Question:
What can I do to save this relationship? Does it even need saving?
cameronzangel16
2010-05-26 21:19:53 UTC
I have been dating this guy for over 4 months. Lately, it seems like hs' really overly stressed and he's upsetting me a lot. I love him-I don't want us to break up. But he's always snapping at me, yelling at me, making me feel bad, smacking my *** too hard, hanging out with people who do bad stuff and who have been so mean to me they've made me cry, not paying much attention to me, and working every day even when it isn't necessary. He's really money obsessed-he already works 6 days a week for about 6 hours a shift along with doing yardwork for people, taking care of his grandparents and younger brother, attending church every sunday, and attending school. I feel like I just don't come first anymore. I believe that church and God SHOULD come before me, but not the money and work and all. Money doesn't last forever. I'm not even sure what exactly whe wants so much money for. And he's very stingy with his money, too-he wants me to pay him back for taking me out a couple of times and when I needed 75 cents the other day, he refused, even though he had plenty of money. I wish he wasn't so money oriented. But I have flaws too, which leads to problems. I sometimes make joking remarks (and so does he) that hurt his feelings, I guess, and I snap at him when he does something that upsets me (not at first, but after a while of him testing my patience...). I also feel like I always put him in a bad mood and I blame myself when he's unhappy. Despitate all this, we have a lot of sweet moments, too-when I busted my knee open, he carried me up the stairs and laid me down, he helps me with my homework, he tucks me in when I lay down to sleep if he's here, he doesn't talk crap about me, and he says a lot of truly sweet things to me. When I'm in his arms, I truly feel safe and content and like I'm on top of the world. I believe he loves me. And despite him not paying me much attention or doing things I want to do and all, he's better than most, since he doesn't lie to me and he's only hit me once and that was an accident, and he doesn't cheat on me. I just want to know how I can keep us from a break up and help relieve some of his stress. I'm trying to find a job so I can help him have more money, but it's hard to find a job these days. What can I do? Am I a bad girlfriend, do you think? What makes guys happiest? Please help me, someone. I'd appreciate it so much. I'm just really stressed about it all and i want us both to have the happiness and love we deserve.
Four answers:
?
2010-05-26 21:36:28 UTC
theres not much anyone can do for you in this type of situation.

i think the best thing you can do for your relationship right now is to sit and talk with him.



but if your being physically mistreated in ANYWAY at all, you need to leave.

like, right now.



guys who physically abuse women are self-destructive and are usually sadists.

they are bipolar and unpredictable like alcoholics.

dont fall for their apologies and their promises.
puppie_1993
2010-05-26 21:28:35 UTC
It doesn't need saving because it probably isn't a very good relationship. If you think it's because of the stress, you can break up and take a break (and if you guys are de-stressed, possibly get back together). Just because you have sweet moments doesn't mean anything: abusive relationships (not that yours is) also do... And your feelings of love for him may not be as strong as you think (many relationships shall happen before you find the elusive "one")
rebecca
2010-05-26 21:30:19 UTC
He hit you. Once is one time too many. That is a total deal-breaker. You feel bad, and blame yourself for his crappy moods and that he snaps at you, yells at you, and makes you feel bad. No amount of "sweet moments" will make up for the fact that HE HIT YOU. Love doesn't hurt. GET OUT NOW. RUN AWAY.
JOKER
2010-05-26 21:34:14 UTC
r u to livin together? u said u wanna work so u can help him with money.dats a no no. now days most guys want the girl to pay for everythin. he is a man and he works hard for the cash. so u can say he's responsible. in everyway. family, work. and himself. he might be thinkin about a future with u, dats why he's workin alot. a guy... me for example. i would like my girl to show her feelings in everyway possible. all the time. i would like to feel loved, wanted, respected. i would like my girl to show dat she cares. me entiendes? but u as a woman u deserve respect. dont let him insult u, hit u, or humillate u. be honest. dont hide nada inside.


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