Hi Sweetstrawberry,
Here's the story of my first kiss. Seems that I was a very timid guy all throughout middle school, high school, and during my first few years in college. Went on a few dates after high school ended, but never passionately kissed a girl; nor had a GF... until my senior year in college.
Met a really neat & cute girl through a Christian club in college, and after several dates she finally had to hit me over the head with a brick (metaphorically speaking, of course) to get me to kiss her intimately. We were sitting on the couch in her living room after returning from a nice dinner at a local restaurant. I had never even held her hand yet. That's when she bluntly stated "Look, I really want to kiss you!" Pleasantly shocked, I blurted out "OK, great!!!"
That first time was absolutely fantastic... it was wonderful to hold a special girl so close, so gently, and so tenderly. I loved feeling the soft warmth of our wet lips sucking on each other, thought that the tiny fuzzy hairs on her cheeks were adorable, enjoyed the perfumed smell of her ears, and savored the feel of her warm breath on my face.
She was a fabulous kisser, and she made me feel exactly like I was Tom Cruise... at first.
After several months of serious dating, I loved her dearly. However, she started getting more and more dissatisfied with me (and told me so) because I certainly did not look like Tom Cruise... nor did I have a tanned and ripped body. She began complaining, started getting extremely difficult to please, expected me to constantly entertain her, and was becoming just plain rude. Several times as we were walking hand-in-hand around a local mall or another public location.... she'd see other guys who were really handsome & buff, sigh loudly, and ask "Why can't YOU look like THAT?!?!?".
The harder I tried to please her, the more she seemed to think that I was a dimwitted, boring, unattractive, wimp. It was as though she had literally transformed into a completely different person.
Slowly, it began to dawn on me that our relationship was doomed. I decided that it was self-destructive and stupid to stay together with someone who did not appreciate me. So, after a few blunt warnings (which she laughed at)... I broke up with her. That was when it suddenly hit her that perhaps I wasn't such a bad catch after all, and she wanted me back... but it was too late. It was over.
So, I ended up marrying the next girl I dated... who complimented my appearance, genuinely enjoyed the special times that we shared together, never complained, and was always supportive. We now have a nice family with 2 daughters.
- Moral of the story? A person rarely marries their first kiss, so don't get attached too quickly to a person. Get to know them first. Don't ever do a random hook-up.
- Second moral of the story? It takes effort, empathy, and mutual respect on both sides of a relationship to make things work out. Expecting one person to do everything and expecting one person to entertain like a circus clown is a recipe for disaster.
- Third moral of the story? Just because someone is in a Christian group doesn't mean they're a Christian, or that they follow the Bible .
Out of curiosity, I did look up my first GF on Facebook a few years ago... she was on there, and was divorced with several kids. Evidently, the fact that she was a fabulous kisser did not manage keep around that guy, either... or maybe she married a complete jerk who cheated on her... who knows?
Be advised that as time passes, some of your friends and classmates will probably be expecting you to follow whatever path they are traveling... even if it is a stupid path of dating jerks, making out with random guys, or casual sex. Resist that kind of peer pressure.
How can you keep your heart from getting trampled? Keep your panties on until you get married. That'll eliminate 99% of the creeps, losers, and players... and mistakes of passion... which will make your life much happier and simpler in the long run. You'll also be protected against pregnancy, STD's, and excessive heartache.
In closing... don't make too many stupid decisions, don't date jerks, don't drink too much booze or take any drugs, don't have friends who drink heavily or take drugs, listen to your Mom and Dad, read the Bible (the Gospel of John is a good place to start), and then everything will turn out fine.
Those are a few things to think about, Sweetstrawberry. Good luck!
Signed, WB
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