DID MY MAN CHEAT ON ME? IS IT A HICKEY?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years... We are expecting a baby in 5 months. We live together & are as close as a married couple. My boyfriend has done things in the past to make me not trust him,but never physically.
I have put complete and utter faith in him to believe that he would never cheat on me (Physically) or flirtatiously. No one, including myself, Could EVER fathom him being a cheater, It just does not seem to be in his blueprint. None of his family or our friends think that he is capable of cheating. They would be honest because I have been part of the family for years, it's not as if they're sticking up for him just because. Being that I have SO MUCH trust in him, that is what makes it hard to say whether he cheated on me or not.

The other day, He was changing his shirt. From far away, I spotted what looked like a scratch on his stomach just below his rib, I over looked it. The next day, he was lying in bed with his shirt off. I went to hand him a bowl of cereal,I had got a closer look at the mark. It is anything but a scrape. It looks exactly like a hickey. There's no way this is a bruise. It has the needly reddish purple dots that rise to the top of his skin when the blood vessels are broken from the vacuum effect. I am positive that I did not make this mark. It is very light now. My sex drive has been low since getting pregnant, Another reason to cheat on me...
When I asked him "Is that a hickey?" He flipped out & started yelling instantly, "No babe what the **** why would you say that you know I would never do that to you we're having a ******* kid together, I don't need to take this **** from you man!" Which is odd for him, Normally, he's mellow. He would say "No it's not babe you're silly. I don't know what that is" THAT is the response I would think I'd get from him if he were innocent, he had been having a bad day already so who knows. After he yelled at me, I sat down at the computer & he was in bed. He seemed to have rethought his approach, came up to me & said he loved me, that he wouldn't do that but he still seemed nervous. He said "It does look like one babe but it's not". He seemed off but that could have just been my imagination :/ He is just not the cheating kind, so where would he get a hickey or what looks IDENTICAL to one? Not a blemish for sure and i'm almost positive it's not a rash because it's smooth, and fading. He works about an hour & a half away every day, gets 2 breaks that I know of. He has only been late getting home a couple times just barely, so i don't think it is work related. I don't think that if he cheated, that it had ANY emotional or longterm/frequent attachment because he has no way to contact someone. We share phone, computer, etc. I believe that if he DID, It was a one time thing. His brother has been in and out of jail. My boyfriend has a hard time saying no & his brother is a terrible influence & does things to be funny. My boyfriend drives his brother places that he needs to go every once in a while and has even went without me to go enjoy weed with him. (I have asthma & I'm pregnant so I don't go, I rarely give him the go ahead to go without me) but he has a couple of times. I almost think my boyfriend who has a hard time saying no must have been high or something and his brother convinced him to let a girl give him head for a couple bucks for fun. His brother is a drug dealer & a womanizer so he knows a lot of trashy people & slutty girls. My boyfriend knows that I don't like him taking his brother for "Errands" because it is dangerous and his brother is a bad influence. The day before I saw the hickey(Or what i think is one), I caught him in a lie. He said he took his mom to circle K to get some stuff. He accidentally told on himself later & finally had told me he took his bro somewhere. He rarely lies & anytime that he does lately, it's because of his brother. He says he feels helpless that I won't believe him, which is a sign that he didn't do it, but he has also been catering to my every whim almost out of guilt, it seems. I need to get the truth out of him, I have told him that I will still be with him if he did it, But he still denies it. I feel so bad and confused. It's either he did it & I wont find out, Or he didn't, & I just keep nagging him about it which is unfair. I just keep going back to that mark on his stomach...Then decide to not believe him again. Ideas for me to get him to tell me the truth if there even is one? Signs he's lying, signs he's being truthful? How do I act until I know, or until I can get over this? I'm not going to "Kick him to the curb",so don't suggest it please.

Answer 1

I can't tell you if he did or didn't do it. However, I have had marks left on me that look like a hickey from my skin being pinched just right. My friends would try to leave them on me at school by pinching me because they thought it was funny to see my mom freak out about it for a moment before telling her that they did it and how. Also, I have witnessed my boyfriend get one on his wrist while working on his truck. I didn't see exactly what he did but, he started cursing and yanked his hand back, and later it looked like there was a hickey on his wrist. Again, I'm not saying that it's not but, there are other possibilities. Why don't you just ask him how he did it? He might tell you. Either way you have chosen to stay with him, therefore you need to find a way to get over this one way or another. If there is no evidence of him cheating other than this one mark on his stomach then assume that he pinched himself in some way, and let it go.

Answer 2

Just let it go. Pretend it didn't happen, even if you're sure it did. From your description, it sounds like he did, but at the same time, since you were already suspecting, you could've been seeing things that weren't really there, which gives us a bit of a biased opinion of what is actually going on. Regardless, he obviously feels bad about it, even if he did do it. Even though you say that you would stay with him if he admitted it, I'm sure he just either a) doesn't want to make you upset, b) doesn't want to risk losing your trust, or more likely c) he is ashamed that he did it in the first place and wants to forget it ever happened. Just forget about it, and just assume nothing happened. He obviously loves you. **** happens, but he's obviously not leaving you for some slut, and you even admitted that it couldn't possibly be an emotional thing even if it did happen. There's no way to know for sure, I say just leave it alone.

Answer 3

I think that is up to his wife to decide. Some may consider it cheating some don't. If it were me, I would have an issue with chicks sucking on my husbands neck, it all depends on the situation, if say we were ( together ) at some club where the wait staff offered bodyshots I may allow it it's a dicy question.

Answer 4

You ask for help then tell us what not to tell you. Unless he put a vacuum cleaner hose on himself it's a hickey. Deal with it since you intend to stay.