Who can help me figure out what I am going through (please?)?

Question

Ok im in my early 20s..

I used to be really emotionally strong and positive, Im not the most social of people...but I did have a close group of friends at school and through the start of uni that I always relied on.

I started going out with this guy, I met first yr uni...its now been 3 yrs...hes the same age as me. Anyway a lot happened, and although we love each other, our relationship struggled a lot because of his constant trust issues and insecurities. He had bad experiences in the past with relationships and just lost trust in people... This really put a strain on my relationship as I had to give up a lot to make him happy...he never asked this off me but I felt it was almost the only option I had if i wanted to still be with him and avoid the fights.... He was extremely caring and genuinely loved me would do anything for me...So for those reasons and because I loved him too I wanted to keep doing things that made him comfortable..

I gave up on a lot of my guy friends...I stopped going out clubbing and drinking at these places, i stopped hanging out with guys....I lost contact with my gfs(although he didnt mind this)...but he would always mention how i never made enough time for him..

After giving all these things up and hating life and being always miserable...i became sensitive, angry, emotional...and dependedn on my bf too much....

Anyway i tried breaking up with him many times, but i couldnt forget how genuine and loving he has always been to me and how hes always been there for me, and it was hard to leave...

Things changed after he saw me so hurt and crying all the time and he has made a big effort to change and now, things are almost how i always wanted it to be...

but the problem is, now that ive lost touch with so much...i feel like i cant get it back...i have protective parents as it is that barely let me do anything....and although my bf is off my back about thse things....when he wants to do something he once felt upset with me doing, i react negatively and get angry and upset...although im not really jealous...

when hes always with his friends, his guys...i get sad and cant talk to him properly...and feel really lonely... but i understand he needs to be with his guy mates...

i just keep resenting how things were in the past, and cant get over it cause it changed things for me...my lifestyle...

what should i do? i dont want to break up with him...because my happiness means a lot to him....but Im so frustrated?

Answer 1

I am the guy who asked that question of whether I will get a girl or be alone forever. Your question wasn't that harsh but it was still harshe and the others too. So I am quitting in datinga girl and decided that I am going to live a life devoted to God. No one will ever be good for me. Thankyou sunshine I am turning into an Asexual now. If you wanna really wanna help me you should get to know me. My email is [e-mail] Email me cause what I have learned here is that I am not fit for any girl and that all girls will hate me and would want to take me away from the planet for who I am and others like me like Taylor Launtner who take care of himself just as much can have any grl they want while I am filled with pain for never getting a girl. I feel like I wanna kill myself. Thanks for that sunshine. You might have tried your best but not good enough. And the others were jerks.This is for Gin. Hope you read this!!

Answer 2

hi dear

u have got so much frustrated first thing u have to do is lay back and just relax for sometime.

one thing i want to ask u what r u doing ?? i know u love him and even he does but dont try to change ever for anyone now what u think is love for him and u have sacrificed so much but after some years the same sacrifice will become a burden in ur life. for this one relation u r breaking up with all at this stage if u r so frustrated u cant imagine what will be ur situation after some months may be.



because if u r not happy in ur life u can never make happy anyone else for long some time ur patience will break out and u will speak up and not only speakup u will scream



i do not say u break up but no need to be so flexible its not necessary to do every thing that makes him happy life is urs u have to first make happy ur self



anyways best of luck



if any case if u feel to talk more or share something u r always for to ur unknown frnd at

[e-mail]

Answer 3

Being with him made you lose contact with all your friends, but he goes out a lot? Hmmm. Reread what you wrote " i dont want to break up with him...because my happiness means a lot to him". That is a truly dreadful reason to stay with someone, you should want to be with him because being with him makes you happy and joyful! Love includes wanting to be the person that the one who loves you already thinks you are ... your story doesn't sound a lot like you two are in love; more a mutual habit that makes neither of you happy.



You're in your early 20s, your parents shouldn't still be having any great say in what you do. Nor should your current boyfriend, who you need to move to the "friend" category. Just be on your own for a time, get in touch with your old friends, join some social activities (drama, art, hill climbing, whatever) and make some new friendships.

Answer 4

you need to rewind to the section where u said that u became dependant on your boyfriend. That was his intent. it sounds to me as though u were in a emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. he made U feel the need to isolate yourself from ur friends and i would suspect family as well. he made u feel insecure about yourself because he projected his insecurities on you. you still are that strong girl underneath hun alls you need is time. youll get back to u dont worry!!!

@hansel Grow up!!! Be an adult. just saying that u want to kill yourself over this relationship is the mental abuse i posted about. it is a form of manipulation intended to get her to feel sorry for u so she dosent leave u. Be a man for gods sake u r in your 20's. how she puts up with ur petulant whininess is beyond me. and good for the gini girl what she posted made sense. im sure shell sleep fine tonight as u r nothing but an attention seeker.

Answer 5

...your happiness means nothing to him...his happiness is his priority...he's a control freak honey...lose him and live...