What should i do :( bf help!?

Question

me and my bf argued Again today cuz,
well he hasnt had a job in months and he doesnt try to look for one, e have a son and live together and ilove him alot :/
i try grabbing his phone to check the time or somthing and he snatches it away fast
he wastes moeny on stupid shet hesmokes toomcuh andits changed his moods, a friend of minetold me she could get hm a job where her bf works but he needed to go get an applicaiton and fill it out and he didnt >:[ it upsets me hwo he doesnt try at all
Im 18 go ot school full time ill finish in 8 months for medical assisting and our son is two and well today when weargued he pushed me told me i was bit**%ing and i got pissed off because CHELLLO he is supposed to have a job and take care of us it would be different if i knew he were trying but heisnt and he goes out all the time idk watto fc**&ing do:(

Answer 1

Get out while your young - If you won't do it for yourself, think about your child!

Answer 2

You sound like you're at your breaking point. Once you've reached that point you only have a few choices:



1. Emotional severance: So he's not going to do right by his family. You don't have to leave him but you could change how the two of you interact. Show him better than you can tell him that being with a man like what he's turned into isn't at all desirable to you or your son.



2. Leave him: So he's not going to change. If you feel like you can't live like that then get out and find your own piece of mind.



3. Take him as he is: So he's not the guy you thought he would be. If there is still something desirable about him then you could change your mind about the dynamics of your financial set up in your household. It's okay for you to be the bread winner.



4. Ultimatum time: If he's the type that an honest chat will make great head way with then talk to him and tell him what you need from the father of your son and mate. maybe he will turn it around!



One thing is for sure if you don't do anything about it things won't change and the person hurt most will be your son!



P.S. The whole phone business is a little fishy. Maybe it's time for a little fidelity chat?

Answer 3

Hii,

I know is very hard what you are going through but you need to find a way out. You love him but he is not treating you right which is not fair for you. The key is communications so why not try of talking calmly instead of argue? You are a young woman who has a future ahead of you and could find someone way better to respect you, love you, and support you in every way.



Try scaring him a little, tell him you are going to leave him if he doesnt change his ways... If he doesnt i think you should just leave him because you cant sacrifice your happiness for someone who doesnt deserves it.



Don't get mad at me but i think he might be cheating on you because why would he take his phone bak so fast as if he didnt want you to see something? he shouldnt mind since your his girlfriend and theres not suppose to be secrets between each other...



Most importantly DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU!

n remember NO ONE is worth your tears and pain and even less when they dont even seem to care...



(Also think about you child and whats best for him, the only way you can make him happy is if you are happy and even thought it might hurt to leave your bf it would hurt more if this arguing continues and take yal to Domestic violence and you dont want your child to go trough that right?

Maybe getting some professional help would help)



Hope that helped...



Good Lucks=)

Answer 4

I would ditch him if he's pushing you. It's one less mouth for you to feed anyways! Try to keep him in your son's life, though. He sounds depressed. If that's the case try to get him help, but you still shouldn't be with him until he absolutely works through all his issues and you feel like you can trust him that he wouldn't hurt you or your son. The phone thing makes me think he's cheating, which makes me think he might be using you as a free ride. He doesn't seem to respect you, and a relationship won't work without respect. I know it's hard, but dumping him does NOT mean he won't be there for his son if he's a good man. If he's going to leave his son because you're dumping him then he wouldn't be a good father anyways.

Answer 5

You need to sit him down and have a serious conversation. If he doesn't want to listen to you then you have no choice but to leave him. If he doesn't have a job, he can't help support your child. It's also a little weird that he snatches the phone away like he's hiding something. I would check more into it, especially if you have trust issues with him. Just let him know that he at least needs to try to find a job because you can't carry everything on your shoulders. If he doesn't want to change you have to ask yourself if you can be with someone like that.

Answer 6

Tough situation. Really really tough. But it's an obvious answer. He's no good. Leave him. He's a 'bad guy' in every sense of the word. He even physically hurt you. If you won't leave for yourself, at least leave for the baby. Boys look up so highly to their fathers. Do you want your son to turn out like him? Or do you want to have a self (and woman) respecting MAN one day? Something your boyfriend, is not. Good luck, and please make the right decision.

Answer 7

If he is not going to be responsible for you or his son. Just leave. You don't have to be dependent on a man. You are still young don't let a "boy" who doesn't want to grow up hold you back. If he can't get a job, wastes money and disrespect you why would you want that life for you or your son? Be smart. Don't let your heart come in conflict with your head. Love doesn't solve everything. It doesn't give you respect, it doesn't give you money and it won't feed your family. So let him go.

Answer 8

Make sure you get a good job and can look after yourself because one day you may need to. It is very hard when you are in a situation like that and telling you "to leave him" or "dump him" isn't going to help. All I can say is, finish school and do what you can to become independent just in case.

Answer 9

To be honest with you I think you should let him go, i know that he is your baby's father but he isn't doing anything positive for you or your baby. As a psychologist I suggest for you to move on because if the baby grows up surrounded by all this drama he is going to be the one suffering in the end. If he is not trying than u need to keep it moving.



Hope i helped and don't let nobody get you down!!!!

Answer 10

dam do you really want that kind of a man for you and your son? he's obviously cheating, not respecting you nor being a REAL father or boyfriend since you made the mistake of being pregnant at 16 grow some balls and start making the right decision.

am really not trying to be mean is just honesty.

Answer 11

If he loves you back, if he knows you want this, he should have done it by now. Sit down and TALK TO HIM about how much this is hurting you. Give him one more chance... then leave him. If he loves you, he'll get a job, or at least try. If relaxation is more important to him than you, then he doesn't love you. I am very very sorry, but your kid deserves a better life with you than with his crazy daddy and you.

Answer 12

Well, boyfriend should realize if he is not helping you with your child, you should really leave him, I know you love him and all, but I do not think any women should be mistreated like that, and have a boyfriend like that, You have to be independent with yourself and always rely on yourself cause sometimes guys, just do you wrong and you just let it, but if you let this pressure keep on with you, it is going to hurt you in the longrun, Follow your education, and your child, and yourself of course, that is your NEED to be concentrated right now, if the guy continues just leave him, I'm sorry if you do not like my answer but YOU DO NOT NEED A GUY TO SUPPORT YOU, you have YOURSELF, okay? I wish the best for you, and your child. !

Answer 13

honestly.. ok.. people are going to tell you get out while you are young.. but is that what u really want to hear?if his into what ever drug it is.. or cigs.. then that is his problem. u shouldnt be so worried. if he isnt doing anything to help your fam out then why depend on him.. never depend on a man or guy cuz it wont get you no where.since he is at home let him take care of the baby and get your self a job.. save money. and when u have all yours stuff saved. MOVE OUT! if he isnt guna help you out..

Answer 14

Go to a close families house and leave him till he adjusts his self and sneak his phone while he is sleeping cause he is hiding something.... don't get hurt from a dirt bag and he is setting a bad example for your son.

Answer 15

You need to leave him if he calls u un-respectful names and wont get a job and support u and ur son. if u wont do it 4 u do it 4 ur son!! get out while u can!! u need to support urself and ur son!! u have a job unlike him!!! If he does truly love u, leaving him might wake him up so he can get some help!

Answer 16

does he smoke weed? if he does, then that's the problem right there. men/women that smoke weed, they loose their drive to do ne thing (most, not all). especially if its an everyday habit. i'd give him time, eventually he'll come thru. especially now, its very hard to find a job. i would be more concerned about him actually spending the money he has already on weed.

Answer 17

Tell him to change his ways or move out, you can't stay in an abusive relationship especially with a young child

Answer 18

I would tell him you are leaving until he sorts himself out. You can have someone abusing you in front of your son. As a mother you have to put your son first and take him out of this situation.

Answer 19

I'd move in with your parents/a good friend until you're financially stable, that way you also have someone to watch your kid while you're at school/work, dump his ***, and tell him he needs to get his act together.

Answer 20

not to judge but it sounds like he's cheating on you >_> the whole hiding the phone thing and going out alot. But honestly I would dump him >_> he doesnt respect you... he doesn't love you.

Answer 21

tell him you get a job or i am kicking you out on to the street or you just going to leave him for good and for some one ales

Answer 22

girl i dont know what to say to you but this if you do not like all this stuff about him then id leave him tell him if he doesnt try youll leave with your son

Answer 23

If he hides the phone, i'm sorry to say this bout he might be CHEATING on you :(. (I hope your son dosen't hear what your BF is saying to you, bi**& can NOT be in his vocab, yet) If he's out of the house alot, he's with another girl. I'm REEALY sorry :(

Answer 24

tell him to get off his *** and get a job or you are leaving him for someone who can actually take care of his family, much less himself.

Answer 25

well first tell him to get a ******* job or that you'll leave him and never come back also take him to a counselor and if he doesn't get a job than brake up with him!!!!!

Answer 26

Maybe you can slowly approach him and tell him he needs to support his family.

Answer 27

get him into rehab, get him off whatever drug he's hung up on.

couple counseling is always good too.



good luck

vee ♥

Answer 28

leave him.