Please...someone...talk to me...I need help...?

Question

Well...my girlfriend is the most amazing person I've met in my life, she's very caring and sweet. The problem resides in the fact of her life...she's been raped by her uncle, her dad's in jail...and I just want to help her...

I hold her when she cries, I'm there for her all the time...I'm just really confused right now on what to do and how to help...I hate seeing her hurt and depressed like this, and I'm afraid she'll go over the edge one day...and if she goes over the edge, to put it simply, so do I.

I'm 15 years old, and I am confused and hurt...

DIRECT HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED! I will give a lot more info through IM...

If you can AIM/MSN/Yahoo IM! me, that'd would be the most appreciative help I could ask for: (take out the dots in between the letters!)

AIM: P.r.o.t.o.m.o.l.e
MSN: [e-mail]
YIM: [e-mail]

(Don't forget the dots!)

She's been with multiple therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists..... ARE in the process of finding her the right one. She has also been through many anti-depressants aswell, and it's the same story as the doctor...finding the right one..

If you think I'm like a creep, make a new name just to talk on...I just need help.

Answer 1

Support her. Give her a Hug.. its a simple thing but it can mean a lot. Try and keep her busy or fosuced elsewhere instead of her past. your not a doctor/ psychologist/psychiatrist your her boyfriend so dont try to act like her doctor.. just love her and let her know that you do. Leave the problem solving to the proessionals but if she wants to talk to you about something make sure you listen. she may just want some ears that will listen and heed what she says. Try and relate to her if possiable to let her know shes not going through this alone.

Answer 2

Brother you got a situation on your hands,I had a friend that went thrue sorta the same thing.Your 15 so I'm guessing she is 14 to 16.It is obvious that you love her.She has been thrue some very tramatic s**t if you know what I mean.All you can do is be there for her and be a man as best you know how at 15.Let her know how you feel and tell her you are always there for her and time will heal the wounds.All you really have to do trust each other and stand beside each other.Remember this(There wouldn't be good times if we didn't fight like hell thrue the bad times).Peace brother.

Answer 3

I can help you! First off, always remember that no matter what anyone says, your age has nothing to do with any of a teenagers dating. The fact with dating is "experience". Teens usually don't have experience because they are new at the whole dating thing but some have a true heart like you sound like you have with her and wanting to help. A lot of adults talk to teens like they are only in puppy love. That analogy is very true in most cases. I remember when I was a teen and the love I felt was very true and I would have married back then too but I never found the right one during thous times..lol. I still didn't have the correct experience that adults always have over teens but I was very different when it came to dedication and love towards who ever I fell in-love with. The good thing was that I knew what love was and it sounds like your heart is just as true as mine was 10 years ago and as mine is now as well. I dated a few girls that had stories like that. But what you have to do is always think logiclly during any relationship at any age. When I dated girls like that it usually became a drama relationship and when she got mad she would use her problems against me "sometimes". It's a imature thing with any boy or girl at that age most of the time. Not all the time and I'm not being negative towards women here either. It was just a fact with most of the our situations back then. I was there for her more than anyone ever could have but she always seemed to have drama problems too. What she has gone thru is a horrible thing but you also need to watch how she handles it towards you. You are a "one in a million" that has a great heart and is there for her no matter what. Of course you are not perfect but you are more great for her than most anyone ever could be from what it sounds like to me so far! I can help you better than any doctor ever will. I promise!

E-mail me at.... [e-mail].. My e-mail sounds like I'm a builder and not a doctor but I am in-fact a doctor and a developer with property and houses. This is a good e-mail address to reach me from. I always have this address open on my computers for everything.

Anyway, I need more info on a true & specific level from you about her & you as a couple. I also need more info on you & her individually please.. I hope I helped enough for now but I would like to help much more if you wish. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

You have to convince her to stick with one doctor. Each has his own approach to the problem. Bouncing from one to another is not good. It sounds as though she not getting the therapy she wants rather than the therapy she needs. Rape is demoralizing and such terrible violation of a female of any age. You sound like a wonderful boyfriend standing by her and giving her the support she needs. Continue to be there for her and let the doctors handle the therapy. Where is her mom in all of this? You can reach me through the "answers system"

Answer 5

i think the best thing you can do is be there for her, having a shoulder to cry on is one of the best feelings ever (besides not crying) but knowing that someone is there with u and really cares about u helps alot i think. try and get her away when you can, take her to the movies out to dinner, on a walk, to the beach, to a lake or a pond or something, i think being outside helps with almost anything, especially being away from everyone else/buildings and streets and wat not. possibly go to therapy with her or tell her you will go with her if that would help. there are some things you probably wont be able to help her with, but you cant let it get you down, letting it get you down will only make things worse, you have to accept the fact that there will be some things that you cant help her with, you just have to do ur best, dont look at not making things better as failing, but look at the times you can help as succeeding. i mean when you dont help shes no worse then she was before u tried to help, and when you do help and it works then uve succeeded a little :) some more info would be helpful if u want some more advice im sure with some more info i could come up with some more, feel free to IM me/email me over yahoo otherwise my AIM should be hxcwowgfolife (joke my GF made hehe) o but one thing it seems like u care about this girl ALOT, which is something i dont think you see alot these days. wat u have is very special and you should try and tell her how you feel. describe it as best you can, tell her how you want to be tehre for her and make everything better, write her a poem or something nice, not sure wat kind of music u listen to but if you find a song that makes you think about her or makes you think about ur relationship share it with her. good luck and if u need any extra help/want to give more details feel free to email me/im me :) good luck

Answer 6

That's a tough one dude.... first, good on you for taking the time to help her out. Not many people would go that far.



If she's gone through all that therapy, it's most likely not gona happen unless she can come to terms with it.



The down side, is that you'll get really caught up, and you might need help yourself. It's a touch one.



Why not right into Doc Phil or someone like that... I'm sure they'll help.



And i'm not being funny, i'm serious.

Answer 7

man i add you i will help in any way i can dude if you know she is going to crack one day you are the person to prevent that from happening take her out make her try and forget all about what happened. If she is jumpy here is a martial arts trick step in front of and say can i hit you she will reply yes of course move back like 6 steps say can I hit you she will say no then say just stand there it is with those thing my sister overcame her fears it's a long story anyways do some stuff keep her mind off of what happened.

Answer 8

It's always tough when loved ones go through personal issues that don't directly involve you. I'm 15 too, and, I've had some experience with these types of things. It's difficult to deal with on so many levels - you don't want to hurt her, offend her, hurt any of her family, you don't want to confuse anyone - all you want to do is help. I personally believe the best thing you can do is just be there for her. When I go through tough times, all I want is somebody to talk to about it. I don't want their opinion, I don't want them to judge me, or my friends, I just want to vent and relieve stress. Although you may feel like you're not doing much by just holding your girlfriend, that means the entire world to her. Trust me.

Answer 9

oh dear honey, thats a tough one. My boyfriend (whom I love so much) has just experienced a huge loss with the passing of his father 6 months ago. I cannot relate becuase I have never lost anyone but I am there for him, like you.

It sounds like to me you are doing all that is really humanly possible. I know it hurts to see someone you care about in pain and you want to fix things, but she will have to come to that on her own. Being there for her and helping her find the right help is all you can do.

Does she have other family that is close or supportive and knows what is going on? What about your parents? Tell them, they can help.

Answer 10

Hun...there isn't a lot you can do for someone who has been through what she has. Just make sure you stay supportive and continue to be there for her...that's the best thing you can do. She has to find her way through this and with the help of counsiling or therapy, and a supportive boyfriend like you, I'm sure she will get there eventually.

Answer 11

well...I do have the same problem-I feel terrible everytime I think about it. and I hate myself for not telling anyone. I was almost raped when I was 11.

im 22 now. I have no social life at all. I feel bad I know I need therapy but..I really don't know what to my last bf broke up wit me cuz I didn't want to have sex. I never told him about this. im glad she did- ur lucky. support her/be there when she needs u/ just listen that's all she needs/



good luck-

Answer 12

Your girlfriend needs your help and support. Just be there for her and encourage her to keep going to her therapist. It can take a lot of therapy to heal her after her horrible ordeal. Just keep reminding her of what a wonderful person she is, that what happened isn't her fault and it doesn't make her any less of a person.

Good Luck.

Answer 13

i bet you are the best thing that happened to her, i think she just needs something normal in her life like a boyfriend, she is very lucky to have one that loves her as much as you. she's probably sick of going t therapy, she just wants to be a normal teenager with no worries but homework. take her out and do something fun to get her mind off stuff. have some fun. or just be with her and support her.

good luck, hope it all works out. you sound like an amazing boyfriend.

Answer 14

seriously, the best thing to do is just support her. make her feel happy every time she is with you. If she is crying, make her laugh. Tell the police about her uncle and stuff. That is creepy man, i don't think ive ever come across something like that. Give my condolences to her dude. I feel so sorry for her. tell her that there's your whole future in front you and stuff like that

Answer 15

you sound really sensitive and caring. I think that's sweet!



i think all i can offer without talking to you on the internet (sorry, im not allowed to talk to complete strangers...although you're probably not strange!) :



sit her down one night. maybe take her to a favorite restaurant. let her know how you really feel. look her in the eyes while holding her hands and say, "you know i love and care for you with practically all my heart. im always here for you. i want you to express your feelings with me."



something romantic like that



<333

Answer 16

You are doing all you can do. Remind how much you love get her a little gift like chocolate just because and show her you care. She s in a HARD time in her life.



I am sorry!



Lilspaz

Answer 17

you want the truth?



you are the best answer and the best cure for her..



being there for her. when shes hurt she turns to you. when shes sad she turns to you.



your to young for all this imo. but the fact that you stick with her and love her, tells me you love this girl with all your heart..



look her in the eye tell her you love her. tell you will never hurt her. tell her whatever she wants time,space, whatever you will give her..



only time can cure this girl... drugs doctors maybe but real love is what this girl needs.. and it sounds like you have got that covered... good luck i mean that..

Answer 18

this easy but hurtful. i know u care alot about her put u just need to let her deal with it. she has to over come it bye her self. u can be there the whole way with her. its not in our hands. its in her's. she will never fully get ouver it but she needs to compfornt it. just tell her what u think she needs to do. don't do it for her! good luck

Answer 19

Dude very sad what has happened to her, i think you should stay with her all the time. She really needs attention bro. Stick up for her. Cool her down and cuddle her whenever shes in a bad mood.



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Help me out plz?

https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20080909152344AAuoagg

Answer 20

tell her that you care about her and that if hurts u to see her hurt tell her that you will always be there for her and that shes the best just make it clear that she dosent have to go thru this on her own

Answer 21

Well

Talk it ALL over. thats the best you can do until you find all the right sources to get this over with.

Answer 22

Looks like she needs to understand she ain't alone and needs to get on with life

Answer 23

keep trying to comfort her and get her need!!!! she sounds close to as you put it the edge

Answer 24

omg thats SO sad ill add u ASAP

Answer 25

hey ill talk to you on aim. hold on.

Answer 26

therapy. bring her to therapy and hang out with her while she's in session.

Answer 27

just be there for her and when she needs u definitely be there

Answer 28

How long ago did this all happen??

Answer 29

i'll a i m you to talk!!

x0sadie0xxx