dating a rubbish texter - should i get angry?

Question

So I may totally paranoid - anyway i need help cos it is really frustrating!!
I'm seeing this guy for maybe a month and a half, I think he is pretty cool, we get on well and have good sex, he has also told me he likes me.
It's normally fine as I see him a lot - he always comes into my work (a bar in a backpackers hostel) and when I'm not there asks if I'm coming in. Yesterday he came round and we had a lovely day watching films and cuddling and walks etc, and I asked him about his rubbish texting - he told me it's always on silent and he doesn't hear it. Pah!!
It has just really frustrated me as the other day he suggested drinks, but then wasn't at the bar, so i text him and got ignored :( he text me eventually after he saw me in the other part of the building..all like "I though you were going out??" and "where'd you go?" when I disappeared and we ended up hanging the rest of the evening.

Today I had to go give him his bank card and he said he would ring and maybe hang out, instead I got a funny text, so I suggested a hang out, he was all like, maybe, what you up to? So I suggested something jokey - a weird tv series or some sex? but he still hasn't replied after an hour and a half and I am just waiting around for a text. It's starting to piss me off, it feels a bit like a game or like we are just dead casual, or that he is genuinely **** at technology - he never uses facebook either.

SO the question is should I text him "Oi you ****! Going for a swim and walk instead, laters"..or something inbetween like "oi" to remind him I'm there..or just nothing but bring it up again when we are together? How long is too long to wait inbetween texts?
I just hate feeling like the keen one- I don't want to freak him out by hounding him at all - not my style. But I also hate these mixed signals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And what do I do if he texts at like 9pm like oh, sorry, didn't see my phone - should i be angry, relaxed, or ignore him like I'm having loads of fun? (I wish I was).

Answer 1

Send him a text. If he takes an hour. Take an hour to respond to the one he sends you. Play that game forever until he eventually starts taking 5 minutes to respond. I prefer texting each 20 minutes to an hour with long messages. I usually will see the message immediately. Read it, think of a response. Type it up, add a few nice details to perfect it. Then let it sit in my phone for a bit. Then send it. I know that before when I used to text each 5-10 minutes with mid length responses I would stress out these situations where I was having a fun conversation then suddenly it's been 30 minutes and the "What if she never responds." thoughts go through my head. Then I would get a message and respond instantly making her know that I was just anxiously awaiting her text and she could play with me all I want. So I changed, I decided I would always be the person making the other wait in this scenario. The reason for it is.. I show interest by giving a thoughtful message, I spend time perfecting them because they are words and can't be unsaid or quickly changed, I don't have to spend all day on my phone. Just a few minutes every half an hour. Then eventually the other person will take a while to respond, just knowing that you take your time thinking of messages. The only difference is if they take like 4 hours to respond. I will usually cut it in half or even an hour. Yet if I am really not busy at all. I may respond within 10 minutes, or if I know there schedule I may set times aside that I will respond really quickly and have a nice fun witty conversation. But usually I just use it to learn about the person without spending all day and not worrying about one word answers or questions.

Answer 2

How long should you wait? Hours.. Sometimes a day. If he didn't answer the first one, sending another's probably not going to help. It's going to make you seem annoying, and probably make the situation worse. When someone texts me multiple times I'm more inclined to ignore them rather than answer. It's annoying...



He's not putting much effort into this. It's kind of like a see you when I need you, and I'm okay when I don't kind of thing. Is he seeing anyone else? That could explain his lack of attention. If she's around, he's not gonna be texting you (unless he's bold..)



You tried. If he wants to pursue you, he'll have to try harder. Wait and let him come to you.

Answer 3

You text, 3 seconds later his phone tells him. Not too complicated. I say cut your losses and find someone with clear intentions. It's 2013, if you don't get immediate answers to anything it's fishy.