Damned And Divine
2009-02-06 22:22:44 UTC
I met her, caiti, last summer at my girlfriends now ex girlfriends house. At first i had pretty much no interest in her at all the only thing i knew about her was what anyone that went to our school and in our grade would know and that my best friend travis of like 7 years had a huge crush on her. So once school starts she starts hanging out with me and travis more and I become friends with her. Then after about 2 or 3 months I start to develop a crush on her and we start flirting a lot and i mean a lot i mean I'm naturally a really flirtatious guy with all my friends but we seemed to flirt a little more than usual.I notice this and try to stop but stupidly don't. Then sometime in december she tells me she likes me at first i get really excited but that only lasted a split second because travis still liked her and she already knows i like her and she keeps telling me online that she really wants to go out with me but i just couldn't,t because i didn't want to lose my friendship with travis. and then one day at school travis comes up to me and tells me striaght out "Your not my friend anymore." So we went a few months with out being friends then we become friends again in late january and me and caiti are still not going out but were practically going out because we hold hands and hug and cuddle and share the occasional kiss but since neither one of us has asked eachother out technically were not dating. OK so now that you know the background info heres where mine and caitis relationship problem starts I keep pointing out how were not dating and im pretty sure it bothers her so ive been planning on asking her out but there hasnt really been the right moment to do it lately so i think shes getting more and more annoyed by that and then i think im being a little too affectionate like whenever we hang out i hold her hand and hug her constatnly and am just all over her and im also the one always saying the like sweet romantic type stuff and she seems kind of distant except for when we talk online then she says stuff like that so its really confusing and then shes always flirting with other guys like joke flirting where she makes jokes out of it but it still gets me really jealous and i feel really akward saying stuff about it to my friends who are the ones shes doing it with because they know me as the relaxed mellowed out joker who never gets insulted and never picks a fight with anyone which for the most part is true but when i see her acting the way she does with another guy i just start filling up with rage and i dont want to scare her or my friends by getting mad because usually when i get mad like at home i just totally flip out and go insane and noone knows me like that but my family and just like 2 or 3 of my closest friends and then sometimes the thought that shes cheating on me creeps into my mind and i admit im normally a little paranoid and it didnt help that my last girlfriend cheated on me. And also i love her and i know i do because ive had other relationships where i thought i was in love but ive never had this strong of feelings for anyone before and i know its not just lust because we havent made out or anything like that yet and im ok with that im happy enough just being with her and since i was the first guy she kissed im even more cautious with our physical relationship then usual. Im really confused with all this because normally im really good with girls but with caiti im nervous and i always get that giddy butterfly feeling when ever i see her or even think of her. So to sum it all up Why is she being so distant except for online?
How do i keep from smothering her with affection?
How do i get her to stop flirting so much with guys?