Question:
Are we doomed?
Amirra
2007-08-21 06:22:41 UTC
I've been gradually growing away from my boyfriend of two and a half years. I love him, but it seems like there is nothing there anymore. I know he still loves me, a lot, and I don't know what to do. To make matters more complicated, an old friend and I just got back in touch. I used to have a huge crush on him years ago, and he felt the same. I think I'm starting to have feelings for him now too. That being said, I would never cheat on my boyfriend, but these feelings just confuse me. If I really loved my boyfriend, would I have feelings for another man?
It seems with my boyfriend that I'm just not attrackted to him anymore. The fun is gone. More complication: we own a house and a brand new car together - both of which are not paid off. I don't know what to do...are we doomed? Should I just give up and stop leading him on??
Nine answers:
nremtohio
2007-08-21 06:40:43 UTC
First off, who would name their cat Taco? Now that's out of the way...



I don't think your doomed I think your confused. Don't listen to the people that have such shallow unfulfilled lives that that have to come here and spout off at the head. Listen to your heart.



To be clear, please try and separate the difference between your heart and your pants first. Just because this old flame came back into your life that is no reason to flush away what appears to be an otherwise solid relationship.



What would happen? You would be helplessly and totally into the "friend" for awhile ya, but then it's going to hit you like a ton of bricks "Hey, I could have done something about this years ago but I chose not to" So when the newness dies down and you have had your fun, your right back at freaking square 1 again.



Joint vehicle, Joint house... whoah, you obviously "thought" you were going the distance with this man. Look at everything carefully before you make a decision based upon attraction? Is it the whole package? Can you fix what is broken with your bf? Have you had a "date night" in awhile?



It's normal for you to have a feeling or two for your old crush, nothing wrong with that, that's why they are crushes.. Know it for what it is and avoid a potentially life changing experience.



Good Luck, you sound like your stressing!.
BranFlan
2007-08-21 13:32:02 UTC
It would be very stupid for you to leave your boyfriend to get with this "old friend" of yours. It seems that your boyfriend loves you and treats you well.



And yes, you can love your boyfriend and have feelings for someone else, it's natural to have many crushes through your life, just don't act on it.



Don't destroy a good thing by running off with this "old friend" that suddenly showed up. Not only are you going to hurt your loving boyfriend, but you are also going to mess up both yours and his credit with the house and car. No guy that suddenly "shows up" is worth that.



If you think you don't love your boyfriend anymore, think in your head how you would feel without him. Would you be happier, sadder, or not even notice he was gone?



Think about the consequences of something like this before you do anything stupid.
ROCK CHICK
2007-08-21 13:33:53 UTC
Are you sure your relationship is dead or is it the excitement of being in touch with a guy you used to fancy would you really want to end a relationship on a possibility that this other guy likes you who's to say it will work with this guy I would suggest talking to your current boyfriend and try to work your problems out before you cause more good luck with what ever you choose
man behind the mask
2007-08-21 13:30:51 UTC
yes dont lead him on. that is wrong but you may just be feeling new feelings cause he is an old crush. but if you are happy with the bf i say stay and see if you can spice things up with him a little
anonymous
2007-08-21 13:28:38 UTC
Yes, in 100 years we are doomed from global warming
ccstangfan2
2007-08-21 13:31:35 UTC
yeah...give up..nice....NO! you are in need of a relationship make over...he did nothing wrong to you...spice it back up..sure you have feelings for an old friend, that's nature..girls are attracted to guys..don't mean you gotta act on it....you loved him for a reason...bring that reason back
David Tan
2007-08-21 13:29:23 UTC
tell him how you feel but not sure whats your gonna do with the car and house lol
the troll
2007-08-21 13:28:13 UTC
you've answered your own question. Your relationship is clearly dead. get out before you really hurt him
Danny_Boy
2007-08-21 13:32:03 UTC
i thonk with some work u can get though it


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