Why can't I get a guy to like me?

Question

I'm a twenty year old black female. Okay, before I ask this question just know that i'm not conceited or stuck on myself. Only trying to give you information so that you can give me an answer. I'm attractive. I've been told many times that i'm anywhere between an 8 and 10. I smell great, all the time. I have nice teeth. I'm tall and slim, but curvy (5'8, 150lbs). I have a really good job *air force*, i have a nice luxury car, and i'm in college. I'm smart and I have a future, not to mention a decent life that I really love. I'm a nice person and I help people all the time. Why can't I find a boyfriend? Every guy I meet is only interested in sex, if interested at all. I don't think i'm boring. How come some girls who are really sleazy and unfaithful get all the guys, but the nice clean girls like myself get no positive attention? If You can give me a tip, please do. thanks.

Answer 1

I know where your coming from. I was in a similar boat a few years ago. (just hear me out) I was hung up on looks and material things. I put off an air of confidence and arrogance combined with being very striking (slim, blonde, 5 "10"). I shot myself in the foot! Most men were so intimidated they wouldn't even look me in the eye. I acted that way because I was actually insecure....are you? Maybe if you tone things down a bit...less sexy maybe? Or go places you would be more likely to meet a "nice" guy.

I hope I've helped. I realize I may be totally off base but I wanted to try anyway!



Good luck and thank you for your military service!!!!!

Answer 2

Okay. It is NOT because you're black. Don't take any of that crap from those losers who say that.



And the attention sleazes get won't last them very long. It's not real happiness, they're probably not even really happy with their lives.



The right man will come, I promise. I know that sounds lame and everything but it's very true.



Try to get around more, check out the local cafe or bookstore or any upcoming concerts/festivals to meet new people. A good guy may turn up there!! Finding a worthy man at a bar or club is less than likely, to be realistic. Most regulars there aren't people who are looking for serious relationships.



Cheers, best of luck girl!!

Answer 3

First you have to love yourself. If you love yourself, then others will love you. Having all the worldly perks means nothing if self esteem is low.



Second, men are easily intimidated by a successful woman (she doesn't necessarily have to work in a fortune 500 company in order to be successful; she can just have a job and men would be intimidated). Try not to list all of your achievements. Men will think you are snobbish and that you are looking down your nose at anything less worthy.



Third, just be patient. You do not have to have a man now. God has someone still in the making for you. Just sit back, relax and be yourself. You can't find anything until you stop looking.



P.S.

All men are gonna want sex. Even the nicest ones. The only difference: the nice ones will wait with you and respect your decision.

Answer 4

Hm, well, I can answer a few questions I think... and take a guess at the other ones, lol!



The girls who are sleazy and unfaithful get a lot of guys... but guess what? A lot of those guys only want sex, so yup, they just both get each other a lot. (Then people wonder why those guys get all the girls and those girls get all the guys... those types just want anyone, and get each other a lot, lol). Also, people at college usually act just like you describe: only wanting sex and being unfaithful. Of course, not everyone is like that at all, but you do see those types more at college.



As for meeting guys who only want sex, well... I'd ask where do you usually meet guys? If you go to parties a lot, then you tend to get one type of guy instead of, say... going to the library, lol. Or some extracurricular club at school. Try meeting guys at a different spot. And keep looking, because there ARE other guys out there!



Also... well, don't ask me why I'm getting this vibe, lol, but if you tend to wait for a guy to approach you, you may want to bend the rules a bit and start talking to a guy that interests you for once. I know, this goes against all the official rules of meeting guys and dating and whatnot, but who knows? It might work out better for you.



Hopefully something here helps, and good luck to you in the future!

Answer 5

Okay these are reasons why most guys wont like you, they are not racist and they are not prejudice, they are just things that some guys don't like about you.



1. You're black. Few white guys are brave enough to have an interracial relationship either because they personally prefer white women or because they are concious of what some people might think about them.



2. You say you're attractive. You're not trying to attract yourself, therefore you're opinion does not matter. Some guys find you attractive, some don't. All guys are attracted to different things.



3. You might intimidate some guys. Most guys want to feel like they're the ones in charge. They want to bring home the big bucks and they don't want to be shown up by a girl. So basically most STRAIGHT men are looking for a girly type (a disciplined attitude is needed in your profession, but if you have balance that's great, just be sure you keep your flirty side out for your guy), This is just a guy's nature.



4. Guys naturally can't stop thinking about sex. But a guy who can learn to control this is one worth keeping, he puts your wants ahead of his (sex).

Answer 6

You sound like a wonderfully smart, beautiful, prim and proper young woman and I know exactly what the problem is. The guys you like are perhaps the wrong type of guy for you. You ought to look for someone who is a little similar to yourself, if not almost the same! Look for the intelligent, loving, respectful, handsome, sweet guys who would never do you any harm and treat you so well (and look for the guys who find those cheap, sleazy girls really unattractive!) You're a beautiful girl and I know all of my friends would love to treat you to a posh dinner somewhere but you first need to find the right kind of man for you! Perhaps try a different bar or club, or look around college for the type who shares interests and has a similar personality to you. Whatever your choice in the end, you must remember that you are a sweet, strong woman and you are better than those silly girls who sell themselves for attention and cheap thrills. I hope you find a gentleman good enough for yourself because, sweetness, you certainly deserve someone who deserves you.

Answer 7

Well first of all, you can't just get someone to like you. They either do or they don't and if you change yourself to appeal to some guy, then they're not interested in the real you are they? To me it sounds like you are a very respectable young woman with a lot going for her. Sometimes that can be intimidating to guys and they might feel like they're not good enough for you. I know I've been there. Just make sure to keep up the confidence and let them know you're not too busy with your life for dating and having fun. I'm sure there is someone that has noticed you and it's only a matter of time. Hope that helps. Keep a smile on your face

Answer 8

It might be that you have things TOO well put together. I'm not saying that you just just start sleeping with guys, but mabey it seems like you have things so well planned out that there is no room left for the unknown in his life or what he might want in life. A lot of guys can be intimidated by too much structure in thier life. Also, a good way to meet guys for a serious relationship would be to take up a hobby that takes some serious effort/time/discipline to pursue. Then join a club for that hobby. Good luck.

Answer 9

there are plenty of things that factor into finding someone that wants something more than carnal pleasures. yes it seems that you are a catch..but are you putting yourself in situations that are conducive to the outcome you are looking for? as I'm sure you know going to the club or somewhere similar with a intimate setting isn't probably the best option for finding something like a boyfriend or something long term. that environment is set up for just the opposite.



also..in my opinion trying to "find" a boyfriend is almost counter productive...lets face it..when you want to find something you put forth that effort..some guys may take that as something other than you checking out your option..they could quite possibly read into it wrong.



while all your amazing attributes are good reasons why you would be a great catch..all too often guys are turned off by either a cconfidant woman or a woman that may be intimidating because of all these things. its strange how it works and too long to type..but if you are interested in attracting someone to appreciate you and all you bring to the table you might just switch up the way you go about doing it or the enviroment you put yourself in.



if you find someone who might be interesting..approach them and see what they are about..find interest in things they like. i noticed you wrote all the good things about you but not all the good things about what you look for in a guy. pursue..dont be pursued

Answer 10

in my experience most guys are only interested in one thing, so that's no surprise, but the girls you talk about (the sleazy ones) do you really think they get the type of guys that would be worthy of you? Probably not! they're getting all the guys who are only interested in one thing, because they know that those girls will put out. So don't sweat those other girls! my advice to you is just to put yourself out there more, are there any clubs or anything that you can join at school? How about doing some community service on the weekends, or in your free time, there's guys of substance those kinds of places, or join a church in your area that has a singles class. There's good guys out there, but you have to be actively looking for them, they're not just going to come to you. Good luck!

Answer 11

You're just going to have to wait for the right guy. It could be possible that the area where you live in is filled with horney guys who only like the bad girls. Maybe you should take up a hobby, and try to meet guys there, or have a friend hook you up to someone who does not live in your town. Or try online dating. I'm in a similar situation as you are - people tell me I'm attractive, I get above average grades, and I have a good personality, and yet I don't have a bf.

Answer 12

you might be intimidating.

guys probably see all you have and feel belittled because they have nothing to offer to you and are going to seem small time compared to you.

oh the sleazy girls get all the guys because the give* something else.



patience is a virtue. so what i think is that you should just stop looking for a bit, just try to forget about guys for a while. then one day when you're doing your thing, a guys going to look at you and be like damn that girl got it goin on. haha =]



or you could try socializing more [NOT at clubs, guys there are worthless most of the time] but more guys you know = better chance of you finding someone that likes you.

Answer 13

Coming from a male's perspective. Don't be shy or go after the guys who are obviously only after one thing. Find an activity within your school so that you can meet guys with similar interests, therefore you'll have something to talk about/do besides...



You'll find someone soon enough, patience is a virtue.

Answer 14

Some man could find that you are too good for them, some man would think that you would not want them because of your success. Hell If I were A guy I would date you lol, but any way maybe your guy just hasn't come around yet, but don't give up.

Answer 15

Well that's just it, the sleazy girls do get all the guys. For sex. I think you should let yourself out there more. Lower your standards a bit, show your personality, and keep looking. Have you tried work, bars, clubs, even online dating?

Answer 16

thats how guys are though they want the girls that are easy but if you just be patient and stay the way you are you will find an amazing guy!! or maybe their all just scard to talk to you! lol beleive it or not thats how it is with me im single and have been for a long time but im not ugly..just most guys dont talk to me because their scard or they think im taken so they dont even try lol

hope this helped!!

and goodluck!!!

Answer 17

you're only 20 - relax it will happen - and when it does it will be amazing! try playin hard to get with the guys who just want sex (i'm not insinuating that you have given in before) and it may give you a little practice on how to hold a guy's interest...they love the chase!

Answer 18

maybe its not you its the guys dont change anything about yourself just to get the guy or you might end up doing something stupid just wait maybe the perfect man is out there you still got a whole life ahead of you so dont rush to get a boyfriend wait for the perfect man he'll come

Answer 19

I agree - be patient. I've noticed that in my life, my friends who try so hard to find love are the ones that can't. Maybe you're too picky. Or looking for something that you can't possibly find. Why not go wi

Answer 20

hold out girl. a good guy will come your way someday. just make sure you are looking in the right places. don't overlook some guys because they don't have the hottest looks or coolest car. sometimes the best guys are those diamonds in the rough.

Answer 21

the guys that are not interested in sex will be a little acared of datnig a succesfull woman like you, guys ussually like to date the not very succesfull girls so they dont feel less, have patience and keep being yourself, one day you will find the right guy

Answer 22

Honestly I think you intimidate the hell out of guys your own age. Im 30 and you intimidate me LOL. Ill date you :)

Just be patient it will happen. I promise.

Good Luck Sweetie

Answer 23

I feel the same way sometimes. But the right guy will come with time. Pray and ask God to send mr.right your way. Just hang in there. :)

Answer 24

maybe the guys can see that your nice and beautiful and hold that agianst you. like they know your nice so they can walk all over you. they get what they want from you and then leave. im sorry but guys can be like this. just live your life, have fun and the right guy will come around when you least expect it. just dont go looking for him or trying to hard. he will come to you! best of luck girl!!

Answer mine!!!

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080808134426AAMTvL0

Answer 25

I'll date you. lol...

idk

i have kind of a similar problem...

the only diffrence is im kinda fat...

just keep looking, im sure you will

meet the right guy soon.

mabey some guys are intimidated by you...

Answer 26

You must be looking in the wrong places, trick things up and get outside of your usual comfort zone.

Answer 27

Find a new place to meet men.

Answer 28

ur only 20 and yet r in air force and have a nice car etc etc!?

may guys find succssful girl intimidating sometimes



ok now answer mines

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080808141253AANLjyK

Answer 29

Usually it happens when you least expect it. Just keep focusing on you. Perfect yourself as a human. That way, when it is time, you'll attract someone just as perfect as you.

Answer 30

Dont worry everyone will eventually get someone to lk them. You just havent met the person yet

Answer 31

Stop trying. Be yourself and love and enjoy everything that you have created for yourself. One day a man will come along and find you fabulous and irresistable. .

Answer 32

"Nice clean girls" aren't worth our time because we already know we're going to have to meet some outrageous standards before we even get to see your bedroom. No woman is worth jumping through emotional hoops like a trained animal. It's demasculating for man to do so.



Get off your high horse, sweetie. You're not worth the effort you want guys to make for you.

Answer 33

most guys don't know what's best for them until they reach like 30. don't wait for him and he'll come along... until then don't waste your time worrying about it, you're still very young and you can still enjoy your life.

Answer 34

I wish I could meet you but Im in Ireland so that rules that out...

Answer 35

Nice "luxury" car???



To me you do sound stuck-up.



Thank you for your Air Force service!

Answer 36

You might not have found the right guy yet

Answer 37

Just wait and see. Good things come to those who wait. ;)

Answer 38

Damn you sound like a great catch, if you latinos call me.

Answer 39

it's because your waiting for a guy, fait has a funny way of happening when we least expect it ;)

Answer 40

Because u need a guy that wants YOU.

Not your panties.

Answer 41

I promise you, the time will come.

Answer 42

Why can't I get a girl to like me!



Answer that!

Answer 43

You need patience.Just wait. You'll find him.

Answer 44

why do you need a guy? you're doing fine without one.

Answer 45

if all else failed you can move to england.

Answer 46

you sound hot to me.. :D

Answer 47

guys are horny pervs

Answer 48

u might be ugly