Princesa
2011-05-29 19:37:43 UTC
He's 27 and I'm turning 20 this year.
We know each other from work, well he's a regular employee and I just work part time.
We work at an English language school in Japan.
I live here, and I'm in my second year of college. I have 2 more years ahead of me before I graduate.
There have been some conflict at work that made him decide to quit his job. (His boss is not paying him his full salary; beware of some places like that when you decide to teach in Japan, by the way!)
His plan is to go back to Hawaii where his university is, and then he will finish his thesis so he can get his master's degree. After that he says he will get a Phd, which I think will take him 2 years, right?
I'm a Filipino citizen living and studying in Japan. I could only visit him in Hawaii during vacation breaks (summer/spring). Of course I need money, so I will save money to go to Hawaii, but that will be like next year on Feb-March.
We really like each other. I know this sounds bad, but I'm currently staying at his place. One of the reasons is because he'll be leaving soon.
We talked about doing long-distance, and he said he doesn't want to give up on our relationship without trying his best to make it work.
He's been in 2 long ditance relationships in the past and it ended up badly, him being cheated on by his 2 exes. Since then, he has had doubts about long-distance.
He is my 1st bf, and to be honest, I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships.
But I want to try and learn, and grow too, to be better and make it work between us.
I was confident, but lately I've been losing confidence in myself and in him.
He is kind of a negative person, alway thinking of the worst case scenario.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I guess it means that he can see the logical/realistic side of things.
He mentioned marriage, cause that's the only thing that this relationship is heading to.
Cause if it wasn't the goal, then what are we doing then? right?
But the fact that we've only known each other for a month makes me stop and think with my brain for a while.
I really am in love with this guy, and I do want to be part of his future. I'm willing to wait 2 years or more, until be are both ready to settle down and live together as a couple.
But deep inside my heart, I am scared, and I feel that I should let him go. That maybe it'd be easier for him and me, that maybe he'll be happier with someone who could always be by his side.
I don't want him to feel responsible about me.
If he wants to commit in this relationship, I hope he does it out of love and his free will, not because he feels it's his duty to do so.
I'm sorry this is long, but I just wanted to give a detailed explanation of the situation and my feelings.
I do want to marry this guy someday, but I know I have to graduate so if we ever live in Hawaii I will have my own career and be able to contribute.
I completely understand why he has to go. I want him to get his master's degree, cause I think it's a necessary step for his future.
he came to Japan for research for his thesis, but ended up not finishing it and doing something else. Last year he lost his brother and the grief I think made him run away from his responsibilites.
I feel that this is a chance for him to get back on track with his life, and I don't want to stop him or be a burden to him.
Do you think I should follow my heart and give long distance a shot?
I'm a faithful person and I know what I want, that's why I know I can wait 9 months or more before we can see each other again.