why would hes ask me to abort? jerk or being smart?

Question

he says he loves me and plans to marry someday we are just 18 and when i thought i was preg he wanted me to abort cause he says we could berly take care of ourselves and he has no money but if we were older he'll ask me to keep it. is he being smart or is he a jerk should i still be wit him after what he said

p.s it turn out to be false alarm the preg thing

Answer 1

You are still very young and luckily you were not pregnant. It depends, how did you feel about it. I believe in a women's right to choose and everyone is different. I can tell you that I had my children young and it was very hard. I don't think he is being a jerk, men (boys) sometimes don't react well to news like I may be pregnant.

If you feel that you could financially take care of your selves and your child then I would say keep your baby. If it is already hard and you are living paycheck to paycheck then he was most likely being smart.



Take Care and Good Luck

Answer 2

It sounds like he was being smart. It's very tough b/c as the woman you have feelings he will never understand.

Whether you stay together or not is up to you & ultimately if you are ok with what he wanted. You may begin to feel resentful. At 18 you guys are very young & having a baby would have been very difficult.

I'm glad it was a false alarm b/c you probably feel better that you did not have to abort.

Follow your feeling as time passes. Be careful & take care of yourself.

Answer 3

Well I experienced the same thing with my boyfriend. I went through a stage of not caring about anything...and so I wasn't on birth control and I got pregnant. My boyfriend was such an a$$hole about it and we fought constantly. His argument was that there is no way we could take care of it..either of us have enough money really to take care of ourselves and I'm trying to finish school. And naturally..as a woman...I wanted to have it because that's just what you are supposed to do. I wanted to make it work however we could. I thought he just didn't want to be responsible you know and he wasn't a man..but now that I think about it he was right. It was not possible. But I held my ground and was going to have it...only to have a miscarriage. But that whole experience taught me that it is such a huge decision. I think that you should stick with the pregnancy..there are always other options such as adoption. But you do have to realize the money it takes just to live with a baby..and the time ..and emotional strain. I think that men tend to think about it more from a money-can-we-do-it standpoint then women..who don't want to go through the abortion no matter what. It's a fine line between coming off as a jerk and being mature and realistic about the situation. So take it as a learning experience. Go to school. Get a job...make sure you want to make your life with HIM...and then DECIDE to have a child. THat's how it should work. Cheers and God Bless!

Answer 4

Well I don't want to say anything about him because I don't know him, however, I strongly disagree with his decision. STRONGLY!



You (were) are having a REAL LIVE child. Abortion is murder. If that ever happens to you again I suggest you speak with women who have had abortions. Most of them feel HORRIBLE afterwards.

It is a huge decision to kill your son or daughter.



What if your mom had had an abortion ... there would be no you. Can you imagine? Look at all the people that you love and love you back. Can you see what they would be missing out on if you weren't here?!

Abortion is a mistake.



Best of luck with your decision regarding your boyfriend.

Answer 5

I am glad that was an a false alarm...I hope you learn that he is not worth it to be around to...Well that is a sign about how he will be in the future so ....By the way you are way too young to have kids...Go to school get a egree that will help you to aford your living...And really if you one day decide tohave a baby doesn't matter if is a man at your side...You won't need one just a good pay job...Learn from an expert....

Answer 6

big time jerk not wanting to take his responsbilitys and be a father or a man! dump him!!!! for those that say you couldnt handle a baby at 18 I had my first child when I was 18 and I am 25 now I've done a fine job at raiseing my lil one's...Im now a mother of 3 and love them all the same good luck

Answer 7

I think he was a jerk for asking you to have an abortion. That is a very bad thing to do. I am glad that it was a false alarm. Try using better protection in the future.

Answer 8

Maybe he thought it was the smart decision.

Personally i'd never date a guy who would even suggest abortion. To me life begins at conception and adoption would be the answer, but not everyone agrees.

It depends on how you feel. Do you want a guy who believes abortion is fine? Would you be okay with it too? If yes is the answer, i think the relationship is fine :D

Answer 9

dont worry about it because he was being smart you both would have been strugling for your whole lives. And if you two are still together then continue to stay with him just get on birth control and wait until you are finacially stable. Make sure you have fun before you have kids so you dont have any regrets. Its easier to get on your feet before you have kids. And dont get married until your middle twentys because you might grow apart and later in life and you might find you made a mistake. And remember kids are very expensive. go to collage and get a good job

Answer 10

any man who would ask u to abort a child is not worth loving. as our kids are the most important thing, the men are not. take some kind of birth control, as the decision to keep a baby or abort it, is never easy, getting abandoned hurts the most. don't put yourself in a predicament with this man again, u kind of know where u stand with him, and its foolish to put any trust in him again. there is nothing smart about this man, he is just trying to avoid responsibility.

Answer 11

his very smart!! sure its great to have kids and feel the love for them and watch them grow but when you are both young and finances are tight in this financial world we live in, having a child will be a struggle!

sure there is religion to turn to and love etc which is all great but at the end of the day everyone needs to get paid and that is all it comes down too, look at the statistics of divorce, its mostly about lack of finances.

Answer 12

He is being honest and smart. It's better he tells you he thinks you should abort then to say nothing and take off leaving you alone with the baby.

Answer 13

Make sure to take better precautions.

And the answer is he was covering his own butt ! I could never take a baby's life, I would have put it up for adoption . I would find some one that could live up to their responsibility .

You are so lucky you found out now .

Answer 14

Well, think of it this way. If life is so meaningless to him in the years to come you may be on a life support machine and he may be the one who can say if you have become a burden or not.

Answer 15

i think it was a good idea, becuase you really could not finatially take care of a baby and it would probably tear the two of you a part; but you could always put the baby up for adoption.

Answer 16

Two words. Child support. He's watching out for himself.

Answer 17

Regardless of if he's being "reasonable" a man should NEVER ever ask that question. Woman's body, woman's choice and all of that. Sure, he's stuck with a kid, too, if you so choose that option.. but.. He dipped his wick. That's an agreement, there.

Answer 18

He can't be THAT smart since he didn't wear a condom. So he's probably a jerk.

Answer 19

depends on if you could support it all did you want to keep it? probly smart at THE TIME

Answer 20

being an absolute jerk!!!! He has no respect for the life he created!!!

Answer 21

no i think hes smart, at 18 you probably cant handle a baby

Answer 22

jerk he doesn't want you to have the baby cause he doesn't want commitment

Answer 23

I'll go for.. Jerk.