What a man really saying when he tells you he is not ready for a relationship but will do a booty call?

Question

I met a great looking guy through a friend and we talked for hours on the phone 10 the first day we spoke and many hours for over a 2 week period when we met in person it was wonderful. We laughed had a great time by the third date we got very close the fourth date jackpot! Still after we talked all the time every night for hours he still would call check on me ask if I made it home answer all my calls... However he has turn telling me he is scared and not ready I scare him and even though he likes me and thinks im very great he just realizes that he is not ready and may be soon but I deserve better and he wants to still be friends. He still answers when or if I call but he is dry.. So I stopped calling hm and moved on, but he will text me every now and then asking how am I doing hows my day and all that but he wont come by (he lives an hour in a half away and works 16 hours a day) Well he recently just told me after I asked him did he want to be booty buddy's and he said YES! He said he could handle that but not a real relationship! Im like...Kiss grits...Is this worth playing with and waiting on... Im so hurt. that I feel like this is what he always wanted and was too much of a coward to tell me. He claims he did want something special but things have changed for him at this time... Why does he call when he knows im not doing that why does he check to see if im okay? Yes I like him and I think he does like me too, it was like all of a sudden this happen he just stopped being open and available, now he can do a booty thang? He works 2 jobs and he spread too thin is what he says... I never asked for any of that in the first place. He does not want to have a committment or relationship because of his schedual and all he has going on but he can try to squeeze in booty calls and be friends and talk on the phone because its less stress for him at this time. He cant be foucsed on a relationship like he thought he would be... Im like hell no! Ive moved on but it hurts and I wanted to know if this was a bogus lie or is there in any truth in it? He never makes effort to visit he says he will but does not now he can if I agree to being a booty buddy...whatever!

Answer 1

Okay, first of all, that paragraph was WAY too long and nearly impossible to read. Edit before you post, please! Now onto my actual answer:



I'm sure you've heard that men are afraid of commitment, right? And relationships, real meaningful relationships, take a lot of time and energy. For a man who's working 16 hour days, traveling an hour and a half on a regular basis to go on dates and talk and do all that boyfriend stuff is just too much work! An occasional hookup here and there is much easier.



It sounds like he's a great guy, but I'm sure you can find someone else just as awesome who actually wants and has time for a real relationship with you. If a booty call here and there really isn't enough for you, it's time to move on.

Answer 2

If you want a relationship do not settle for a friends with benefits situation. You are going to end up getting hurt. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Tell him he needs to make a commitment, or no nookie. You deserve better!

Answer 3

He obviously doesn't want (or isn't ready for) a relationship... If you are looking for a relationship, then you need to move on! Don't settle for being a friend with benefits if that's not what you want!

Answer 4

move on sweety you deserve sooo much better than this douche bag. (most guys are) he just wants some ass. sorry but thats what it sounds like. just forget about him and ignore his txts and calls unless you want to feel used and played like a fool. Moving on will be hard but itll be worth it. and you'll look back and wonder why you didnt move on sooner. Trust me i know.