Post 3 months and I still feel sad after ending things with him?

Question

I am a 21 year old senior/ future grad student, and he's 37 businessman divorcee with an 8 year old son... We've know each other for a bit over a year (mutual friends) and recently have been "on and off" since last October (consistent since March (3 months), I cut if off since he became VERY inconsistent in the beginning)... So obviously the relationship has naturally progressed now, and I began hinting at commitment, but he told me that he'd want to spend more time with me, but definitely was willing to commit in the future.. I even met his business partners and son already.

After a small argument (via text) stated I state I'm not going to wait for me to give me what I want/ need and said we need time “to cool off” since it was my last week on my 5 week business trip after that week... After, we made small convo and let him know I made it back to our state. After, the awkward convo, about 2 weeks later I reached out again (another short convo), and just ended it with " Well, I hope you have a great rest of your day"... Then the next day I see he posted a picture online w/ two beautiful women on his left and right, so unfollowed him on all social media (like blocked and unblocked, so he's not following me)... Haven't talked to him in over 3 months... However, saw him on a rooftop with his friends while I was getting a tour the the venue by a worker, I completely ignored him and walked right past him.

Answer 1

He liked the idea of being with a 21yr old & you liked the idea of being with a man & not a boy ... But you are both in very different places in your lives. He is definitely not ready for a commitment or relationship of any substance. You did the right thing & honestly, from what you say, you’ve been far more mature than him in how you’ve behaved - you walked away for good reason, letting go of what no longer serves a purpose provides space for the right person to come into your life. Good luck

Answer 2

Seems like a very typical ending in this type of situation. However, is there something you wanted to ask?

Answer 3

It takes 4-8 months to get over a breakup, but the worst part should be the first few weeks. After than it should get easier and easier.



The more you think about him, the more you strengthen your brain's habit OF thinking about him. Even just writing this question has strengthened your attachment to him. And it didn't help that it was on/off .. your brain sees this ending as just another "off phase".



If you are not over him within a year from ending it, talk with a therapist. Or you could just shortcut and start now.

Answer 4

Well that was certainly a long, not-particularly well-written discourse. Was there a question in there somewhere that I missed, or did you simply feel the need to vent your feelings?

Answer 5

to be honest, I think you did the right thing - he's much older than you, and has a very complicated life.. it isn't a great way to start a relationship..