Question:
Ladies and gentlemen, is it all about game?
tan29tan
2006-06-19 07:20:38 UTC
I recently met a guy, I like him, I'm diggin his style and his attention. We get along, have a lot in common, it's all good. Whenever he calls and wants to do something, I say yes, without a problem and eagerly. In my years of dating, I have found that men have a very low attention span for women and seem to get bored fairly easily and quickly. My question to you is...should I start the gaming process and say no to this guy ever so often when he wants to make plans with me?...just to keep the interest there, maybe to even heighten the interest even more? Fellas, tell me if I am on the right track with my perception of you (getting bored easily and women who always are available when you call on them), and advise. Ladies, tell me what you think about games the sexes play with one another, and give me some advice on my situation.

Personally, I hate the games and just want to get on with it, man! But this isn't my world, I accept that I am just a squirrel trying to get a n*t...
25 answers:
Nicole C
2006-06-19 07:32:51 UTC
I do not like playing games either, but I do not think that you should make yourself readily available to anyone. I mean most of us dodge our jobs and we KNOW that we are going to get paid for the time we put in. You do not know him well, you do not know where this is going. Slow down if he is what you think he is there will be plenty of time for the two of you to spend together. And on the contrary this is your world! Especially in this situation! All I can say is take your time if he is worth it saying well I kind of made other plans today is it OK if we reschedule this for (2 days later), will not turn him around. I think you are saying to yourself gotta get it while the getting is good. That's why you jump on it every time he calls. It seems that you would like to keep him around for some time so take some time. If you turning him down turns him away then that is just letting you know that he is not the person that you thought or hoped he was.
Troy Powers
2006-06-19 07:46:25 UTC
I would love to say, "No, just be honest and true. Games won't get you anywhere." But, that's not realistic. There are certain actions that psychologically trigger reactions in people. If you want a person to want you...then there are certain ways to act. The concept of 'game' has a negative stigma, but it's just life. When a peacock flashes his feathers...that's game. It's the mating ritual. The human mating ritual is pretty complicated. But it's also fun. And you can play the game without hurting anyone or being dishonest. Put it like this. Females appreciate a man with a certain amount of game. One that's not going to be constantly available. One that's a little mysterious. One that's a little hard to pin down. Now, if I know that, and I become that, and it makes you more attracted to me, is that wrong? The only person who thinks so, is the lame, boring guy who's catering to your every whim but isn't getting any action because you're with me.



out
iambic_chatterbox
2006-06-19 08:30:21 UTC
Hahaha. I think you're on the right track. We all complain about the games, but on some level, we need them. That's why foreplay was invented. People loose interest. If you know everything about someone, there's not much left to do. If you want to get to know them, then you have a reason to hang out, you have a reason to date, to have intimate conversations, to be around each other. Given, too many headgames and whatnot that some women play get downright rude and annoying, but a little playfullness may be healthy in the dating forte.
kspersian
2006-06-19 07:45:45 UTC
Actually it is more about being able to read people. Each individual is different so you have to learn how to read their moods & their responces. Sometimes I will let a realionship peter out on its own because I find I am just not that into the guy or that we are just too different as I get to know him better. If I really like him though, I will go about my life as usual & be available if it fits in with my plans or let him know if I have something else planned & suggest another time that would work out better for me or going to do something else. You are right that we get bored if it is too easy, & not just the guys are guilty of that. Be sure & complement him & let him know how attractive you find him, but still retain your own individuality so he can enjoy the chase a bit.
wendy
2006-06-19 07:59:27 UTC
I don't know if I would call it a game. But, yes you definitely need to keep things interesting....especially at the beginning when you want to keep the attention long enought to see if there is a real connection. Think about this.....how interested are you going to be if he's ALWAYS available and eager?? He doesn't even get the chance to think about you, desire you, or miss you if your so available. If a man see's too available to me, I have to wonder why he has so much free time and why no one else wants him. I also loose interest. As goofy as it sounds....men are "hunters" by nature and instinct. To keep their attention....give them a good hunt. I think you need to take relationships a little slow at first.....keep some mystery. Trust me, it's a good thing when he starts to wonder where you are, or what your busy doing. It's human nature to want what we can't have. And girl....FLIRT! For all it's worth....flirt! I don't mean trashy slutty flirting(well, unless it's only sex your after).....I mean the type of flirting that makes a man look twice. If your confident with yourself, and sexuality it will come across in you flirting. The most effective flirting for me is with your face. You can give so many different looks with your eyes, you smile, coy looks, demure looks, sexual looks.....whatever works for you. If your not a good flirt ...practice. It's not hard , it a matter of being comfortable doing it. Start with the guy at the grocery store....gas station....where ever you have nothing to lose until you've build up your confidence. besides, men are pretty easy....they're just as eager to flirt back. Its fun! If you want to keep him interested....become interesting. I'm not saying fake...you have to be yourself. But you have many sides to your personality....start showing them. But, yes....too available and eager is often the kiss of death to a new relationship. And do not sleep with him right away. Trust me....I'm all about sexuality.....but woman, you are cheating yourself by giving it up too easy. Enjoy the sexual tension, his panting after you, his sexual inuendo's, his trying to charm your pants right off you. Entice him, blow a little heat onto his curiosity or desire. He will end up spending a good part of his day thinking about you , and wanting to be with you. And, guess what?? The hotter he gets wanting you....the better for you in the long run.
2006-06-19 07:36:57 UTC
Games are a part of dating. Even if you don't want to play them, eventually you are a participant. The funniest part is when one of you tells the other to stop playing games and that accusation gets denied. But really both of you have your games and won't ever admit it.



Games do make things interesting and can be fun, juat learn the rules and practice and you'll be dominating the arena in no time.
Maestro
2006-06-19 07:25:14 UTC
We live in a dating world where everyone plays the Game and I bet most people don't even realize they're doing it. I hate the Game, I stink at it...but sometimes you're forced to play it. Eventually the games go away if the relationship becomes serious...well this is what i'm told...sounds like a myth like the Yetti or something
whoisgod71
2006-06-19 07:27:40 UTC
this is a fair question and one i've often had myself and im a guy



if he likes you or is falling for you, then it would be a bad idea to start a game



if he just wants sex, or doesnt like you too much though, a game would be a good idea to get him to the next level



the question is whether or not you can properly gauge his interest level in you



i once found myself where i really liked this girl and wanted to be with her a lot, she started saying "no" a few times and then what happened was i started to keep my emotions in check, it all got down to a situation where i just stopped calling her altogether because i was afraid to get hurt



she called months later and asked what the problem was, and i told her and she just said that she was "trying to play a little hard to get", i was already with someone new so it ended...
heartless
2006-06-19 07:39:38 UTC
Don't play into the silly games. Just be yourself and do what comes naturally. Use your natural instincts and everything will

be fine, make sure you let him know you're not into games and aren't going to put up with any games either. There is nothing wrong with being available to be with the person you want to be whenever they want to make plans with you, shows how much feel about them.
Brian
2006-06-19 07:25:43 UTC
A real man doesn't need games to stay with a woman. Don't worry about playing games because the guys you like and will be happy with will not want you to play games. When women try the game thing with me I stop calling them, so I can assure you there is at least one person out there that doesn't like games.
outspokenone
2006-06-19 07:44:58 UTC
yea,,its all a damn game....one that i am out of (THANK GOD)..lol..it can be so tiring and emotional going back and forth back and forth.....



men don't understand women, and vice versa....we will never understand each other..because women are emotional and men are logical thinkers..that's why we construe these games to play with each other just so we can get a GLIMPSE into the minds of each other. Its sad that's why some people just end up alone anyway.....it takes too much damn work to get to know someone and keep their interest.



of course its possible...but i think that you should not be so AVAILABLE whenever HE wants to go out..YOU should set the guidelines as well in this relationship and let him KNOW that hey u have a life as well.......and that everything cant be in his schedule....if u keep JUST A LITTLE bit of yourself a mystery to him...it will keep his attention...i mean come on.who wants someone who is predictable?....just keeping it real.......
2006-06-19 07:36:19 UTC
Unfortunately there usually is a "chase" involved. You guys should spend time together, but don't allow him to over come all your friendships and only spend time with him. Read the book Why Men Love Bitches. It is really good and straightforward and tells us what women usually do to destroy a relationship. Every woman should read this book!!!
D
2006-06-19 07:34:27 UTC
it all depends on what type of guy he is, it's true some men tend 2 get bored easliy, but some also love the attention, personally i think u should just b honest and skip all the games, but like u said this isn't your world, but i say honesty all the way, goodluck.
martha
2016-10-14 11:29:06 UTC
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taz
2006-06-19 07:57:04 UTC
You will continue a down hill spiral if u continue the game playing.

If u feel like this is what this guy is all about -then he's not for u.
spudric13
2006-06-19 07:23:02 UTC
Seems you date the wrong guys. There is no reason for him not to be into you all the time unless he has another woman. Seems you are attracted to cheaters. Sorry.
2006-06-19 07:26:11 UTC
1st of all ur not a squirel 2nd u don' have to be other than urself u seem to be a good 1 so keep it as is.. Don' worry it's either men accept u as u are or hell with them .. remember what doesn't kill us make us stronger!!
2006-06-19 07:23:18 UTC
A man chases a woman until she catches him. That's all I'm gonna say.
2006-06-19 08:15:18 UTC
you are on the right track so i agree f.u.c.k the game let's be like the squirrel trying to get that nut
2006-06-19 07:24:05 UTC
yes its all about the dating game
sstooc2001
2006-06-19 07:24:42 UTC
if u treat it as a game it will end as a game ..just make sure you do not get check mate!! and there is no crying either because it's just a game.....
alka_rawat2002
2006-06-19 07:26:30 UTC
don't change urself for him

he will use u and throw you

move on

one day u will be able to find ur mr. right
honey_bear_21_1999
2006-06-19 07:31:58 UTC
Yes, if you want to keep his interest, tell him no every now and then. If not, then get yours and move on.....
2006-06-19 07:24:34 UTC
Your question is very confusing.......but I'll be honest and up front ......give him a daily BJ and back rub and you will be his Queen forever.....we are SO simple.....
Male Sicilian Trauma Nurse
2006-06-19 07:24:28 UTC
Not all people are like that.I would do whatever is in your heart.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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