Should I wait for her or move on?

Question

[This is very long, if you don't like to read, go to other questions]

A good friend of mine and I like each other, but we decided to take things slow, develop more feelings before we decide to commit. It sounded all good, since we had no reason to rush.

The problem happened when I found out how passive she was. I very well knew that she's a bit shy and introverted, but it wasn't too bad and I was certain she'd open her minds up soon enough. But no, she turned out to be the most passive person I've ever met.

When we talk on AIM, she's never online. She always hides offline when she's actually online, and tells me I should try to talk to her because she may answer. I asked her why she has to hide offline, and she said she doesn't like to be bothered by some people when she doesn't wanna talk. My attempt to talk isn't always successful, of course. I try a couple times a day, and I'm lucky if we talk everyday.
She isn't the most responsive person. Many times, she's talking to others, watching videos on YouTube, or other not usually very important things.
Sometimes, a couple times a week, I send her messages, either via phone text or Facebook, kind of like my diary just for her. How my day was, how I was thinking of her, asking how her day was, etc., especially when we didn't get to talk lately. With no exaggerations, she responds about one per 10 messages.
Lately, her attitude has been "meh" and when I ask her if everything is okay, she just says it's because of the work.
I realized that I never hear from her unless I talk to her first. So I decided not to initiate the conversation for two weeks, while keeping myself regularly available to talk. Guess what, she didn't talk to me at all, for two full weeks.

It gets me frustrated. I don't mind leading the girl, but I still want the girl to put in efforts, and the way things look to me at the moment, she's not even putting in half the effort I put in. I talked to her about this a couple times. She said she still likes me very much and that she's sorry for frustrating me.
I told her, "there is a fine line between apathy and blunt passiveness, and I'm quite sure you've crossed the line long time ago."
She reminded me that we were suppose to take it slow. It's been over two months since we agreed that we'll "take it slow", and she's gotten much more introverted since then.

This is a sad thing, because everything else about her, she's absolutely fantastic. Classic girl next door, great smile, sweetest heart, and even a bit of nerdy side. Everything I could ask for in a girl, she has it, except for her aloof attitude, which I really can't deal with.
I thought it's not a big deal, and I really tried to be patient and work it out for past two months, but when I'm starting to feel like I've been wasting my time, I know it's time to reconsider my feelings for her.

Should I wait for her or move on?
FYI - I'm 21 and she's 18.

1) Wait. Don't be a jerk now. She may be testing you. If only one aspect of her is bothering you, then you need to keep try. Be impatient, and you may regret later.
2) Move on. She's not worth the headache. If she's naturally passive like that, chances are, she'll always be like that. And if it troubles you this much, just stay friends with this girl, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Answer 1

you just gotta eat the pussy

Answer 2

It depends, how strong are your feelings for her? If you're just a guy who thinks that you can get some other girls out there, then it's not worth the wait. From the way I'm seeing this, she is not interested anymore. If a girl really likes you, she wouldn't treat you that way. Guys deserve to be treated well too ( well, most of them), and if she hasn't obviously been appreciating the effort you have done, then I'd say move on. You'll never know, she might miss you, but don't expect!

Answer 3

you know, it takes time to form a relationship or a committment. U were good friends and maybe she is more in the friend mode right now than the girlfriend - boyfriend mode. Don't rush things right now. Take it easy. Do not make her the center of your world when u are transitioning. If she doesn't seem as interested as u thought she would be than just let it go. Either she will come around when she is ready or not. In the meantime u live a normal life and enjoy yourself. myself

Answer 4

I think that you really just have to be straight with her. Everything you've just said to us, if you haven't already? Tell her, and soon! She may be introverted, and therefore uncomfortable with the conversation...but clearly her comfort zone needs to be expanded if she wants you involved in her life that way. Talk to her, tell her how you think she's amazing and incredible, and everything you want...but you don't know if she wants to "take it slow" or "take it" at any pace. If she tells you she does, give her a second chance to put in the effort. But if she still can't get up the nerve to hit you up via text, or she's at all unsure of whether she wants the relationship, its smarter to move on. Many people have the qualities you admire. Just make sure to make effort one of them.



Good luck~ (jitterbug).

Answer 5

definitely 2 brother. She's 18! come on! she can't be testing you!



Here's what you do. PEACE OUT! stop talking to her and she'll notice you're gone then she'll start messaging you again. Man honestly it's the chase you're making it too easy. Grow a pair! you're making yourself out to be too desperate and too easy.



If a girl is sending you 10 messages on fb everyday and telling her how she's doing all the time i'm sure you're not going to want her because it's too easy! We always want what we can't have. Once you stop making yourself readily available she'll come to you, if not, find someone else, you seem like you're a good guy and you're in it for the right reasons but in the end, good guys do finish last so you need to start playing the game, start seeing other women and once these women post on your fb she'll come back to you quicker than the quick bunny on hot chocolate :P



good luck!

Answer 6

It doesn't seem like she really wants to have anything to do with you or she would be trying to talk to you. I know when me and my boyfriend got together I couldn't get enough of him. I felt like I had to talk to him or I was going to die. She's not that into you. I say move on and find a girl who does want to talk to you. A girl who sends you "Good Morning" texts and wants to be with you and make you feel loved and supported. I hope you do what you think is best for you. Good luck.

Answer 7

there's a girl out there, that doesn't need 622 words to work out how much you care about each other.



move on, life is yours. you have to keep moving forward though.



no regrets.

Answer 8

She does not seem interested in you, so you'd better move on.