I have two most amazing men who want to be with me. How do I choose?

Question

One of them is my boyfriend who treats me with respect, listens to what I have to say, and if I am sad he does everything in his power to keep me smiling. We are the same age and he is very goal orinantated...goes to school full time and works full time. He constantly let's me know how much I mean to him. The other is a doctor that I work with. He is 15 years older (36 and I'm 22) but he doesn't look or act it. He is great to joke around with, smart, handsome, and could give me a stable lifestyle. Over a year ago he just got out of a 5 year relationship in which he wasn't treated right. He has more of the personality that I like (my boyfriend is the party type and that's not me I am so opposite of that). He told me my boyfriend is extremely lucky, I am wise beyond my years, and that he is jealous of my boyfriend. It's an amazing thing in life when out of all the other women in world someone chooses you. Age is a big factor for me but I also want to be happy...

Answer 1

I have worked with doctors for over 25 years now and they are all pretty much the same. They all want the younger woman because they know they can have you. Trust me on this one...as you get older, he will find yet another younger one and so on, and so on.



Brownie, stick with the man that obviously loves you and wants you for you. He sounds like he will be the one that stays by your side as you age and your beauty fades. The other will not. I see it all the time, Sweetie. You would be one of many.



Sandy :O)

Answer 2

Hey!!! I will be a doctor very soon and I take exception to the fact that women think we're all the same ....womanizers that cheat all the time! You have no idea how hard it is to explain to girlfriends that I'm loyal to them when everyone else is slamming me because I will be a doctor. I have never cheated on a girlfriend and I never will, M.D. or not, I don't know where some people get the idea that we can get any woman we want because we can't, and we also don't think we're God! Having said that I think you should follow your heart not your wallet, and age shouldn't matter either, but if you're not ready to have a family then you're already not seeing eye to eye with the older guy and it won't work. Now if your bf is still in party mode in 4 yrs then maybe he isn't the best option either, but if isn't broke right now don't try and fix it. Who can see yourself being with 20 yrs from now when the looks are gone and you're used to seeing each other day in day out? figure that out and you'll have your answer.

Answer 3

If you are having a hard time choosing, you really are not ready to commit to anyone right now. Anything that has to be decided NOW is not a wise choice.



The fact that you mention that your boyfriend treats you with respect and listens to what you have to say and does everything in his power to make you smile makes me wonder if the doctor treats you with far less respect. The pressure he is putting on you suggests he is like most doctors... they think they are God and you are privileged to be near him.



Also, life with a doctor is a LONELY life. Is financial stability worth living a cold, bleak existence? If financial stability is your main concern, get more education and a better job.



Your boyfriend is still working toward his future (very hard, it sounds). If you let him go, he will have a broken heart, and the girl who helps heal his heart will probably be a very blessed young lady.



I think you need to get a different job. I think if your boyfriend is under the impression you are committed to him, you might need to let him know you are not really ready for a serious relationship right now.



If the doctor pursues you and you REALLY care about him, make him wait at least a year so you can truly get to know him better. In the course of a year, his true colors should come out strong enough for you to know the truth about whether you really want him for a lifetime or not. If he refuses to wait, he will cheat on you after marriage, because he is only concerned with his own desires and your well being and happiness are not important to him.

Answer 4

From your story, I like the boyfriend better. He sounds like a solid guy. Look - whatever you decide there is risk as you don't know how things will turn out with either guy. The best you can do is to make an educated guess about who will be better. One thing that is important is that this boyfriend is with you now and is willing to make a life with you and grow with you, the doctor has had a life and is now looking to get what he wants. In my experience, doctors tend to be somewhat imature. Also, respect is totally critical. Have you ever been with someone who doesn't respect you? It sucks. Good luck with your decision, but I am rooting for your bf. He sounds cool. Partying is just a phase.

Answer 5

Any relationship in which you have to make a "quick" decision is probably not the best choice. By the sounds of it, you already have a nice guy and he is your age. Don't be swayed by the doctors ability to give you a stable lifestyle, that really sounds bad when you think about it. Don't be caught up in the money - just because you get along well at work doesn't mean you really know him. My advice is to stay with your boyfriend.

Answer 6

Brownie I think the most important things is to be happy regardless of age. The doctor sounds like a good catch but a your age are you ready to start a family. On the other hand your boyfriend sound like a gem but if he likes to party and you don't that can pose a major problem. So my suggestion to you is to sit down and make a list , label it likes an dislikes pros and cons for each of the gentlemen and see who has the most positive list.

Answer 7

A 36-year-old doctor looking for a 22-year-old woman wants a girl he can control. He wants someone who will look up to him, adore him, follow his lead in all things, and be nice arm candy as well. Is that what you want for yourself in the long run?



I am so glad I married for love and not for money (yes, I had the choice).



Good luck, whatever you decide.

Answer 8

men are always good to joke around with when they are chasing after you. it seems that he has been able to get you to have a good opinion of him.



"Age is a big factor for me but I also want to be happy..." so you are not happy with your current BF? Or you think that only money can buy happiness?



"One of them is my boyfriend who treats me with respect, listens to what I have to say, and if I am sad he does everything in his power to keep me smiling" you are telling us that your BF treats you very well but you are not satisfied?



from all these it seems that you are a person that values more on money than love and respect. I think you dont deserved your current BF ,for thinking of leaving him to be with the doctor....

Answer 9

You don't choose. You have to tell them what's going on. Then the two guys fight for you. You go with the winner. This method is time tested, I guarentee results. Plus, you'll have a doctor there just in case...

Answer 10

it's a choice between happiness and security, choose the latter. the doctor loves you as much as how your bf loves you. besides, he has more the personality you like. so, there a very big possibility you'll be happy in the end. good luck!

Answer 11

1st of all , oh i feel so sorry 4 you...... Secondly , it seems that your boyfriend has all of the "Best attributes " as far as the way he cares for , and treats you ! And it's hard to really know someone that you just work with....

But , why would you want to give up someone , who genuinely wants to make you happy ?

Oh , you would choose money , over love huh ?

Well , i feel sorry for you !

Answer 12

in ten years you will be very upset with yourself if you go for the guy who is 15 years older than you. Think about it, he will be 50 by the time you are his current age.

Answer 13

honestly, you're too young to start a family.. I've never liked older men because they already lived what you did and I'd like to experience it with someone who hasnt.. does that make sense? but if you like him more then i guess the doctor?.. im sure your boyfriend will grow out of that "party phase"

Answer 14

don't pick the guy who's been in an abusive relationship, he's goign to have all sorts of emotional problems and WILL eventually use that to make you stick with him no matter how bad it gets. choice number one if probably the best dude for you.

Answer 15

i believe that simply because u feel as if you trying to decide who to choose, it's that indecisive thinking that spells you aren't ready to commit for the rest of your love, you're not in love yet because when you've finally fallen in love you'll know in the blink of an eye if you know that's it or not. what's here for you instead is two very agreeable choices which is why it seems incredibly hard for you to decide. both seem very ideal but because both choices seem almost equally agreeable to commit to, it means that you've haven't gotten to know the relationship far far more intimately to know which one is the ultimate one; i think the fact that the doctor's ready to settle down is just pressuring you to make a faster choice down the road than you can take at the moment because you feel as if there's potential but you don't know what's any more unknown about him because you haven't explored all grounds, i think you should seriously wait and continue relating or getting closer to both of them, bring both relationships to new ventures so you can learn more about yourself and both men(which you obviously do not know in full depths unless you knew decisively your answer to your problem) and ultimately decide who fits you best...i definitely think you shouldn't end a relationship where there's still new grounds to explore and potential; a relationship that hadnt met its dead end yet...ultimately one of them will a meet a dead end when you further down the road....



if the doctor cares about you sincerely and is serious about being ready to commit for the rest of his life, he will wait for you and explore himself your relationship with him, to see if it will work out in all aspects; because if he is serious about commitment, he will of course wonder what he's getting into for the rest of his life thoroughly..

Answer 16

always choose your heart and the guy that makes you happy. i made the mistake of choosing the guy that i thought i would have a better financial life with b/c we had common goals. biggest mistake of my life.

Answer 17

stay with your boyfriend, trust me the other guy will be nice for a while but after that you will iwsh you where with your old one, you want some who supports you emotionally, not financially.

Answer 18

Whom to you feel the deep connection with? Who do you see yourself in the future with??

Answer 19

One bird in hand is better than two in the bush.

Answer 20

Choose the one you feel happiest with.

Answer 21

i dont care who you pick just give me one

Answer 22

Whoever can run the fastest......you'll see later ; )

Answer 23

pick ur favorite

Answer 24

WHICH HAS MOST MONEY

Answer 25

which ever one is bigger.