Scared to have a bf because it seems like all boys just want sex?!?

Question

So I'm an 18 year old girl who's never had a bf, never been kissed etc. I'm really really scared to ever have a bf because it seems like all guys just want sex. I feel like if I go out if a guy, he'll expect sex from me. Even if he says, he doesn't care about sex, I feel like deep down he would be disappointed because I'm not giving him any. Even the nice respectful guys seem to want sex. I want to wait till marriage but that might mean no guy will ever like me :( what are your thoughts?

Answer 1

I completely understand how you feel. I'm asexual, meaning I absolutely do not want to have sex, and I'm worried that one day I will be expected to, be my lover. However, you're probably in a better position. Anyway, I have a close male friend (aged 18) who has told me that he doesn't want sex, but rather a serious relationship. He wasn't saying it to attract me, since I'm probably too young for him. I think if you became friends with a guy first, and then later got into a relationship, you might be fine. Create a close bond and tell him your thoughts and what you think of sex so that there isn't mutual disappointment when the topic is brought up later on. If he doesn't like your opinion, he's obviously not the one for you. Though it may be harsh for you and your lover, you won't find the right man for you unless you at least try to get into a relationship.

Answer 2

Having relationships with others is important to get experience and opportunity to being close enough to want to marry someone. Do not fear dating because by not dating you will never build a close romantic relationship. Don't stick with the perception that “all” guys just want sex. While I will say guys do want sex they also want a deep and meaningful relationship to go with the sex.



What you are looking for is to date people with the same values as you. You will want to date people who feel waiting for marriage is just as important to them as it is to you and preferably for the same reason you do. This should ease your mind and help you to focus on the relationship and not the fear you have.



One thing to consider in marriage is that a sexual relationship is a component and sexual compatibility can help or hinder the marriage. You should explore your sexuality by yourself and understand your desires and frequency and make sure that your eventual spouse is either ok with the difference or on the same page as you.



You should date and learn about how you feel around different personalities. Make it clear that you are not interested in compromising your principles and if someone oversteps that request that they stop or leave. Remember a relationship is between two individual people sharing their lives. Don't give up who you are to make anyone else happy. No one wins in that situation.



Also consider your reasons for waiting. Consider that sex is a very enjoyable act for everyone involved. Consider your fears about sex. Discuss these things with your significant other when you get one. You may find your understanding of the male perspective changes with such discussions.

Answer 3

Today's generation consists of brain-dead people who lack common-sense, ability to think for themselves, and otherwise only feel anger and sensation. The best way to talk to a guy and see if he is honest or has evil-intentions is to actually talk to them over a chat or face-to-face. If he is the first to bring out some personal information about himself like jobs, past relationships, family, and hobbies he could possibly be an honest guy. If they bring up things like sex life, hints toward sex, or doesn't talk a lot about you he probably isn't the best guess.

Answer 4

look, If you wanna get a boyfriend here's an advice: find the guy who matches with you! Like having a same way of thoughts, in a relationship, there are heaps of other things more important than sex, a relationship won't last if youse don't understand each other :)

Answer 5

Tell a guy upfront that you plan to wait until marriage. The ones who just want sex will bail. You might get a few who think they can change your mind, but they won't stick around long either. It's true you are going to limit your options. But it's better to hold out for someone who shares your values than to compromise them out of fear of being alone.

Answer 6

So, sexual activity comes with being in a relationship. Its part of the entire package of being with somebody...emotionally intimacy/support, supporting each others goals, love, spending time with each other and sex. Its part of a fulfilling relationship. Guys have higher sex drives in their late teens and early to mid 20s. They crave it more.



There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait til marriage to have ibtercourse. I'm a guy and I wanted to wait for marriage. I got married at 29 and lost my virginity the day after my wedding. You will find guys out there that will wait too. They are going to be the minority. Just realize that.



While I waited til my wedding to have sex, my girl and I did other sexual activities prior to marriage...sleeping naked, oral, hands, making out, etc. You may need to figure out where you stand on those topics and be willing to make similar compromises.

Answer 7

Trust me, if you wait until marriage, your man will respect you and love you loads more. Yes, every man wants sex, but there are plenty of men out there who don't take it for granted and many more who value sex after marriage and not before. If you're a teenager living in the US, it's harder because girls are having sex now when they turn 14

Answer 8

That's not true I think. When you find the right guy who really loves you, he will wait till marriage because it is your wish.

Answer 9

Most nice guys don't!

Answer 10

No shot. BF with no sex... plz