Why is she pushing me away part Deux - UPDATED?

Question

I'm in need of some advice from both the male and female perspective regarding my situation.

My present girlfriend and I dated for about 8 weeks before we broke up for a short while. She was much more into me during those eight weeks and has acknowledge that since we've started dating again.

We've now been back together for about two weeks and everything has been great. This time my feelings are ahead of her's I think. She says she knows how she feels, but she's not ready to talk about it yet. At one point she said, "I felt like this last time and things didn't work out."

Our last two dates have been incredible, but after each one she seems to be pushing me away - texts are less personal, has plans with friends, etc. On the date before last we had the best sex that we've ever had with a mutual emotional connection that we both acknowledge - in fact she said, "I'm happy that we made it there." That happened on a Wedn. and she seemed to push me away a little on both Thurs and Fri. However, on Saturday she was eager to see me and even texted me several times wanting me to show up earlier than agreed for our date. Our date was incredible from beginning to end and we both agreed that it was one of our best dates yet. It is now Wed and it seems that once again she is pushing me away. She has plans with friends every night or needs "a night to herself". Granted it's only been 3 days, but why does she push me away after these awesome dates. Is she scared of making herself vulnerable? Or is there another cause? She has stated in the past two weeks that she cares for me a lot multiple times.

Please opine with your best advice and how I should proceed henceforth.

Thanks
3 days ago - 1 day left to answer.
Additional Details
UPDATE: So, I drove by her house a couple of days ago to drop off a travel care package that I put together for her - she was flying to NY the next day - and I discovered another guy's car in her driveway. I guess that explains a lot, huh?

So now it appears that she was (I'm done now) sleeping with two guys at once. Why string me along and blatantly lie to me?

Why are women so complicated?
2 days ago

UPDATE II: She's now claiming that she never slept with this other guy even though his car was parked overnight several times in her driveway.

Her explanation for the car in her driveway on the morning that I stopped by to drop off the package:
"HER: he just apppeared on my doorstep
ME: Also, I was just a little surprised to see Charlotte tags in your driveway when I came by to drop off your package that I had been working on for days.
HER: I was too
ME: You told me you weren't seeing him anymore
HER: I wasnt
ME: He just showed up and stayed?
HER: Yup - you got it
HER: I was talking on my phone and heard a knock on my fence.


Does she really expect me to believe that or is it possible that she is telling the truth? And why do people lie so patently when they've been caught cheating?

How do I proceed if I still want to be with her?

Thanks for any advice.

Answer 1

She wasn't cheating because you two ARE NOT A COUPLE YET. Whether he just showed up or spent the night is not your business yet. If you really like her, you need to relax and stop stalking her. She will meet up with you when it's convenient. If you can't wait, then just break it off permanently. You're definitely being too pushy this early in the relationship.

Answer 2

Your life sounds like a soap opera. That’s way too much drama. Do you really like or want this much drama in your life? Do you need it to be happy? Some people live their entire lives full of drama, because they enjoy it. Maybe that’s how you are as well.



Why would you want to be with a liar and a cheat? You already know the answers to this question. Maybe you just wanted to say it out loud or write it down so you could see how it unfolded.



It sounds as if this girl is stuck in a love warp. I don’t think she really even knows what she wants at this point. She has feelings for you obviously, but I don’t think she knows how deep or how far they go, so she stays in a state of constant confusion. You didn’t say how old you both were, so perhaps she’s too young for the type of commitment that you are ready for or expecting from her. She wants to test the waters to see who and what else is out there in the world. She’s trying on different personalities to see who would be her better soul mate.



My advice to you would be to step back and assess you situation. She is quite the tease. She gives you just enough time and attention to keep you dangling on a string. She’s a professional player. She is not ready for a one-on-one commitment at this time in her life. Someone is going to get hurt, and it’s probably going to be you. You seem to be ready for a full on commitment, but this girl is not.



So if you want to hang around like a puppy and run to her every time she calls, and then stay back every time she gets cold, then you don’t have a problem. However, if you don’t like those feelings, then you need to back off yourself. If you do stick around, be prepared just in case she doesn’t pick you as her soul mate. I would suggest you find someone who would be more committed to you and the relationship.

Answer 3

Way too much drama, dude - especially for a relationship that can still be counted in weeks. You're supposed to still be in the happy excitement phase, not distrustful (though honestly, if you're freaking out that she doesn't want to schedule the next date five minutes after the last one ended, I'm not sure I blame her for feeling the need to overemphasize that she needs at least a little time to herself). I think I'd move on before the situation gets even messier and appreciate the value of having time for yourself for a bit before looking for someone new.

Answer 4

listen since you dont trust her and you are spying on her there is no trust in this new relationship so you have already wrecked it .it will never work between the both of you .so end it as she doesnt want to get hurt again and you are a very negative and jealous boy once you learn to trust someone and really understand that you can trust someone without jumping to conclusions then you should seek out a suitor but this girl is not your match.

Answer 5

Sorry to tell you this but your current relationship is not working out. I would talk to her and tell her to tell you the truth and stop making lies. Because she really is just playing with you, and I do believe she is cheating. So my advice is to leave the relationship there that way you won't get hurt.

Answer 6

This won't work out.She can't decide on whether she wants to be with you or whether she wants to break it off.Forget her and move on.