Question:
Ending a friendship....can't handle being friends with benefits....?
Scorpgrl78
2009-11-16 14:23:48 UTC
Alright....so this guy that I've been friends with for a year, he and I have unexpectedly hooked up. It has been a long time since I've dated anyone, and the same for him, so we hooked up one night...but I told him afterwards that I really liked him, and since then we have become physical in the last two weeks. However, I've told him several times i do not want to just be FWB, and he agreed, telling me he liked me, etc etc.....but then he kept calling late at night wanting to come over, and my dumbass kept saying yes for the last two weeks. So after two weeks of this, hoping that maybe it would turn into something more and he might ask me out on a date and it hasn't, I'm ending it. I feel like crap and wish I hadn't gotten myself into this situation, but I thought surely that he cared about me, as he told me he really liked me, cared about me, had a crush on me for a long time...etc etc. But then after this last time we hooked up he said that he wasn't trying to have a "serious heavy commitment" in his life right now. Should I call him and just tell him I can't do this anymore, or should I wait for if/when he calls and tries to hook up again and then tell him no, I can't do this anymore? I feel like an idiot for getting into this situation... :(
Five answers:
Kriss
2009-11-16 14:47:41 UTC
No reason to seek him out to tell him to go away, just wait for him to call again (and he will) and then tell him, over the phone that you aren't interested any more in the FWB thing and you're no longer available for uncommitted hook ups. Then wish him well and hang up. Don't argue or defend your stance and don't be available for him to come over where he can talk you into "just one more booty call". He's not your BF, so he doesn't deserve the formality of a face to face break up.



If he turns up on your doorstep unannounced or uninvited then do not let him in. And tell him to his face that you aren't interested any more in the FWB thing and you're no longer available for uncommitted hook ups. Then wish him well and close the door in his face. Don't argue or defend your stance to him. don't place yourself in a position where he can talk you into "just one more booty call for old times sake." He's not your BF, so he doesn't deserve the formality of being invited in to break up in private.





We all make this mistake at least once in our lives. We buy snow job about how special we are and how much he has always liked us when all he wants is to get in our panties and move on to the next one.



You have to know what you want going into a relationship and you have to be strong to make sure you get it. Players will do their best to wear you down because the thrill is in the chase and attaining the unattainable. and once you surrender to a player, they know they can get you to give in to them again. Think of them as the cute little puppy dog begging at the dinner table. If you feed the dog once, then he's going to beg everytime and keep it up until you give him what he wants because he knows you've done it before. but if you don't give in to the sad little puppy eyes, then eventually he'll go away and leave you alone. He doesn't try as hard. He'll still beg but he gives up easily and moves on.



If you want a playmate, then play. enjoy the play for what it is. a physical release that is slightly more engaging than going solo. enjoy it because it's fun but don't add any meaning to it beyond the pure physical.



If you want a partner, then save sex for when you are an exclusive couple and not a second before.



Playmates almost never become partners and partners hate to become playmates. Never confuse the two and you won't lie to yourself and set yourself up for this kind of disappointment again.
?
2009-11-16 14:34:41 UTC
Damn. Bad luck hey!



First things first, don't feel like crap. There is no need for it! You made a mistake, we're all human.



You didn't lose anything, you gained something. And that my friend, is called experience! You'll know better next time around about thinking of inviting a guy around. This guy sounds like a user, a guy who just wants the action in bed, nothing else. You told him several times you didn't want to be friends with benefits, and he acknowledged your wishes with no respect.



For him saying that he cared about you all that time, and had a crush, it was just his own way of exerting his false morales he has for you. Forget about that. He wanted the action!



"We hooked up he said that he wasn't trying to have a "serious heavy commitment"



Even more proof he is a user!



Right now, the decisions you are making are for the best. Get rid of him, turn your back on him and don't bother talking to him anymore. Phone him up and say its over.



So in conclusion, you've done nothing wrong! You'll be better prepared for when the next guy comes around to tell if he is genuine or not! Good luck!
blatherwick
2016-10-02 10:02:07 UTC
nicely, they the two have their reward. once you're in a best buddy-courting you may nicely be on the element of that guy or woman and help them with all their problems whether or no longer they are with romantic relationships, mothers and fathers, siblings, something. now and lower back once you're somebody's best buddy they are extra probably to aid you be attentive to each thing and each and each element. once you're in a romantic courting your significant different constantly has a best buddy that they are in a position to circulate to whilst they do no longer decide to speak to you approximately some thing, so which you may nicely be that best buddy or you may nicely be the romantic significant different. The closeness and love you experience with an important different is lots diverse from the sentiments of being a best buddy. so as that they the two have their professional's and con's. :) i think of that's often a sturdy element to stay acquaintances with as a lot of human beings as achieveable. Its constantly advantageous to have human beings you may anticipate.
anonymous
2009-11-16 14:29:32 UTC
Than end it if he is just using you for sex he isn't worth it and i know it will be hard getting over him now that you have had sex with him i'm sorta in the same place, you can do better than him but he might realize that he missed out on a great girl and change and want to date you

answer mine :)

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20091116140114AAHift2
anonymous
2009-11-16 14:29:23 UTC
I would just call him now and say you can't anymore. Good luck!


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...