Am I shallow because I want to date someone who attracts me?

Question

When I am online on dating sites, a guy will message me. I will check his profile and I don't think he's attractive, I won't usually respond. Sometimes, they will keep bothering me, asking why I don't answer, so I say (just to be nice, even if they are really ugly), "You're cute, but you're not the physical type I usually go for."

And for this, I get called stupid and shallow and insulted. I think wanting there to be a spark is the most reasonable thing in the world, and I don't think these guys would be messaging me if they were as turned off by my looks as I am by theirs.

Do you think this is unreasonable?

Answer 1

Definitely not.



When you're going to dating sites it's completely reasonable to choose based on looks. The fact of the matter is those guys who are insulting you are almost certainly basing their choice to message you based, at least partially, on looks. Attraction and chemistry are essential to a lasting relationship. The last thing you'd want to do is get into a serious relationship where those are not present.



My advice is not to take their insults personally. They are feeling rejected and are acting immaturely. When you're looking for mate, it's not your job to coddle and baby every immature guy who happens to message you. Allow it to be about you and find someone who will make you happy.

Answer 2

Well I am kind of the same, i don't date just any random guy on the street. There has to be a connection, the physical attraction & personality should be what you're looking for as well so no i don't think you're being unreasonable.

They are the ones being unreasonable & cant take rejection very well. They need to get over themselves.

Answer 3

Yes. you are being unreasonable, in fact you are being shallow, don't judge a guy based on his appearances. So he may not be a Brad Pitt look alike but maybe you two have some similarities and things in common with each other. Looks fade in the end, that's not what relationships are based off of and God forbid if they were. Please try getting involved with a guy for who he is and not what he looks like. You maybe surprised.



Edit: Physical attraction is only a fraction of what matters!

Answer 4

definite, yet there isn't something incorrect with that. you have have been given to have what you choose and choose, you have have been given to be chuffed; while you at the instant are not, it won't artwork. there become this lady who become easily staggering, she become magical, i become in love along with her after the 1st DAY - i did not think of that become conceivable. I enjoyed her very plenty, yet i could not stand to look at her. I would desire to've lied and instructed her i become with somebody, yet extremely I instructed her I wasn't involved in her after a week of arising out. i wanted to get previous it, i wanted it to artwork, and that i assumed i could be waiting to love her no count what, because of the fact looks do fade. (and that i had dated, we could say, "B-record women human beings" interior the previous). yet i could not do it, and that i harm her. And extremely of conserving the terrific pal i'd desire to've ever had, (and probably had some reward), I lost her consistently. hear, what shallow particularly ability is: which you choose somebody fullyyt on that characteristic - looks. She's not a undesirable individual (i'm guessing), yet basically because of the fact she's a sturdy individual would not obligate you to date her.

Answer 5

No, it's not unreasonable, but it's still shallow. Humans are shallow by nature.



However, it's rather cruel to patronize people by lying and telling them they're "cute" when you actually feel the opposite. Just tell them you've looked over their profile and you don't think you're compatible. Enough said.

Answer 6

No you're not being unreasonable, just blatantly honest. Yes its shallow, since there's always that wild card out there who charms the pants off of you and you develop a stronger physical attraction for later. So you're only hurting yourself really :) In the future though, try not to be so blatantly honest with people. There's no point in hurting their feelings if you don't have to and by ignoring them then telling them you're not attracted to them, you're being rather mean. Just ignore them then give a more general excuse if they press you further. (I'm busy, I can't talk, I don't talk to strangers etc)

Answer 7

First u talk n chat him for half n hour then if u think his hobbies and mantely is matching with you then it could surely attract you when you will go for a date with him.

Answer 8

You're human for wanting to date someone who attracts you, people just get defensive and sometimes mean when they're rejected, not your fault

Answer 9

Did you know that the KKK highway? Just a few miles away from my Mom's house. I guess they dress up in sheets and go pick up the trash. They should know it when they see it. They get a good look everyday in the mirror.

Answer 10

You're not being unreasonable at all. If there is no spark, there is no spark...simple as that hun.

Answer 11

No...



They're the ones who are being unreasonable...

Answer 12

No you're just horny lol.

Answer 13

your not shallow, he`s desperate and an ***......