Ever heard of the quote: "Nice Guys Finish Last" ?

Question

I've been reading up on nice guys, and wonder if there's really a hint of fact in the "nice guys finish last" theory.

Speaking for myself, I'm generally a very nice guy; I take the initiative to do nice things for other people like opening the door for them or listening when they need advice. Heck, I've been described as a nice time quite a few times already. Is this ruining my chances of finding that someone (i.e. people just taking advantage of my niceness)? What's the deal with nice guys and relationships anyways?

Btw, I try not to be a pushover (I make my own choices and whatnot), but how nice is too nice?

Answer 1

You sound perfectly balanced and I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.  If the statement goes nice guys finish last, it doesn't mean they never get to finish.  It usually means they are smart enough to keep a helathy balance and therefore avoid all the ugly messy drama that others are willing to endure.  And when they finally do get a round to the few opportunities they are willing to accept they learn and appreciate more quickly.  They don't require the drama to sustain their existence or make them feel like a MAN.  The constant conquer and win in love and relationships.  Then when the right one comes a long who is capable of a mature situation, they THEN find what most have wasted time trying to.  More openly and honestly.  SO they don't miss out, they just finish in a different order than those that are so wasteful with emotion along the way.  You are fine.  Good things will come , just wait. And be glad you're NOT one going in and out of relationships just to maintain some type of feelings of confidence. You are a prize that someone is looking and waiting for. Hopefully that has the same to offer you in return.

Answer 2

Nice Guys Finish Last Quotes

Answer 3

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RE:

Ever heard of the quote: "Nice Guys Finish Last" ?

I've been reading up on nice guys, and wonder if there's really a hint of fact in the "nice guys finish last" theory.



Speaking for myself, I'm generally a very nice guy; I take the initiative to do nice things for other people like opening the door for them or listening when they need advice....

Answer 4

Girls are not attracted to nice guys on the intimate level. Thats the problem I think you're addressing. I used to be much 'nicer' than I am now and it didnt work. I always had girls hanging around me but only one or two would be slightly interested. It was probably cuz I 'knew' people and had 'connections' for parties and the favors that go along with them. I was a jock and kind of popular. I always thought if you were 'nice' to girls then they would like you but thats not how it works. Nice guys dont bring home kids out of marriage and the jerks who get ALL the girls just hit-it and quit-it. I wasnt really a push-over but I did let things slide just to avoid drama.



I did some reading and rearranged a couple personality traits and I could be a player if I had the time and desire but that stuff is just a waste of money and energy. You can still be polite and not be 'nice' at the same time. They are different. Being curteous is being polite but not necessarily nice. Dont go out of your way for complete strangers or girls you just met. Dont smother them with whatever protection you could offer them because they'll start to expect it and maybe take advantage of you.

Answer 5

Thats a greenday song lol



I think it seems like they finish last sometimes because they tend to go unnoticed because they arent demanding and stuff

like when it comes to jobs and stuff they'll step over anyone to get to the top...

girls are also atracted to bad boys but that lasts for like a week where as a nice guy could last forever.

I think at the end of the day the nice guy...even if he hasnt had like 100 girls and the top job and a flashy car probably has the better life....more people will like and respect him for being nice and being nice feels better than being nasty....

you'd die happier

bad boys cant be hot when theyre old...so they die alone





there is such thing as being creepy nice and seeming fake...like the opening the door thing

I think what I like in guys is if they are nice and genuine and not loud

can get in a bad mood sometimes and say stupid things like swear or call someone an asshole cuz that just shows they are not fake but in general wouldnt hurt a fly!

Answer 6

How nice is too nice?

Too nice is when you are naive, and you are kind to someone that has not earned your trust; and you already KNOW that they are NOT a nice person.



It's fine to be nice to nice people. Birds of a feather flock together.

It is actually conceited to believe that your niceness can turn an ugly person around. NOT. That sort of person will only use you. That's what they do. They get what they want from weaker people.



I think you already have a handle on things from your statement. Yes, be nice whenever you can, where ever you can. But stop short of the mean people, and

DON'T try to FIX them....

just walk away from them.

That'll make you nice and smart too.



^j^

Answer 7

I've been with 'nice' guys and 'bad' guys. I mean some nice guys can be real mean at times and some bad guys may have a sweet spot. But anyways. A lot of girls tend to go for bad guys just because it's fun or something to do. Nice guys may seem boring at times, to some girls.



Too nice could be a lot of things.If you're willing to do everything for a girl she might get annoyed and take it as you're being too overbearing. She might start to take advantage of that and just use you. You don't have to be mean instead of nice but just make sure you're not changing your life so completely for a girl, ya know?



Nice guys eventually finish with a good girl ;)

Answer 8

The quote is famous for a reason, because it's true. At younger ages girls tend to go for the badboy crowd because it's exciting and fun. The reason nice guys finish last is by the time girls mature and figure out what they really need and want they'll realize the nice guys are the ones that will take of them and be for them in the end. So don't sound discouraged, we may have to wait but in the end it'll payoff.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

They are ATTRACTED to the bad boy personality. That doesn't mean they want to be married to it, or even in a relationship with it. The trick is to act like you could care less about the girl (be the "bad boy"), to make her interested in you. Once you get her hooked, then you can go back to being nice... but not too nice. I know, it's nuts, but then so are women!

Answer 11

nice guys DO finish last, because it's human nature to take things for granted and as fort minor aptly put it, "don't know what you've got till it's gone"!



it won't ruin your chances though. i have found what people would label as a "very nice guy" and i wouldn't give him up for the world. it's all about finding the right person who knows how to appreciate you and avoiding those that would just take advantage of you.

Answer 12

When you sacrifice your own true feelings to please others, you are being too nice. I think I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm dating someone who could be considered a "nice guy", but I never take advantage of that. I give him back as much attention as he gives me. It all depends what kind of girl you are with. Some girls (and guys) really take advantage of kindness. PS It isn't ruining your chances of finding anyone. You should always be kind when you see fit. Plenty of women are nice too!

Answer 13

being a push over is too nice. There is nothing wrong being nice and thoughtful to others. Be who you are at heart and you will find your kind of people eventually.

Answer 14

no being nice is not a bad thing, but some people do take advantage of that fact, and they use it to their benefit, to in another words use you and boss you around.....nice is too nice when you let someone walk all over you and you dont do anything about it..

Answer 15

I would say you're being too nice when the person is taking it for granted or when it interferes with your own personal/social life.



But other then that. . .

Answer 16

You may not have attention or relationships in the short term but I think in the end the hard work will pay off. Just have patience. Girls really do want nice guys in the end. They may goof off with the bad crowd but most of them want nice guys for marriage material.

Answer 17

nice guys win out in the end i think, its just a case of making sure you don't fall into the 'mate' not 'date' category. be nice but be bold, if you like someone make your intentions known.

Answer 18

You should be able to do nice things for eachother.

But...

u cant let people control u or tell u what to do.

Answer 19

yeah same thing with nice girls