I need help with a relationship problem. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. But I'm getting feelings for a new girl?

Question

My gf and I were best friends before dating and then became fwb and shortly after started dating. I love/care for her alot Recently though we have been fighting much more than we used to, especially when she drinks, these fights will literally bring us to the breaking point but so far we've been able to resolve them. Nearly all of our friends are both of ours so I fear if I broke it off I would not have any friends left. Also my gf has kind of started to annoy me in a way, like she's way too co-dependent. This new girl is in 2 of my classes so I see her everyday, we sit near each other also since the first day of class I've slowly felt more connected to her even tho we've only talked a couple of times(and only about school stuff like due dates etc). But it's more than just seeing her everyday, everywhere I go (even away from campus) I hear her name, or see something that reminds me of her. At first I ignored them but it seems like atleast twice a day I'll get one of these "signs". I'm not one to believe in fate, but I simply can't explain this, I feel like I know her so well yet I have barely talked to her. I have this feeling that for some reason I am supposed to get to know this girl and it's driving me crazy. So between this new girl and the screaming matches with my gf, Im conflicted. If I break up with my gf I not only lose her but I lose most if not all of my friends, but if we stay together I might never know this new girl and I can't help but feel that I'm supposed to

Answer 1

There's a great quote by Johnny Depp that says “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”



You didn't state your age but it's probably a good guess that you are relatively young. Most people will end up dating a good number of people in their lives, and feel as though they love each one during that time together. This may be so, but if and when the time comes for true love, you will know it undoubtedly. No one will be able to break that bond.



We stress about so many things in this life because we try to force things that are not pure, in other words, one must follow their heart. We end up being tormented and unhappy when we don't.



No one can make another person happy if they are not happy, and that will destroy any relationship.



For you to seek advice on this matter shows you have a good heart and want to do the right thing, and that is commendable. Follow your heart and everything else will fall into place.



If for some reason it doesn't, then learn from it. Life is full of lessons that we are given the opportunity to learn from.

Answer 2

I completely agree with the 'Anonymous' guy. Your relationship will be tested and it's up to you to decide if you pass or not.



''Be contented. Yes, there are people who are greater than her. There are people who are more attractive, more intelligent, more caring and more fortunate. That's life - full of temptations. But don't be deceived by those things. Because didn't you ever realize that there are people who are also greater than you? Yet, she chose you.''



I'm not telling you to choose your girlfriend but if you are willing to risk everything you built with her to start something new with the other girl, maybe this is a sign too. What your going through might also just be a rough patch. Some relationships get through it and some don't.



BUT this is YOUR decision. Don't think about your girlfriend, don't think about how many friends you'll have at the end. What do YOU think is right? Do you still love your girlfriend? You're doing this for yourself. Not for anyone else.



Hope you make the right decision.

Answer 3

Well, tbh no matter who you date there will eventually be a period where you are tempted. You will have arguments and you will have disagreements. Right now your relationship is being tested. I think she has a drinking problem though. It's up to you ultimately.



Just remember, this period of feeling over-the moon for the new girl, will run out. You will eventually have problems (it happens in every relationship) so I would focus more on these things:



In the long run do you think you would be happier with another girlfriend (who isn't who you are dating now)

Do you love your current girlfriend

Are you just upset because things arn't working out at the moment

Will you regret leaving her



I'm only saying this because once you start seeing the other girl, there is no going back. All you have now will be gone forever, do what you think would make you happiest in the long run. Really think about it though. Good luck.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need to stop worrying about the friends and break it off with her. She and you might love each other but your love is not strong enough to last. You can't think of the friends you will lose. You don't really love her any more. Just let her go, and if it is meant to be, one day she and you will get back together. If you don't break it off, you are going to rapidly fall into a miserable relationship and this new girl will haunt your mind and think she is the Oasis you have been searching for. It is wrong to drag your current girlfriend down that path. So end it soon. Most mature relationships have temptations and so do marriages, but the connection has to be stronger than this, for it to work.

Answer 5

If you really wanna be with your gf you have to realize that things won't always go good but you two should stop drinking i would say go with the new girl but what if you guys start not getting along too? you can't just leave because things aren't going well because that's gonna happen.



Don't get into the habit of running away when problems happen. But if the fighting is constant and there's no way it can be resolved then you leave. You will have crushes all through out your life. It's up to you if you give into that or not.



Stop the drinking and start talking to her about how you feel and your gf is becoming "annoying and too dependent" because she can feel you slipping away. Try talking and not fighting and don't drink anymore she shouldn't either because it causes fights and always communicate drunk words are sober thoughts what you two say to each other when you're drunk is what you both think but are too afraid to say outloud. It's your choice make sure you make the right one.

Answer 6

you are at that point where your relationship is running out of spark and yes, being tested. personally, if you think by breaking up with her you will lose your friends, it seems like you don't really care about your gf but you. You sound selfish in this case, you started feeling annoyed with your gf because you've already set your mind that you need to get to know the new girl. And at this point, everything in your relationship seems so wrong and its mostly not because of your gf but you. Are you aware that you are actually losing interest? I'm not on your side or her side either. But for once, think about other people's feelings too. If you can't take it anymore, break it off. Don't give excuses such as her drinking habits or her annoying attitude and etc. From my point of view, you will never be happy if you stay any longer. Get to know the new girl and if she turns out to be worser than your current gf. Put in mind, its your decision and do not repeat the same mistake again.

Answer 7

Do the bad times with your girlfriend out way the good? Right now all you feel for this new girl is infatuation which usually fades after a few years. Think about it, you leave your girlfriend for this new girl, the honeymoon face fades. You have some regrets about leaving your ex. After a few years, you and the new girl start having fights just like you did with your ex (which will most likely happen) and then you meet another girl who you feel connected with and now you wanna leave your new girlfriend for this other girl and the cycle continues.

When you love someone, you stay with them when they are at their best and worst, not date them while they are at their best and leave while they are at their worst. Recall the reason you fell in love with your current girlfriend. Did she always have a drinking problem. Find a solution to her problem. Do you want someone to leave you when you are at your worst? There might be a time when this new girl is at her worst, will you leave her too then?

Don't stay for selfish reasons because you are scared to lose your friends. True love is about being selfless and thinking about the other person not you.

All you can do is try your best to make a decision you won't regret.

Answer 8

I wouldn't worry about losing friends over someone I was dating. Different case scenario if you were married and interested in someone else. You're not and you don't need to stay in an unhappy place to be a "crowd pleaser". Life is short and of these people are really your friends, they'll stick with you. If not, they won't but that'll be ok too because they're not real friends if they begrudge you for breaking up with your girl. It has nothing to do with them! Do be diplomatic when you break up though just to give you both your dignity. Good luck

Answer 9

Co-dependant sounds like a good word to me, she's relying on you more, Correct? Independant would be the bad word, she needs you less and less, right? So are you afraid she is going to go for the M word? She needs to cut out the alcohol because it apparently causing problems, or is that just an excuse. If you are going to lose all your friends, then apparently you're part of the problem too. Maybe you're just looking for an excuse to go after the new girl, tired of the old one, maybe that is why she is drinking? I think problems in a relationship could cause the other person to increase their drinking. I would love to hear her side of the story.

Answer 10

Ask yourself this "Who am I living for" ? In this day an age we are still so into "fitting in" phase and making sure we are noticed and important being with a group of certain people and all.What Im trying to say is you've gotta make choices where you'll be happy you have to picture where the choices you make will take you down the road will it make you more happy or more miserable? It looks like you really care about this other girl and I think you should go for it because oppurtunities come and go and then there are regrets.Who cares if you lose friends! You make new ones everyday (: she could be the best thing that ever happens to you.Do it man !

Answer 11

I can tell you this: I've been dating an amazing man for 3 years and I love him dearly but he drives me up the wall sometimes. He knows how to push my buttons and make me madder than anyone I know. But I love him. I will always love him and I will always choose him. Even when we fight and I think its not worth it, I'm ALWAYS glad that we make up. I never once look at another guy and think damn.. I really truly want to be with him. Sure there is temptation but when push comes to shove I would never want anyone else. I don't see you saying that. I think everyone deserves to find the person they would lay down their life for, the person that makes all the fighting worth it (believe me you WILL fight even in the most perfect relationships) but that makes you both grow together. You need to able to say firmly, she is the one. She is the one no matter what. I don't think you feel that way. This is my suggestion, and I know this is going to be asking a lot of you, but I truly think this would bring you the result you want: closure peace and joy. First, I think you need a break from your girlfriend. That means you break up yes. But try so hard to remain on good terms. If your friends dont understand that you are doing what is best for you, they are NOT your friends. True friends would stand by you when you are trying to grow up and they won't abandon you. So yes you will see who is really your friend. (but thats good right? who wants friends that would flake when you need them most) Second, you need to NOT jump right into another relationship. You are seeing this other girl as a fantasy she fulfills that excitement you once had with your girlfriend. You need to give yourself time to grow. After some time only you will be able to decided. Do you miss your girlfriend? Was she the one all along and it just took some perspective and space to see it? Do you still love her and want to fight for her? (even if that meant sometimes fighting with her) OR was she wrong for you? and you realized after some time apart you were just afraid to leave afraid to jump into the unknown? Thats all you buddy. But my advice is take a break. Go do you. Go work on yourself and take some time. If its meant to be, there is nothing in the world that can stop you. But if it isn't, nothing you do will be able to make it happen. <3

Answer 12

So you're in love with the new girl and have problems with your current girlfriend?



hmm. Seems like a very tough situation.



So what you can do is this. Talk to your girl and make the relationship better with less fighting.



OR

Break up and go with the new girl.

Answer 13

You're just dating, not married so I think you're taking things too serious. You're concern for

losing friends in a breakup signifies that you aren't that into this girl. Why not end it and try to meet a girl who's a better match. It will also free your gf to meet a guy who really likes her, too. You'll have a few sleepless nights, but will be fine.

Answer 14

I think you're just feeling less interested in your girlfriend due to the fact you found interest in this "new girl." I've been there. You shouldn't use this new girl to escape your current relationship, you also shouldn't lead your gf on like tht thinking she's the only one you want when she isn't. Sounds like you guys need to have a talk.

Answer 15

It sounds like you don't love your gf like you used to. I'm sure you still care for her etc but if you have feelings for another girl I'm guessing your love for your gf can't be that strong. Don't worry about wether or not you will lose your friends. If they are true friends then they should stick with you no matter what happens. Do what your gut tells you and what you think is best.

Answer 16

Then break up with her. It's not going to last if you're falling for someone else. It's better to do it sooner than later.



There is tension, you're fighting, you are not compatible and you're losing feelings for one another. It's pretty obvious you need to end things.

Answer 17

Don't worry about your friends if they truly are your friends they will be supportive of your decisions. You and your girlfriend loved each other once but that love might be slowly fading. Try talking to the new girl more often and see if those connections are real. But remember where not to cross the line where you could hurt your girlfriend. (Assuming you haven't broken up with her yet) good luck!

Answer 18

I completely feel for you. I have been in my relationship for almost 5 years, he is truly my best friend, and like you many of our friends were mutual. We both didn't talk about how we felt so we never knew that we both felt the same way and both ended up cheating. We are now in a situation because he wants to get back together, but I now have feelings for the guy I cheated with.



My advice & what I waited to long to do but am now going forward with it - end it. There will probably be begging to work things out and it will be hard on you emotional as well, but in the end it will be better. If you stay with her it will always be in the back of your mind & in the end you might resent her for it.



As for the friends, even the once I thought would be more on his side told me they were also there for me too, so if they are the right kind of people they will understand & put no judgement. At first, they might to more to her side but explain to them how you feel & how you really only did it to prevent worst things from happening.



All the best.

Answer 19

Wow, you've got yourself in a pickle. I'll keep it short. I think you should listen to yourself and your heart and not what everyone else here is saying. You have to really sit down and think things through. Question yourself. Do you even know if this girl is interested in you? Have you fallen out of love with your current girlfriend? Do you think your current girlfriend is the one for you? Truly listen to your heart and go with what feels right to YOU! Good luck.

Answer 20

If you're taking intrest in someone else then it means you're losing feelings for your gf, speaking from experience. So leave the relationship before things get tough

Answer 21

Ok, firstly, you need to have a chat with your girlfriend, and find out if she still loves you and what she wants from you. You shouldn't bother keeping committed to a relationship you are not happy in. Just talk it out, be completely honest and remain calm. If you guys aren't right for each other anymore, then you might just have to dump her.

Answer 22

It sounds like you're more worried about losing your friends, if you break it off respectfully you most likely won't lose your friends but if you stay in a relationship you sound like you're unhappy in something will probably end up happening with this girl and then you'll be the ars* hole who cheated

Answer 23

You shouldn't break up with your girlfriend because you are infatuated with another girl....you should break up with your gf because you are truly unhappy and are not compatible....but, that doesn't mean this new girl is going to go out with you....she barely even knows you and might not be interested in you in that way or it might not work out....would it be worth breaking up with your girlfriend right now if that happens....thats why you need to break up with your gf for the right reasons....and not the wrong.

Answer 24

Your girlfriend isn't the problem. You are. Your interested in the new girl and that's what's actually annoying you. Pathetic.

Answer 25

I don't think your GF is the problem, to much to drink definitely is, and if you drink as much as her, well then, there is the answer to your dilemma. If you plan to have a reciprocal drinking bouts with the girl you are maturing feelings for, then you are at a start of a new problem. If you and your GF stop drinking, as per magic the problems will disappear too.

Answer 26

don't keep leading your girlfriend on. Break up with her because if you loved her, you wouldn't have fall for this other girl. don't let her keep believing that you have eyes for only her. Coming from personal experience, Its better if you break up with her and have some freedom than to keep living with this massive decison on your shoulders. Good luck buddy xoxoxox

Answer 27

Ohhh that is the worst thing at times. When you start seeing signs connected to.the girl you are interested in. My eye candy, as I think of her, is driving me nuts. We locked eyes the other day. That is all it took!! I am smitten!! I clock in at work, and she is RIGHT behind me. I sit in our break room and her and I lock eyes again. I try and play the game, where I will sit facing a different way, just to picque her interest, and I sometimes turn around, and again, we lock eyes again. I wanna try a new approach. Anyway, I am off topic. Yes, you need to try and work things out with your S/O. If you can't, tell her to shove off and get with the new girl. I wish you the best!

Answer 28

well i saw 2 problems in here. The first one is recenty you keep fighting with your gf, and the 2nd one is you started sexual intrest with another girl.

i had those problems when i was dating my gf, and this is my solution.



1st. well, your relatonship just being tested. Even if you broke up cos of this problem, you still get a fight with another girl in the future, because fighting is the natural ways to solve something you dnt like in a relationship. And i think, the only way to solve this problem is being patient as a man ! talk to her nicely and talk as a gentlemen to get the way to solve this problem.



2nd. well, **** things happened in relationship, and it made you weary with your relationship. you just intrested with that girl cos you want more, human never feel enough with their current stuff. i suggest you to keep hold your gf right now, don't you ever try to get the girl you like, instead of the girl you love.

Answer 29

Talk to this new girl behind your gf back, if sparks fly with the new girl, fock your friends, you'll get more, life's about taking risks and living in the moment, yeah go for it, fock the haters, don't let her be the one that got away.



Do it man, good luck :) and its not like you're married to your gf :)

Answer 30

i can see all the accusation to your girlfriend,and your crash on a new girl.you do not need to make yourself better for accusing your girlfriend,just admit the fact that you do not love her any more.if you love her,why do not you talk to your girlfriend and solve the problems between you two together rather than come here try to get inner comfort from strangers?with time going by, it definitely that problems exist in a relationship but the most difficult is not problem itself but how you face up to it. for the sake of your girlfriend, just leave her and go after the one who you just know.she deserves a better one than you .

Answer 31

A girls not like a car you don't get a new one when the old ones now good

Answer 32

If you don't love your gf you need to break it off. Do not be friends because you are moving on with someone. Be honest.

Answer 33

attract the new one, but don't cut it off with the old one until you got the new girl lined up. Thats what I see most women doing, but rarely see men do that. it seems like a smart way to do it. Ive been with many girls who have bf's and they often say in a round about way that they can't break it off with their bf bc they are "not sure what we are" like.."are we together" kinda crap. I will sometimes say "would you want us to be exclusive, in a relationship" and they say " maybe" or "kind", or "i would consider that" but they mean yes. but not until I've made that commitment. i never do

Answer 34

You should really watch the series on TV called Shameless, you can get the episodes on showtime , it will make you have a whole new outlook in episode 5 when Philip called LIP goes to college and has a beauty of a girl but finds himself interested in another .

Answer 35

its okay to feel this way there ill be hard time in relationships and there will be problems bu if you and her can make it through these problems you will come out of them stronger but if you cant handle her any longer and this stuff gets out of hand go for the other girl she will make you feel better about your self and give you more confidence but be careful some of the time i can backfire and leave you in pain for a long time

Answer 36

that is the whole purpose of dating to see if you are compatible. Take a break she the gf may find someone new in the process but you do not want to stay with someone you have already spent 18 months on if it ends up going nowhere.

Answer 37

If I were you, I'm going to date the new chick. Cheers.

Answer 38

If you love two people at the same time ..choose the second one because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't of fallen for the second ~Johnny Depp

Answer 39

Kate is spot on. Take a break, whether temporary or permanent but end on good terms. Good luck, I hope everything works out

Answer 40

Well tbh if you don't love the girl then I don't see the point in dating her but don't hurt her coz girls are fragile just say to her wen the time is right "I'm sorry_____ idk if I can do this anymore" or something

Answer 41

Do what ever you think is right. Be be 'wary' of the consequences. Don't make a hasty decision.

Answer 42

I'd so break up with your gf

Answer 43

Dump her date other girl

Answer 44

If you have feelings for someone else you do not truly love your bf

Boozers are losers; move on

Answer 45

The grass is always greener on the other side, yes? Try to work thing out with her.

Answer 46

Give the new girl a shot

Answer 47

Time to move on !

Answer 48

Nah. I think the only thing that really happens is say meeting your other family members etc, there's a different energy... Sometimes the neurology plays a trick on the mind through incorrect processing, (think of a misdelivered letter by the post office)...



I see girls that look like my besty nd I feel good, then I feel that naughty feeling, which is a freaking hella preposterous feeling to be able to cushion properly... Basically 7EVE makes perfection all day everlast forever... It's sorta alike dreaming awake... Thinking that's my girlfriend *squint effect* then wondering mega magic n miracles n stuff... EDIT: You know like Kstew nd that movie director... And that KStew is a doppelganger of the Wife to that movie director... Now I know myself that my brain would have a solid time differentiating also... But having compassion there is an erring to only care about those who care about me. But yeah movies n stuff on top of really solid high wishful thinking... The Truman Effect have serious consequences RT. EDIT: Even DP from the CIA, all that intelligence and somehow just officed the heart (left home)(left paradise) nd proverbially crucified the then wife in insurrection and without resurrection. Later was removed from office by Your Boy logging into his body when DP recalled (Helbreath-H) the loop fail on PTSD (sittin in the office for years bra, so don't call meh)



#7RING



Sex is a really HOT ERRATIC PLEASURE feeling, sorta gooeyness in the heart from what I wrote as above... But LOVE is a SUPER SOOTHING CALM SERENE SEA PLEASURE feeling.



Sorta reminds me of a person who is new to using a gun... It's quite easy to check if the trigger is working, and the trigger actually is really delicate nd the bullet will fire out.



Also reminds me of say picturing yourself as a younger person, finding your teacher HOT or something like that, n just practically ejeculating in your pants... or seeing parn for the first few times just as you had imagined...

It's an unchecked trick of the young mind, I don't know why it happens, something like from sorta watching cartoons to suddenly seeing a girl that generates a surge (which remains forever lol) but it's an unchecked trick of the younger displacement of time mind (maybe to do with choice or differentiation), because you don't actually find your teacher HOT, it's more so like the neurological processes in a 20 to 30 year old... About the difference between anger and jealousy... So similar... One is credibly angry(not rejoicing).. The other is wrongfully angry(coveting/ heat of the moment). Fielding. Chemistry. Chemistry is sometimes hot but it's not eternal. Biology is eternal. Some say biology is your parent, but no, biology to me is twin flame, 2^7 etc, the A7E, the A7L etc. Others such as physical... Such as being in a lift with someone, my thoughts will definitely wonder... But it's a thoughts running through the head thing, than I'm purposely trying to think it.



Other instances of seeing nigh on the same girl getting uber feelings from specific characteristics, such as teeth or leg shape or hair style... Instead of having practically a doppelganger.



My girlfriend on about the 3rd time she first met me, she brought her older twin sister along with her dressed in the same clothes as when I saw my girlfriend for the first time... LOAOI. It's a twin sistery thing on that account.... Then when my cosmic sister wife girljokealt potters mate saint angel mic math so long to explain name (considering epistemology n true friends as different to acquaintance effects) terrible sense of humour is she's logged on here at her 7ASIS or CIA desk etc I see nonych n stuff... I realise that 7EVE makes perfection. But it's sorta a being in a lift thought. I realise that it would be perfect with that girl too... But I would say Nonych has an end to it because as above as I wrote it is an erratic pleasure, sorta alike a really kwl train that ultimately gets blown up... Whereas 4OC^7 The 7GT not her sister, even though they are practically the same person to me... Doesn't have an ending.



If there's one thing I'm certain about in Life is that 7EVE at the very least understands completely nd so does my ForevsBesty 7GT GA, White as White... As usual the fielding doesn't get much speech, thorns get literally rubbed under the carpet, the paw is solid to talk about n the TV spouts of bs about only men in prisons hahahahaha.



I'm confident in The Lord about 7GT. I have concerns about other matters such as simply saying "peace and safety" hence I sometimes mostly elaborate intricately, even though the hood truth revealed is hard to see... Sorta alike a train... The light is already at the tunnel leaving the station by the time you realise the train was there... It's a speed of light thing... A 3penny dropping in a fountain.



We all deal with things differently. We are who we are. J&M Marriage is solid, sometimes stuff jumps. Sometimes b.c of media we are almost willing bad things to happen subconciously... But it's in God's hands even though it looks out of place... Although I agree it's solid for they who are disunderstanding of the Nomads/Arcadians who have been amongst us, knowing for many many aeons longer than I have, such as many of the animals also nd the solid understandings of what you're really eating etc.



Angel Sophie was there before the word & before the creation of the world. I have also explained this to Angel Simone. Gone is a rush. Up in the smoke. White clouds there is Moses... He was told he could not enter the promise land... But he was in Heaven, meeting with Jesus upon high mountains. #MountSinaiIsHoly But do they listen?



Thanks be to God.

Thanks be to God.

Holy Holy Holy is The Lord

#GodForever #GodForever

Answer 49

dont be tempted its hard but if u really love ur girlfriend then ull get thro it

answer mine

Answer 50

If you love her ignore the new girl

Answer 51

Simple who do you love.

Answer 52

But it is not right .

Answer 53

You should brake her up

Answer 54

do both my friend