I've been dating a guy for nearly 6 months, and as you can expect, we are still trying to learn each other's individual ways. Well, apparently, I crossed boundaries on Thursday, and as a result, my boyfriend is very upset with me. One of the areas we are having a challenge in is the sleeping arrangements. My boyfriend works nights and is off on Thurs - Sat. On the other hand, I work week days, so I only really get to see him on Friday evenings and all day Saturdays (when he is awake). As you can imagine, it is very frustrating for me to sit around all day Saturday waiting for him to wake up at 3pm or 4pm. I tried to be playful and go into his room and coax him to wake up, but he got very agitated and a bit snappy, so I learned very quickly not to do that. Well, this past Thursday evening, he came over to hang out, since he would be travelling home for the weekend. A few times during the night, he told me to scoot over, which I did. When I woke up the next morning, he was on the couch and was not happy. I tried to make light of the situation. A few minutes later, he grabbed his clothes, got dressed and left. He didn't call me on Friday and on the way to the airport, he was very quiet when I dropped him off. I tried to reach out to him over the weekend, but he gave me very short replies. On Sunday, he finally replied and said he was mad at me, that I didn't care whether or not he got sleep, and that I even joked about it when he was on the couch. I was COMPLETELY side swipped because I am not a mean spirited person, nor have I intentionally tried to make his sleeping uncomfortable.
I tend to get my feelings hurt easy and I don't like it when people are mad because of something I did wrong (which I am working on), so this situation has me very uncomfortable. I did my best to apologize and let him know that I respected his needs and would do whatever I needed to do to ensure he got his rest. But, his response was "actions speak louder than words"....
So, my questions are this:
Is his response really appropriate for what happened? Do some people really get this upset over not sleeping? Yes, I like sleep, but I would never react like this.
Is his behavior something that needs to send up a "red flag" - I just really feel uncomfortable right now and don't want to be in a situation where I am tip toeing around my house out of worry for waking someone up.
In addition to having to watch my noise level, how can I best work out a sleeping situation where he doesn't feel bothered by me being in the bed? The thought of having to sleep in separate beds really saddens me...
Should I try to reach out to him again? I feel like I have adequately apologized and let him know that the relationship and his feelings are important. However, I don't want to cross boundaries and seem desperate.
Any constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated.