I'm so confused, can you help?

Question

I was with my ex from highschool for 21/2 yrs. he was a yr older then me, but when i graduated we moved in together and that caused us to fight to the extreme, Finally we decided to be apart after it started to get a little physical when fighting. He's never been alone (always had meaningless gf's til me) so after 2 wks he started to date another girl, theyve been together for a yr now and i was in so much shock at how he could move on so quick! he didn't deal with the break up just put me aside and grabbed anyone for comfort. We didn't talk for almost 9 months and then he texted me and wanted to talk. it was so akward to see him, for so long i felt like i never mattered and all that time i put into the relationship he just threw me away! We were so in love, it was so crazy. but then we lost ourselves in eachother and that's why things happened the way they did! he texts me every now and then to get me thinking about him, then we start talkin threw text but always end up in an argument. I tell him to leave me alone don't text me it hurts and just let me be, he should be worried about his new girl anyways. i finally start thinking about him less and less then out of the blue he text me a fwd or something just to get my attn and to think about him. Then we start texting and end up arguin again. I get angry with myself because i go so long without tking to him, then have i do and have to start all over! He claims him and this girl broke up and he's gna be single for awhile (yea right). i told him to erase my number and let me go, he says he's tried to erase my num but he just can't. he says he always hopes my name will just pop up on his phone from me texting him, but i can't do that to myself. it hurts me because i do love him. But in my mind hes changed and we've been apart for over a yr now hes gna be 22 in november and needs to be on his own and figure out what he wants in life. i feel like we need these yrs apart and not tk to and see what happens. But, why can't we let go! we both say were not in love anymore, so why can't he erase my num like all his other exes. why am i diff. . .how can we let go or atleast let him go! And it's so hard when i we end up seeing eachother on the road! how can I get over this?

Answer 1

Well I'm guessing this guy may be your first love and it's always the hardest to get over that but look at it this way, If he really loved you he would have been willing to work things out, since he didnt and he moved on quickly then you should do the same for yourself. Now i dont mean be with anyone else but if he isn't making himself miserable then why should you? As hard as it may be you have to ignore his texts or change your number b/c that kind of thing can go on for wuite awhile if you let it. Are there any feelings for him still? Do you think he has any for you? Could you ever really just be good friends? If the answer to those is "NO" then you have to be the bigger person and move on...don't dwell



if there's a possibility that things can be ok then talk about it. hang out with him see how it feels. if it feels awkward or like things wont be ok then just be upfront and tell him NO MORE. Good luck.

Answer 2

You said:

"We were so in love",

No, YOU were in love,and you were no more "meaningful" to him than ANY of his previous g/fs you were just willing to put up with his crap a lot longer than the others.

Next you said:

" but then we lost ourselves in each other and that's why things happened the way they did!"

No, what happened was he did his thing, you did your thing and you both tried to make each other be something neither of you wanted to be is why things happened the way they happened.

You are not compatible and in case you have not figured it out yet,he is a player and uses girls like toilet paper, the same way he used YOU.

There is NOTHING..........................NOTHING stopping you from blocking his number and filing harassment charges if necessary.

You need to cut all contact and take time to grow up and mature, you sound like a 12 yr old girl hon in view of your thinking of this matter.

He doesn't "love you" he liked the sex and did not like being dumped and he wants to start it up again get some easy sex on the side and dump you to prove he has the upper hand it is a pride/ego thing on his part.Also in your state of mind,you'd go right back to him if he dumped the g/f and called you up crying, if nothing else there'd probably be "sympathy sex" until you got into your next argument.

He has been with THIS girl a yr so does that make her "meaningful"?

Answer 3

i see you both have a thing for each other.

well, the thing about a relationship is that there will be loads of arguments. and one of you will have to take a step back,to give in to the other.

you tell him that u still love him and if he do too,u'd be happy to let him back into your life. and tell him you hope there'll be less arguments and that both of you will try to understand each other's point of view better. ask him how does he think about that. if he doesn't wish to compromise to this very simple request, he;s a jerk.



tada!



hope i helped!

Answer 4

i've been in a similar situation so you have my full empathy. Its hard to let go of someone you believe you love. With me it took 4 years!!



Just let go ..... an abusive relationship .... a partner who doesnt commit properly will NEVER work.



EITHER;

a) change your number

b) threaten harrassment charges

or

c) go ahead with harrassment charges



YOU are worth more sweetheart .... dump this guy and find someone who loves you, wont hurt you and will commit.



When you do find someone worthy of you my advice is COMMUNICATION all the way .... tell him how you are feeling, ask him how he is feeling ....... talking helps a great deal



Take care

Answer 5

By giving up the illusion that you are actually anything "special" to this guy. You aren't. If you really want to be special to somebody then look for another guy who can feel that deeply. Your ex is too superficial for that.

Answer 6

Oh gosh, this is too long to read! But thank you for the points :)

Answer 7

please ask question...don't tell us the whole story...