Is this unhealthy to be still in love with my ex?

Question

I got to know this lovely guy 5 yrs ago. It has been 3 years since we broke up- I had another bf afterawards and then it ended too. Now after all this years i miss my lovely guy so much. I know he is with someone now and he seems to be happy. I am very pleased for this and do not want to distrube him at all. I just found myself secretly still in love with him- i would imagine he was with me when I am watch TV and sometimes in the morning when I wake up i will call his name.. my heart is aching sometimes when i think about him too much so i try not too... I also think if he come back to me, he is the one, really.. I was just being a fool to break up with him.. Now all is too late- i was thinking maybe i already miss the boat- but i am also kind of not care because what we had was great.. Is this really unhealthy? Ot the truth is great love only came once?

Answer 1

I suggest that you resist the temptation to get back in touch and remember the reasons that you broke things off. You are forgetting some important things, e.g. how he treated you. You are 'in love' with the concept of being in love and not actually still in love with this particular guy. I say leave things as they are. You'll bounce back in time and find the one that was meant for you. And no I don't believe that great love comes only once....I think we create our soul mates over the course of time.

Answer 2

I am not sure if you'll agree with me, but I'll appreciate to drop 2 cent here.



Whenever you have issues with your partner, NEVER think about separation because the MIND always tries to make the decision, which not supposed to happen... Your mind tells you a whole bunches of craps, and your mind also loves to here negative advices... If you did take advantage of your MIND and allow your heart to explain how important your ex was to you, then I am 100% sure you wouldn't have decided to separate with him but rather to work things out... Now that you have already listened to your mind, today your heart gets the opportunity to talk... Why? Because your mind gets over the previous situation and it ends right there. That's what up with our mind; it likes to make decisions then leaves you all alone to deal with the choices it has made.



All you needed was to do is space yourself away from your ex for a couple days or weeks to allow your heart to explain to you... Right now your heart is talking, and that is why you feel so emotional... Your mind stimulates depressions, while your heart expresses great emotions... So my point is, you are not unhealthy, it is very predictable. Just let your heart know that he's gone... Today your heart tells you that it is willing to take him back in... Your MIND couldn't have taken your ex in under no circumstances, unless you only love him for his money or physical looks. Note that your MIND combines with an Ego.

Answer 3

I don't think it's uncommon for people to think about their ex's, especially if they seperated on somewhat civil terms.



I'm HAPPILY married, but I've wondered what my life would have been like if I stayed with a past GF. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's thought that.



Thinking of him from time to time is not unhealthy. Obsessing on him is. You broke up for a reason. If it was valid, well, it was not meant to be. If it was not valid, learn from your mistakes. There'll be someone in your future, just stay positive and leave the past in the past.

Answer 4

its a bit unhealthy because you are not going to find another good person if you still are thinking about the ex...Trust me I have had the same thing before..There is someone you will always love but mine also moved out and I did too..You just gotta move on and not bother with him

Answer 5

You need a hobby. That will help you from dwelling on the past. If it was meant to be, it would be. If you don't find something else to occupy your time, you are going to end up really depressed (more so than now)

Answer 6

remember the reason you broke up. Sometimes when we look back we forget the bad times. YOu might not miss him as much as miss the idea of him.

Answer 7

Are you sure you not just putting this bloke on a pedestal? Its easy to forget the bad times when your looking back.

Answer 8

This is super unhealthy. Suck it up and get over it. You probably have forgotten about how he farts and belches and eats friend chicken in bed.

Answer 9

yes it's unhealthy. you'll never see someone wonderfull in front of you if you are always looking behind. he may have moved on, he may be married. why set yourself up for heartache.

Answer 10

this is none. its great u love who u was with. but u made a mistake. he is happy. but arent u happy that he is happy? doesnt that make ur heart feel happier?

Answer 11

we all want what we can no longer have...just concentrate on current affairs and you will never have what you once had.