Ladies, you say you like confident men but how do you define confident?

Question

Do you like guys who are confident in the talking alot/maybe somewhat loud/very opinionated type guys or someone who is quietly confident, showing more subtle signs of confidence (say through body language)?

I am a relatively quiet guy who doesnt dominate conversations when in a group of people. I do talk though, i just don't monopolise chatting time withing the group and add my input where i feel its appropriate. Do you find this quietness a sign of a lack of confidence?

So what do you think ladies?

Dave

Answer 1

a confident man wouldn't ask this question, for example...

Answer 2

Well, I'm not going to speak for all women, but I think your quiet confidence is a big plus in my book. I'm automatically turned off when a guy is over confident. You know the ones that are always talking about what they did that was so great and won't keep their mouth shut. Loud and opinionated people tend to be very annoying. If you're asked you're opinion, then by all means express it. Otherwise, I would sit back and enjoy the conversation and let someone else make a fool out of themselves. Quietness is definitely not a sign for lack of confidence...you just speak when you feel the time is right. Smart move...stay the way you are!

Answer 3

No, being quiet does not mean a sign of a lack of confidence. For us girls, a quiet guy is just either kinda shy or the strong, silent, deep-thinking type. Overly-loud guys can be a turn-off (depending on who you ask), but i think a guy who will only speak up in a conversation when he has good input is a plus point, not the number of times he speaks up, but the quality on what he speaks up about. And trust me, thats a quality that smart girls will notice. If she's smart, she'll notice you too. :)

Answer 4

There is a difference between confidence and arrogance, and between egotistical attention-seeking and modest self-possession.

Generally guys who seem very arrogant and dominant tend to be very insecure deep down, and use the noise and bluster to cover up their perceived shortcomings. Whereas genuinely confident guys don't need to "prove" themselves by dominating the conversation or insisting that their answer is the right answer, or the only answer. However, quiet guys need to remember that timidity is also quiet, so body language and facial expressions are key to projecting a confident attitude when you're silent.

Quiet confidence is far more attractive

Answer 5

Speaking as an older male...what the women really want is not necessarily confidence but a 'self assured' man...someone who is in control of their own life...not loud, not too quiet but having 'a life'.....you have surely heard the expression 'get a life'...I guess that is a little of it........If you are in a good job, have generally good relationships with people, can behave well but confidently when out, dress reasonably well...you are more likely to get a good woman.

Take care and Best wishes, Mike.

Answer 6

Being over confident makes you arrogant. There is nothing wrong with being confident and being proud of who you are. However there is something wrong with you being over confident like you are better than other people. Good luck with that ego thing. I hope the lady you find is just as confident as you are. Maybe then you will understand how arrogant being over confident truely is. Thank you.

Answer 7

You can be the silent type and still be confident. It's not a sign of a lack of. Some men are silent but have a strong presence. I know when I say I want a confident man I mean a man who..knows what he wants and goes after it, has great self esteem, carries himself well and has a positive outlook in life..

Answer 8

I prefer quieter confidence. Being loud and opinionated is usually a sign of insecurity anyway, like they're trying to compensate for it. A girl just doesn't want a guy to beat himself up or be down on everything. Confidence is a knowledge of what his best attributes are the "balls" to use his talents when appropriate.

Answer 9

I'm not a lady, but maybe I can help? Women do want a guy that's confident... that is often confused w/ cocky by guys. A man that can handle himself in any situation with a cool and collected attitude. Romance is always a must, and that' s not as hard as we men make it out to be. Spend a few minutes thinking of what your lady would absolutley love, and do it. Women love to feel cherrished and appreciated. (don't we all) Respect yourself and others, and the confidence will take care of itself. Good luck.

Answer 10

i like confident men and by that i mean men who are a little macho and sure about themselves, can make decisions and have a presence about them. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.. and most of the time arrogance is seen as confidence and later down the line the truth shows up...



all in all i would say confidence is a level below what you would say is arrogance. hope that makes sense - i know what i'm trying to say in my head but i guess it's harder to define in words

Answer 11

It depends on the girl, some find loudness atractive whilst others like quieter guys. i personally find the first type of guy really unattractive, the type of guy who feels he has to shout and talk a lot is usually in my experience acting that way to cover up being shy underneath, most girls i know prefer a quieter man who they know will probably treat them better as well. It may take longer for you to find someone but it'l be a closer relationship in the end in my opinion. Hope that helps =)

Answer 12

I like confident but I dont like men with egos. So the type of guy that you described as taking over the conversations and dominating would not be appealing to me. But the guy that put in his input when he thought necessary and didnt let other push him around would look great to me.

Answer 13

We like guys who can make observant and querky remarks but not bad jokes that are aimed at us. over confident is when you take us for granted and just asume we will like/do or say something, we like to be mysterious and this wud make us dislike you. we like guys that appear just confident enough but not over powering! and if your very quiet speak up or you won't be noticed but don't try to stand out to much and yes if you don't contribuate enough ths does show a lack of confidence which for most girls is a turn off, so let them know your there!

Answer 14

Personally I prefer the quiet confidence. Show it with body language. In public. At home I prefer someone who takes initiative and is boldly confident in bed.

Answer 15

*Well to me.....



.Confidence does not equal cockiness.



.I have noticed that a lot of guys (and girls) who are "confident" or over confident seem to be quite cocky and self involved.



.I think confidence is when a guy can manage to approach a girl like a gentleman and confidence, is when a guy can carry on and/or start an intelligent conversation with a girl.

.Also I think personality is everything, so while you may be "hot" but your personality is lacking or you're a jerk...then I think that makes you or anyone ugly.



.....So yeah confidence to me is....



.The ability to approach a girl like a gentleman

.Have an intelligent conversation

.Be outgoing

.Have a sense of humor

.Be YOURSELF.



......it's not hard.



.......just pay attention.

Answer 16

It's really all in how a girl feels. If we see a man talking too much, we may see him as cocky, or arrogant. But if we see the guy kind of quiet, not to talkative, he may be seen as a mystery and that's a turn on. But, check yourself in the mirror, confidence is something you exude, like sexy, you can't fake it. You either got it or not!!!!

Answer 17

My husband is just like that. Yet he is very confident. He is not loud or opinionated. I think guys that act like they know every thing and think they are God's gift to women are a turn off.

Answer 18

Actually, I like quiet people because it shows that they ARE confidant enough to not need to fill the air with meaningless chatter in order to feel validated.

Answer 19

vain, self obsessed or the ones who think they have the confidence to lay anything in a skirt are a no no for me....losers!...you just fine as you are, keep up the good work, you'll do just fine x

Answer 20

not being the loudest person in the room does not mean you lack confidence. in fact the loudest person in the room would turn me right off.

being confident in yourself, your beliefs and actions is what matters. you sound fine, you shouldnt worry about it

Answer 21

different girls go4 different guys! they say opposites attract. i think the quieter girls go for the confident guys and the confident girls go 4 the less confident guys!!

Answer 22

i like the quiet ones who are fine with themselves and who don't need the approval of everyone else. being quiet is fine, but don't be overly shy. just be yourself. you'll find someone.

Answer 23

i like the shy,sweet,romantic,good sence of humor type that really care and love you not just someone who wants you for sex if i ever dated a boy like that(which i wouldn't)i would dump him straight away

x x x

Answer 24

confident for me means eyes in eyes and no words but we think the same , and i m there for u u r there for me

Answer 25

Witty, but I personally like shy guys.

Answer 26

Men that aren't afraid to wear pink.

Answer 27

agreed with hellforge. Just be comfy in your own skin. Know yourself, what you like...what don't like



and the rest will follow

Answer 28

i think its sweet and nice, hate loud men who dont listen to other people

Answer 29

you should have confident body language, and be outgoing, but not obnoxious

Answer 30

well it doesn't sound like you are very confidant and confidence is key

Answer 31

If you have to ask questions like this, then you are not confident with yourself

Answer 32

you can get naked in front of 5 different people and you don't turn red...that is confident.

Answer 33

i think only 12 year old girls are dumb enough to fall for really outgoing and arrogant guys

Answer 34

assume you are always right and you know what I want.

Answer 35

just be normal thats all that matters!