Is it ok if my boyfriend still keeps his ex photos?

Question

Today I wanted him to show me some photos so he pluged an external HDD in and I saw all those albums - parties and stuff, and also photos of his ex, I asked if he could delete the photos in which his ex is alone and he said he wouldn't, I got upset and walked out the door, then we talked and he said he would delete the photos because he really cared about me.

But we got this situation straightened out and I still doesn't feel like hugging him,

Is this whole situaton a reason enough to break up with him?

Answer 1

I think it's ok as long he doesn't meet with those women; it's all part of his history and life journey with hopefully mostly happy memories. As I've never been in a relationship in my entire life, I don't really know; I always get rejected after the very first date.

Well...I do keep photos of the women who I have dated and tried to get to know; the photos are not taken by me; I save them from their online profiles or the internet; I even keep the conversations / emails. I do this for two reasons; to allow me to dream of what could have been and also to remind myself how unlovable and undesirable I am. When I see the sheer number of rejections, it confirms that I've got nothing going for me as an organism and shouldn't pursue love, relationships or give myself hope that I may find a woman that wants to have sex one day. Sure this has sent me into deep depression and suicidal thoughts but it's all good; my funeral is already all arranged and paid for.

Thanks ladies!

Answer 2

Well in my opinion I think it is fine, unless he is physically seeing her if not then it is reasonably ok for him to keep photos of his ex. I think it is his past yes and maybe there was something that, that particular ex and him had that was so special and so he doesn't want to delete those photos because it would feel like he would be deleting the memories he had with her. :) I hope this helped.

Answer 3

I think it depends really but i don't think it's a reason to break up with him. If you're willing to break up with him because of a photograph then he obviously doesn't mean all that much to you.

I had a boyfriend once who had a shoe box under his bed with things of sentimental value from past relationships - pictures, presents, rocks from the beach where they went together etc. I didn't mind this, it's memories just like the fond memories I have with my ex boyfriends and I suppose I knew we would never really go anywhere as we were young and I simply didn't see a future. However, my current partner and I have been together for 5 years and we're looking for a house together to start the rest of our life together. I know I want to be with this guy for the rest of my life and I have thrown all my ex's gifts away etc, so I suppose I would feel that if my current partner had a box like my ex had, I'd feel now would be the time for him to get rid of it. I wouldn't tell him to though, I'd just put it out there.

Answer 4

I really don't think you should break up with him. It wouldn't be right to let a few photos ruin your relationship, so don't be rash when it comes to this matter.



I've been in your position once. Believe me it's totally normal for some women to be jealous or feel strange when finding out that their boyfriend has kept photos of his ex-girlfriend. I too got really jealous when I found pictures of another girl in my boyfriend's photo folders (but, a.she was wearing a bathing suit and b.she's a slut and I dislike her), I asked him to delete them because I was worried that he liked the girl and he did.



In my opinion it's alright to be a little jealous. If it bothers you so much that it creates problems with the way you interact with him, I think you should talk to him about it again. I think that if he cares about you he won't mind erasing some of his photos for you.



I do believe it's not very fair for you to ask him to erase a part of his past, though. I mean, how would you feel about this if you were in his place? Wouldn't you feel even a little bit upset if he asked you to delete some of your pictures? Have you considered the fact that these pictures might hold some emotional value for him? Assure him that you've made an effort to see things from his point of view.



If talking about it leads to another argument and he still refuses to erase the pictures then you should start approaching the matter with a little more concern. Again, if he cares about you and knows that you're thinking of breaking up with him and doesn't want to lose you, then he will definitely delete the photos.



Think about it and good luck. ;)

Answer 5

I think perhaps, the easiest way to say this is that they are just photos. They are a way to keep a link to the past regardless of how that past worked to allow you both to be together now. I would say that if he had a pic of her on his desk top, phone, or displayed around the house then you would have an issue. Never stand for that. But if he had to dig the HDD out, then obviously, like the HDD/photos, he has put the past away to move on. If you genuinely care about him and he you, then you have nothing to worry about. His ex is on a HDD and you are real and he is with you.

Answer 6

In my personal opinion, he should not have his ex's photos still whatsoever. And even if he had forgotten about them, as soon as you asked him to delete them, then he should've said yes right away. There shouldn't have been any him saying no and then him only saying yes because you got upset. In my opinion, if he wanted to keep them, then he still wants to look at them. Which means that he could still not be over her. You should def look more into it.

Answer 7

If you break up with him because of that petty bs you don't love him. I keep the photos of my ex because of the good memories. My ex's never had a problem with it why should you? They did it too. We just didn't throw them around or keep them in a wallet. It was left on Fb.

Answer 8

I personally would be very upset. Hey! I once found a video on my childs fathers laptop of his ex giving him head, that was horrific, I hit the roof!! He is now my ex haha. No I wouldn't break up for that, just have a conversation, it's not fair to make him delete them though as at the end of the day they are memories and he's with you now.

Answer 9

I still keep photos of my ex too. Actually kinda all my ex's. But I don't have any emotions for them anymore. I don't wanna delete them because they are like...kind of... how can I say; they represent a certain period of time in my life...In my history..In my personal or emotional growth, they represent something. Kind of like a childhood friend, who taught you some things, but is not in your life anymore... They are kind of still significant, or worth keeping picture of, because owing to them, I grew up, have become more mature; as every serious relationship teaches you something. Also, you share a period of your life with them, and for that period they make you happy; this also means something. (But doesn't mean they're the love of your life!)



As for your boyfriend... I don't know if he thinks like me, or if he still has feelings, I think you shouldn't overreact/ exaggrate unless you notice a bigger "evidence" that could indicate something suspicious. Be cool with it for now... But you can ask, in a non-angry, confident way, just, why he wanted to keep them at first...



Another option: He might have said no to you at first when you asked him to delete them because he wanted to make you more jealous. Some guys do such things. But I cannot be sure, cannot judge only from what you have told us.



In summary; keep calm and carry on!

Answer 10

I dont think that it is that bad enough to leave him but I understand why you are mad. I would be a little upset if my dude has pictures of his ex and we together and I see them because it makes me think he still got feelings for them. Since he deleted the photos then he really does care vs him not wanting too thats when you become concerned .



Good Luck :)

Answer 11

If he isn't talking to her anymore then i don't see the problem. He might have really good memories and may want to keep them as a memento. Doesn't mean he is cheating or doesnt love you. If he starts texting, calling, meeting up with her then that's another thing.

Answer 12

Depends why.



I have photos of my ex, but that is because my daughter is in them and I keep them because of my daughter.



Depends on what the photos mean to him. Do they bring back memories of her, or memories of what was going on in the picture?

Answer 13

Frankly, I think it's unreasonable of you to ask him to delete his own personal photos. Whether they are of his ex, his dog, his friends, or his motorcycle - just because those people or things are no longer in his life does not mean he's not allowed to cherish his memories of them. Who knows where you and he will be 10, 20, or 50 years from now? You're not married to him, and you do not have the right to ask him to literally delete his past. If anyone has reason to break up with someone, I think he's got a pretty good reason to get rid of you. I recommend you apologize and tell him that you were just jealous and that you really do trust him, regardless of the way you acted. Otherwise, if he actually goes through with deleting those pictures because of your demands, he's going to start to resent you for it.

Answer 14

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Answer 15

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Answer 16

No, do NOT break up with him over that. He said that he would do it--if you, let's say, happen to find out that he had lied and has yet to delete them, then yes it is a problem. But, remember that there is a possibly that this now ex could have broken his heart so maybe that is why he was holding onto the photos of her.

Answer 17

what the point of asking him to delete pictures if you aren't married, who knows maybe one day you two break up and then the pictures he deleted for you cant be returned any more. comes think of it, what if he want to keep pictures of you as memories after you two break up? its just past and its means nothing because its memories but he doesnt have any lingering feelings anymore. like the diary or letters. at least he wont show it off in front of you, he can just leave it back in box and can be look at again once hes get old, look back at memories and laughed cause he was once wild teenager or young adult.

Answer 18

It's tricky... I found a hoard of photo's too of my ex boyfriends ex girlfriends(!) and it really pissed me off! I told him that I didn't mind him having them but some of them, where they were hugging / kissing just didn't make me feel comfortable. He told me he'd get rid of them. The next time I stayed the drawer they were in was locked and he'd "lost" the key! Ha.. ****.. well he is my ex now..

Answer 19

Its not that bad enough to leave him, but I dont think he shouldnt have any EX photos at all. I dont know how long you guys been together, but if its more than a couple of months, he should feel it isnt necessary to have them.When my relationship with my fiance started to get very serious, in the early stages of our relationship, i tore and threw away one of my ex's photos that I found. I felt no connection and there isnt a need why to keep them.... not to sound mean... but really! My ex erased me from FB, and iam not bothered by it. My deepest connection belongs to my fiance, i dont need another mans photo in my phone or anywhere.



But its up to you, have a talk with him.... Before i threw my ex's photos away, I felt weird just...having them around.....lol

Answer 20

Yes

Answer 21

If his ex girlfriend is not actually a friend of him anymore so I think he should delete it, cause what's the purpose of holding photos of a person who you don't even talk to, but if they are really friends than it shouldn't be a problem I think.

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Answer 23

Depends on what kind of pictures, and your trust between each other.. Are they still friends? If he gets defensive and abnormally explosive about it, then usually that person is hiding his/her feelings. It's hard to give the benefit of the doubt. But the biggest matter is realizing what you do and don't want to deal with in a relationship.

Answer 24

Normal pictures are ok because she can be a friend but if someone keeps his/her ex sex photos everyone would feel upset because it's like he or she thinks of her/him and maybe he/she regrets this moment of complicity. So if he/she deletes this kind of pictures it's better and it shows that he/she doesn't feel anything for her/him anymore and it shows he/she respects you by deleting this photos. When you are in love with someone you don't need to keep sex photos especially if it's your ex photos.

Answer 25

Does he like looking at them still? That's rude to you. He needs to delete them stat or he can have a relationship with his ex and not you.

You are way too fine to be treated like this.

Answer 26

Its upto you. Do want you feel like doing. If you r still not comfortable, break up with him.

I broke up with my exboyfriend for keeping photos of his friends who were girls by themselves.

I realized that he even went out of his way to help them and would meet up with some of them.



Ignore the people who say its his past. True its his past but decide for yourself if his past bothers you.

Answer 27

WHAT a baby you are. If I was your boyfriend, I would have dumped you on the spot. Give up on relationships until you're actually old enough to have one.



I have pics of every ex I ever went with - as a bonus, I'm still friends with all of them AND their girlfriends/ex girlfriends.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZDzndjrDWM

Answer 28

As a freelance photographer, if anyone told me to delete any of my photos, even if my ex was in them, you would walk out the door and not come back in, ever. His past is his past so get over it.

Answer 29

Depends, are they nudes or just selfies? Maybe he doesn't wanna forget someone that was once a part of his life, even if he's moved on.

Answer 30

i am 60 and have a lot of pics of past women in my life, that doesnt mean i am unfaithful to the one i have been with for years, each one had special times and some good memories, you are never going to be someones 100% love , give him a picture of YOU and make his time with you so memorable he forgets about HER.

Answer 31

They're just photos.

Answer 32

You asked him to delete the photos. That was controlling.



You were supposed to say "Oh. I see you still have lots of photos of your ex by herself. Maybe we should take a break until you're over her. You can call me in a month to see if I'm still available."

Answer 33

Yes it's enough to break up with him. You don't actually need a reason to break up with a boyfriend.



You're not his wife, you're his neurotic drama-addicted teenage girlfriend. You don't need a court-accepted reason to end a relationship, you just need to say you're not his girlfriend anymore and your decision is final. There aren't even any papers to sign.



I can tell you're a neurotic teenager, because ONLY a neurotic teenage drama addict would get upset about a few photos of an ex. Adults just don't have problems with that, in fact they barely even take notice of it. My wife has old photos (before digital existed) of her ex in a box somewhere, and I couldn't care less. She also has memories of when she dated him, and I haven't asked her to delete those either.



Why am I so non-concerned that my wife has photos of her ex? Because I'm old enough to understand that they're just photos. If I found her ex hiding under something in the bedroom, that would be a problem. But a couple of pictures, not so much.

Answer 34

Hmmm, hard one here.. Well, if he's keeping his pictures of his Ex, that is a sign he is still trying to hold on to her.. He needs to delete them, and make him prove to you that their is nothing their, otherwise he cannot be complete to you. Make sure they are gone, keep an eye on him, I wouldn't call the relationship though..

Answer 35

I think since he refused to delete them, he might still have feelings for her. If you don't leave, you might find it difficult to trust him, which will make the relationship hard

Answer 36

Its fine if he keeps photos, the question is: does he talk/see them regularly?

Answer 37

He should add photos of you, kick you to the curb, and show his photos of you to his next girl..

Answer 38

That is no reason for breaking up.

Your unwillingness to accept him is.

Move on so he can find a girl who will trust him?

Answer 39

Yes, it's ok. You sound like the First Commandment: You shall have no other gods before me. Grow up.

Answer 40

Yes, as he could still just be good friends with her.

Answer 41

One if he says he loves u why does he even have the pics if he did delete them I would stay if he didn't I would go. Good luck.

Answer 42

You are unappealingly insecure...oh wait..you have a boyfriend so...whatever.

Answer 43

If you love someone, you have to respect everything about their past that made them the person they are today that you love.

Answer 44

If he's a rude, selfish, hypocritical, inconsiderate, condescending, stuck-up bad boy, dump him or reject him and tell other girls to avoid him!

Answer 45

All men do that. ALL men.

Get rid of your male friends contacts first.

Answer 46

they are his memories & as long as no sex ones, you should respect he had a past & hope he'd make you happy too



not that you deserve it demanding like that

Answer 47

Then you may not want to be with him even though he did what you wanted you still worry.

Answer 48

Nope, she should be something from his past as long as u r the one with him now unless if he still has something for her

Answer 49

no , thats a sign he didnt complete move on from his previous relationship.

Answer 50

No, it's not ok. break up with him.

Answer 51

Grow up.

Answer 52

Get over it. Stop trying to control him.

Answer 53

DEPENDS WHAT PICS BUT IMMA SAY UHHRM NOO DUMP HIS LOOSE UNFAITHFIL ASSS

Answer 54

well you can ask him to delete his memory or show your love and let him delete at his will.

Answer 55

gabba gabba says its only okay for you to keep pictures of gabba gabba himself



sincerely gabba gabba

Answer 56

photots are no big deal, just good memories

Answer 57

You sound worrisome.

Answer 58

strikes me as strange

Answer 59

I say no

Answer 60

if it bothers you that much, then yes, break up with him.

Answer 61

nope

Answer 62

to me its not ok

Answer 63

its cool

Answer 64

I think he should burn them

Answer 65

not so cool,ask him the reason

Answer 66

k