better. if you care much about this guy then try talking to him about it and sort out some ways to make him understand, if not then move on.

Answer 8

Nothing u say can make him trust you.People lie all the time. The best way for him to trust you is to look at your actions and tell him the truth.So for example-if you want to get off the phone to do something else- like watch t.v. or call your best friend tell him just that- and you'll call him back in whatever amount of time- but you have to hold up your promise to call back.

Answer 9

if your boyfriend said that he never will trust you, then this relationship might not be that good...

especially since you've been going out for more than a year!!

trust (along with love) is the foundation for any good relationship.

if he can't trust you then you need to make a decision as to if this is really worth the stress.

tell him that if hurts that he doesn't trust you

and that if you really didn't give him a reason to not trust you then tell him you think thats wrong.

Answer 10

trust isn't somethingt that could be built in a day, or a month, or even a year.



trust takes time, it is a 2 way thing. You have trust him, and then he'll trust you.



trust i something that is hard to build, but really fragile, it's so easy to break.



try showing him you can trust him from small things, like small secrects, house keys, money, etc. and if you say something/keep a promise, you should really keep it.



he should realize that you're not lieing.

Answer 11

he doesn't sound worth it - if he can't trust you when you are telling the truth, sounds like he has a problem, & you deserve someone who does not just assume you are doing things he doesn't like. (& so what if you ~were~ on myspace or something - if he doesn't like you talking to other people b/c they might be guys, he sounds like a very controlling or jealous person, & again sounds like you deserve better). but it's hard b/c you've been w/ him so long.... give him some time, & see if he still feels the same way. if he does, consider ditching him!!!!



& good luck....

Answer 12

If you want to get him to trust you let him know he has nothing to worry about, give him ur myspace password and aim so he knows that if u trust him enuff to go on them that you have nothing to hide. and if you dont wana do taht for some reason then y dont u tell him the truyth and say your going to go on teh computer for a lil while and then go to bed. its better then saying your going to bed. and also talk to him about why he dosnt trust you. have you ever done anything to make him not trust you? and ensure him that he has nothing to worry about.

Answer 13

That would bug the crap out of me. Did you ask him if he's has trust problems in a past relationship? Why would he keep thinking this. Ask him why you cant browse the internet without being accused of talking with another guy? That would TOTALLY bother me...and eventually would break a relationship. Sorry, the truth has to be said.

Answer 14

It takes a LOT of patience to try to prove to a non-trusting boyfriend that you're trustworthy.



However, since your boyfriend is actually accusing you of things and acting possessive, there's a risk of emotional or physical abuse here. You can try to be patient and prove to him that you're faithful to him & it might get better, but if he gets angrier and meaner, you have to be strong and get out before you get hurt. If he ever does hurt you, you definitely need to leave, because abuse is cyclic and there's always a definite chance that he'll hurt you again even if he says he won't.



Please take care of yourself.

Answer 15

Listen you dont need him. If you are having trust issues already then how is it going to be later on in the future?

Find someone that really really trust you. Tell him that you are not waisting your time trying to convince him that he is all you want, that if he wants to play games and be so unsecure then that isnt what you are looking for. It sounds to me that he is just looking for a easy way out and your falling for it. Stand up for yourself you might just be happier.

Answer 16

If he cant trust you then you cant trust him. maybe hes seeing someone else and wants to break up but is wantin you to break up with him. I would break up with him if he doesnt trust you and say i dont trust you either.



~Hannah Montana~



P.S. I have a facebook 2!

Answer 17

Im a boy and this is real important so listen up the 1 way and major only way is for you to trust him and love him as much as you can once he see's that,thats when he starts to trust u

Answer 18

Leave him. If he's that paranoid over something so dumb then he always will be. It will not get better if you get married in fact it will probably get worse and turn into a bad situation. You're young, you'll find someone else.

Answer 19

If he is that jealous of you being on the computer you absolutely must get on with you life.



You are too young and too decent to put up with this type of crazy jealously. Trust me girl - move on. You don't want to be proving yourself for the rest of your life.



Stop worrying about it. Do what you love to do and let nature take its course.

Answer 20

well dint do that any more. tell him what you did today or what you going to do when you hang up on the phone with him. if he really love you he will trust talker to any body. but dint every flirt with other guy in front of him Theo

Answer 21

If he cant trust you ,why u trust him?? You can never share what you do not have.If he can't trust you,then you know what is the answer to your question..the strength of the relationship does not depends on the length but on trust,hope,care and love.Distrust is insecurity and also the root of dishonesty..

Answer 22

This guy is a lunatic. If you think you have problems now, you better think twice. This guy thinks you are lying to him because you say you are going to bed and you go online? And he CHECKS?



Stalker. Move on.

Answer 23

No offence but 1 yr and 3 months on and he doesn't trust you, well I think its time to find someone else, or tell him your intentions of finding someone else if he cannot trust you.

Answer 24

To be honest i would say he is not worth your time. HE is way to insecure tell him to trust you and be a man..or c ya..he needs to get his act together but give him a chance to but he is really screwing up

Answer 25

If you tell him your going to bed try going to bed. I think i would be pist about it too... why can't you sit on the computer and talk to him on the phone.

Answer 26

You can't the trust issue is his and his alone. Until he deals with what started the problem for him he will never trust you or anyone else.

Answer 27

Definitely leave him... he's the one you shouldn't trust. The accuser is usually the one in the wrong.

Answer 28

Get rid of him and find a boyfriend that does trust you. This loser won't trust you no matter what!

Answer 29

I'm sorry to say this, but you should run as fast as you can from this guy. He is already mentally abusing you and down the road he can become physically abusive as well. Run!

Answer 30

ur boyfriend sounds like a real asshole!! if he can trust u while ur on the internet doin nothing then u need to find someone else

Answer 31

If you say your going to bed then go to bed,if your going to get on line then tell him you are.

Answer 32

ok this time im gonna answer seriosly to get him to trust you you need to stop caring about him and make him notice that your mad because he wont trust you( that always works trust me)

Answer 33

Trust, like money, has to be earned.

Answer 34

lose the guy, if he's like this as your boyfriend he will make a lousy husband, as in an abusive one.

Answer 35

you can't make someone trust you, you have to earn their trust! and it's not an overnight thing, it'll take time!

Answer 36

Break up with him

He's long term problems

Answer 37

break up with him--he's no good.Sounds like he has already made up his mind not to trust you, so there's nothing you can do.

Answer 38

Break up with him, no trust = no good relationship

Answer 39

tell him that all you did was go on the computer, no harm done, and then you'd go right to bed!

Answer 40

if you are 22 then why can't you write?

Answer 41

haha, guys alright. he's a loser. brerak up with him. you probably know that he dont trust you. your just wasting your time with him, move on!

Answer 42

that means he is doing it !!! So watch out dear

Answer 43

Stop cheating on him

Answer 44

he feels guilty because he is cheating.

Answer 45

ask yourself this.......do you love him enough to let your computer addiction go?

Answer 46

Let him catch you with his brother.

Answer 47

leave him

Answer 48

pray....................