I really like a girl I may never see again. =( Help?

Question

So there's this girl I know, who I used to sometimes talk to. And I've grown to really like her, a lot. Without a doubt, she is among the sweetest, most considerate, and most trustworthy people I have ever met. She is also very intelligent, down-to-Earth, loyal, responsible, and mature - but don't let that imply that she doesn't have a sense of humour! =D I hold nothing short of the utmost admiration for her and everything she stands for, and I would love for us to become closer as friends.

But it's not to be. We've gone different paths in life. We haven't actually seen each other face-to-face in just over a year (though I believe I did catch a brief glimpse of her in the distance once, as I was walking). Frequently I would go on Facebook and check to she if she also is online, I would love to make conversation with her. But then for a split second I feel a surge of despair, because I fear she would simply ignore me were I to try. I'm not sure how to start up any sort of conversation with her, it's nerve-racking, and has been so for quite some time now.

She had made me to confess to her that I had feelings for her once, and it was unfortunately a very awkward moment for me. It scared me, I didn't know what to say, and I was anxious as to how she would react if I had said "yes." Eventually I admitted it, and from then on, we had sparsely talked; in fact, our most recent actual conversation was around 9 months ago. From that moment, my feelings for her only grew, and I had felt a good deal of sadness in knowing I may never see her again. Yet I felt calmed, because I had thought my feelings would simply expire as I got interested in other girls, and for a time I was. But my feelings for her never really went away, she was still frequently on my mind... songs make me think of her, looking at girls who look similar to her gives me butterflies, I try to sneak glimpses of her pictures that she uploads just so I can again see her adorable eyes, or her beautiful hair and smile (though I try not to linger there, as it feels to awkward for me to be looking at photos of other people without them knowing, makes me feel sort of creepy, you know?).

I wonder what I should do now. I had thought I was losing interest in her for a while, then I got back into her again - it happens whenever I have more than a week's holiday, like when I'm back at school I still subconsciously like her but I try to get into other girls in an effort to get over my old crush. It only works... for certain periods of time. Then I simply fall back to interest in her again.

Any advice?

Answer 1

You are a loving soul , belonging to a rare commodity , I respect you for that . My advise is to get over with it ..... try to locate her or find any means of communications , pick up the courage , ask her out ( hope she accepts ) and open your heart out ..... once and for all , Oscar Wield , a famous British writer and philosophic , said that .... I quote .. " Best way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it " makes a lot of sense to me , because this way you get over the itch , either way , once you open your heart to her , what would happen .... either she will take you or else reject you , either way you win , if she takes you it is a win , if she rejects it is again a win because the illusion would be over , but she would be very kind of unbleachedf she fails to see the love which you are hatching for her ---good luck

Answer 2

That's sweet. The only thing you can do is try.

Become her friend again, you can love her, just don't come on too strong with implying you want a relationship. I know it's difficult, but try seeing other people and letting her know you are obsessing over her.

The heart is fragile, only time will tell. The best thing is to replace the love with something else, see what traits and things you like about her and see if they show in anyone else.

Try to get into an activity that she's involved in e.g. netball.

Then invite her to a group outing.e.g. have a party with friends so as to not make it like your singling her out.

She might have been a bit freaked out at first, give her time. You can't force someone to love you.

If you love something set it free.



A friend of mine confessed she liked me more than a friend, telling me she wanted to run away and move in together and start a family. I got freaked out, she had our whole lives planned out. When she kissed me I flipped. It's only now I realise if she'd let me get used to the idea. I would have gone with her. I still think of her, but she's no longer in this world.



Give her time and space, try to move on. It's hard, you will always remember, but there is someone for everyone.

Answer 3

There are more apples in the tree, not all as sweet, not all as bitter. But they will keep blooming and growing.



You shouldn't just keep yourself closed to this one girl. Open yourself to new possibilities. Life gives you choices for a reason, too bad time doesn't wait.

Answer 4

you just need time to get over her. eventually you will no longer have these feelings towards her, but you have to make an effort by not looking for her on facebook and stuff like that! don't stalk.

doing this will help you forget her slowly, but it will take time.

it's easier the less you see her/see photos of her/talk to her/etc...

Answer 5

don't look at her facebook photos. just takes time. it took my best friend 3 years to get over this major crush on her best friend. liking other guys helped her, but so did seeing him with other girls (although it hurt her heaps). shes over him and they are great friends; things can sometimes work out fine.



from experience, you get over them easier when you are around them. other wise you build up this perfect image of them in you head but when you are around them you get to see their faults.