To swing or not to swing (Safely of course!) ?

Question

Me and my boyfriend love each other very much. To us, sex is only for fun. Our closeness is not about sex. We’ve had other girls come home with us before for added enjoyment. I had to talk him into at first, but now he enjoys it. Just recently, the subject of not just having a 3 way, but adding even more to it came up. Parts of that I like, and parts I don’t. Your thoughts?

Answer 1

What the hell is it with all the 'gross' comments?? What is so frikkin gross about sex? Prude much? Come on...



It ISN'T gross; sex with person B isn't any more gross than sex with person A (I have never understood this argument.) It can be a little disconcerting to have your attention split between two partners, but it's more like sensory overload. Your brain almost doesn't know what to do with so much input. This can lead to a 'short circuit' and sometimes a man's Mr. Happy goes catatonic. Ironic, no? :) This is VERY common and is only temporary once the big brain gets over the shock. It's probably more common with MF/MF couple encounters or MFM encounters.



What parts of it do you and don't you like? Just discuss these things between the two of you and work together to determine the reasons you feel that way. Determining the cause doesn't always mean you've fixed your fears/insecurities, but knowing the reasons allow you to put things into perspective and better understand why you are making/following the rules that you make. Make the rules and ensure that you both FOLLOW THEM TO A 'T'. Following your parnter's rules - even when you don't see why he/she needs the rule at all - shows that you respect their feelings and needs without question. Following the rules builds trust. It's the difference between making a promise, and actually keeping it. When you show that you can keep a promise (he says, "Okay, show's over! I wanna go home!" and you stop EVERYthing, no matter WHAT you're doing to stand up and go home...without pitching a fit or pouting).



It's important to do your homework about swinging and learn what it is and what it isn't. Take an honest look at your relationship with your BF. Are you able to make mistakes and take them in stride, not allowing them to impact your relationship? Do you love each other and are you determined to be honest and forthright with one another at all times?



There are many many things to consider. Please see the website below for TONS of great information and advice.

Answer 2

Personally for me I couldn't do that sort of thing. I guess you just have to be comfortable with who you are and with your partner. I think although you both enjoy the added company now, that wanting to add more people is only going to get worse. Although you may be safe about it, doesn't mean the person your asking to join you has been. This is why it's better to be in a monogamous relationship so you don't have to worry about those types of things.

If your not 100% comfortable with it you should def talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him what you are OK with and what your concerned with. That way he knows how you feel and maybe you can find a happy medium.

Answer 3

I have friends that swing. They are extremely happy. But its not for everyone. Be sure you are both secure about it and not one of those relationships where it will be used as a weapon against each other.



I have had group sex before with several men. And I would NOT be against doing it again as long as they are all healthy and attractive as before. I also did some adult videos for a porn website when I was 18-20(THAT i deeply regret because they sometimes surface) so be sure no pictures or video is taken, just enjoy the memories.



Just be smart about it.

Answer 4

Go for it if it makes you happy, but I wouldn't suggest it but if that's okay with you and him, as long as their are more than just him doing all the work ya'll need to do the work sometimes for him.

Answer 5

i just dont understand this thing about sharing ur man!its not right and if u and him love each other like u say u do!there just wont be a sharing thing going on!thats just so gross what about std's do u not care!and what if ur man just dont want u cause he can have better!

Answer 6

This is so gross. i don't understand y people do this. it spreads STD's and it just plain gross. Ovisly your man does not really love you since he needs more girls for enjoyment.

Answer 7

if you loved eachother, only eachother would be enough !!

thats gross ! why the hell would you wanna share your man with another girl .. ? Especially during sex ! eww. sorry.

Answer 8

guess i am old fashion, i am just a one woman man

Answer 9

i wouldnt suggest it... might loose respect for each other after a while.. good luck

Answer 10

if you dont like it or feel uncomfortable about it then dont do it...you'll feel bad afterwards

Answer 11

this is gross. your a nihilist. this is how std's are spread.