Why don't women approach men, or as often as men do?

Question

I'm 23 and because of my shyness, I have never had a female friend, so I am trying to learn about women, and maybe also people in general. I have a lot to learn, and a lot of questions.

One thing that I noticed is that when I was in primary school and secondary school, girls would approach me. However as I grew older and the women grew older, they would approach me less often. Fast forward to the present day, and they don't approach me at all. Now guys have started approaching me, and I find this annoying because I would prefer that girls would be doing this.

In my experience women are less likely to be rejected than men are. Furthermore, they must want sex and companionship just as much as we do, and they cannot ALL be shy like I am. So why don't women approach men, or as often as men do?

Answer 1

It is really, really simple. Traditionally men are expected to be the initiators and pursuers of love, sex and relationships. Even today in the year 2013 most women still expect this of a man. Sure it can happen and does happen that women will pursue and ask a man out. More often then not, they don't. They were taught from the birth by their mothers that if a man is worthy of them, they will seek them out.



If you are a man of confidence, you don't ***** and moan about having to put yourself out there and risk getting rejected. In fact, this is one of the great things about being a guy. As young men, we can pick and choose the females we want to flirt up and ask out. Women on the other hand have to wait for men to grow a set and pursue them. I would think that would suck *** having to wait around for someone to ask me out instead of being proactive.



Make no mistake. Be open to having a woman approach you. Just don't whine about having to do a little work and having to have the balls to ask a woman out. If a woman won't have you for whatever reason, it is her loss and not yours. Just move on to the next one.

Answer 2

There is no valid reason other than, "Because it's tradition".



Some say that women don't approach because they're shy or have apprehensions. Well, who doesn't? Everyone, at least for their first few times, has anxiety and difficulty approaching the opposite sex, and men don't have it any easier in that department than women.



Others say that men like chasing women and courting them. Bollocks, completely and utterly wrong. For some reason, despite the almost unanimous insentience of the male sex that this is not the case, female Date Doctors continue to talk about how much men hate it when women approach, and that taking action and being a 21st century woman is somehow slutty.



Others still say that men courting women is more natural because it happens in nature. Well, that argument has a critical flaw. See, in nature, the "courting sex" (in most animal species this is the male) is the one that does the most sexual advertising and attempts to earn mates through aesthetic appeal. Take three seconds to decide which human sex is more aesthetically focused. By this logic, it is equally valid to make an argument from nature that women should be the approachers, not men.



The truth is that it's tradition and repetition that keeps this system alive. It's why I'm so keen to call the women who insist that the man must make the move "20th century thinkers" - because, really, what else do they have but outdated social normative?

Answer 3

The real reason I think is because most women put a lot of thought and effort into their appearance, more than men ever realise, so it seems fair that men should make an effort in return by approaching us to let us know you appreciate how we look. If you don't approach, we will assume you aren't impressed and don't fancy us. That's why the girls at school approached you but don't now, they hadn't really started their grooming and beauty regimes properly back then. It comes across quite lazy too if a guy is waiting for a woman to do all the work by looking good and seeking them out. Also, shyness often gets mistaken for disinterest, so women might be thinking that you aren't interested in them and leave you alone



But there are exceptions.. some women dress for fashion trends or to draw attention to themselves, and aren't looking for a mature relationship, they'd be more likely to reject guys that approach them. You will learn to notice which women are approachable and which aren't as you get older and more experienced, and some will totally surprise you by making the move first because they will understand that you're shy

Answer 4

Women do approach men! That's a fact even though its so rare for most men in the current society that it no longer a tradition. Most men are not approachable or they become unapproachable later in life. I happen to be the exception. I am cute so, they approach me or I put myself in a position where they can approach me after few glances at each others eyes. Its more about looking your best and having confidence to know when they are interested. But now, people have given in to a confirmation bias and made hundreds of different reasons why women don't approach men like the answers here. Could it be that there are a lot of girls who are attractive and a lot less guys who are.

Answer 5

Absolutely, why not? It seems many women these days seek both sides of the equation. They are just as active as men in the workforce, claim independence, equality, and yet the majority still expect men to do everything in regards to a relationship - initiate contact, express interest, take care of everything financially blah blah blah. Can you talk about a double standard? To answer your question, yes, men love to be approached by women and find it surprising and an obvious sign of confidence.

Answer 6

It's how our society works. If women make the first move, most men are put-off by it. Men like a chase and want something that they can't have.



Also, women like a man who is in control. A man who is in control of his income, life, and personality.



I've seen a lot more women get rejected than men. Especially cuz young men would rather have fun and not be in a committed relationship.

Answer 7

Women like to remain 'aloof' and assert that over men. It gives them that 'Goddess' complex nonsense.

- It might not be a favourable answer, but it's a truthful answer. Otherwise, the 'approaching-each other' scenario would be an equal-split.

Answer 8

as women we are insecure in ways and a girl getting rejected is way worse than a guy you guys get over it way quicker with use we will probly start thinking were ugly or fat or just not good enough but girl love it when guys walk up to us and we want you guys to so go for when you walk you just say .your beautiful would you like to go to the movies but dont sound desprite when you say it say it with confidence

Answer 9

Google Dr. Nerdlove. Lots of advice for us. Give it a try.

Answer 10

be clear in your query... do guys also approach u for SEX!!