Need some advice on a confusing situation...

Question

This is kind of a confusing situation but I just thought someone could give me some perspective. Some back story:

I have a gay best friend, who I had and still have feelings for to some extent. I'm trying my best to move on, but he is not making it easy for me. He knows how I feel (and has a boyfriend of his own) but still flirts with me constantly, says how he would marry me, and has admitted that I deeply confuse him. He can also be very manipulative in my own dating life, finding ways to insert himself to the point that I feel suffocated. (example: on the first date with a guy I had met, he called me five times when I wouldn't answer my phone). He constantly calls and is the main pursuer in the friendship. As time has progressed, our relationship has also gotten somewhat playfully abusive. He sees no problem in play-hitting, etc.
My main problem lies in the fact that I am trying to date other people and need some closure on this. Is this relationship healthy? Should I get out?

Answer 1

I have a friend like this. granted the situation is different but some of the basics match up,



you have to distance yourself somewhat from him, obviously still want this person in your life but something has got to give for your own sanity,



Firstly when you are on a date stick your mobile on silent, you obviously dont call this guy when he is with his lover why isnt he giving you the same respect back? put your foot down,



he love's the attention that he gets from you. who else would stop having fun to give him the time of day . he knows how you feel and is playin up on that. thats not being a very good friend to you.



id feel that in this situation that there is no point in havin a conversation with him about it as obviously he enjoys whatever hold he thinks he has over you an havin a talk would prob make the situation worse, the hard part for you is the fact that he gets under your skin only you have the power to stop this from happening. screen your phone calls, only answer and spend time with him when you know that you are in the frame of mind not to let his selfishness get to you.



yes selfish, thats what he is.



you gotta take a lesson from his book darlin an be godawful selfish yourself. you gotta think of whats best for you. he's obviously takin enjoyment from how he makes you feel. and you deserve better friends from that



and obviously he needs to get over himself

Answer 2

Just leave him alone.

It might get to the point where he tries to control you.

That wouldn't be good at all.

Give it sometime, or you can talk to him about this.

But I think you've already tried.

Answer 3

GET OUT!! that relationship is soooo unhealthy...what are you doing to yourself.....

Answer 4

I wouldn't be friends with him anymore if he keeps interfering with my life as well as confusing mine and his life. But it's really your choice if you want to deal with a toxic friendship. I say toxic because it is toxic.

Answer 5

Leavev him alone

Answer 6

Honestly he doesn't sound like a good friend. He sounds confused himself. But in the end its up to you if you want to keep dealing with him.:)

Answer 7

Doesn't sound like a friend at all!!! Sounds like he is very mean spirited, especially knowing you are trying to move on and he has a boyfriend!! Leave Mr Manipulator alone.....it will only end in tears!!

good luck

xx

Answer 8

speak to him

Answer 9

Break the friendship off. He may be gay or Bi, but chances are he is gay. He is just a really selfish guy who doesnt want you to be with anyone else. What kind of friend is that? Move on and away from him. Distance yourself.