I am baptist, my girlfriend is catholic. When it comes time to marry, we both would want the opposite church.?

Question

I really like her, and i want to work at it. But, i am not going to get married in a catholic church, i want to get married in the baptist church. Is it worth trying? If she is adamant in remaining catholic.

Answer 1

So you're at an impasse. If you can't overcome it, you SHOULDN'T get married because frankly, choosing the church you get married in is the easiest part of working out an interfaith marriage.



If you REALLY want to make this work, then the two of you, as a couple, should take a class about Catholicism (it's called RCIA and it's free at her church) and then also take a class about your religion, if one exists. If not, perhaps your preacher can recommend some books that you can read together about the origins and beliefs of whatever kind of Baptist you are. When both of you have a comprehensive understanding about each other's religion, you will see what you have in common and you will be able to determine if this relationship can work.



Some things to keep in mind:



1. She wants to marry in the Catholic Church because Holy Matrimony is a sacrament for Catholics (like baptism, delivering grace to us from the Lord). It's not a sacrament for Baptists.



2. In the US, most couples marry in the bride's church.



3. If you do get married, she'll need dispensation to marry a non-Catholic, but that's easy to get.



4. She will have to make a solemn vow to raise the children Catholic. Since you aren't Catholic, you don't have to make this promise, however, you do have to agree to let her raise the kids Catholic and you have to promise to not prevent her from going to Mass and giving the kids their sacraments (Baptism, Confirmation, Communion, etc.). You can also teach them about the Baptist faith; you just can't work against Catholicism.



5. As a Catholic, your wife will want to (and be obligated to) uphold all the teachings of the Church, which includes not using birth control, being open to life, going to Mass every Sunday and other Holy Days, etc. She can also go to church with you (indeed, you should both go to both), but she can't receive Communion at your church when/if they have it, and you can't receive the Holy Eucharist in the Catholic Church.

Answer 2

You can go to both but can't be a member of both. Catholics will be glad to have you visit. You may get flak from the Baptists that you know regarding attendance of a Catholic Church. Baptists are usually severely anti-Catholic. You will get to see first hand that the accusations are not true. Catholics are usually very tolerant of all other forms of Christianity. You do not have to kneel during the Liturgy (Mass) if you object. You will find there is a lot more scripture in the "service" than any other form of Christianity but it is also much more formal. I hope you enjoy you visit, and wish you all the best!

Answer 3

This may seem strange but here is my experience.

Im a recovering addict and the 12 steps work for the individual but we also have 12 traditions that are guidelines to keep us able to work together for a common purpose (hosting meetings so those that still suffer can find us) One of the traditions state that "every group ought to be atonomous except in matters affecting other groups or (AA, NA) as a whole". The meaning within the groups wont help you much but in real life what this means is.... outside of hurting anyone else, I can do whatever I want and so can everyone else, right up until the point where I infringe on anothers right to do so or they infringe on mine. An example would be... if I decide today that I no longer want to eat meat, I have the absolute right to do that. What I dont have a right to do is go home, throw out all the meat and tell my fiancee that he is now a vegetarian. So, for you, she has every right to believe and practice her faith any way she chooses, right up to the point where it infringes on your right to do the same. The way I see it, if you guys are going to live a life together (and raise children maybe) then you had better learn how to respect each others different beliefs and compromise.

Im sure there is some kind of middle ground. IF you are expecting to marry her and her to convert to Baptist, you are wasting your time and it is completely unfair of you to do that to her. Her faith is her own and she is entitled to it. Every bit as much as you are.

Answer 4

Have your minister and her priest get together and figure out a service that will satisfy both of them - and both of you. Then have both of them officiate, while you get married in a park.



Edit: Or have the 2 clergy get together and figure out why the building doesn't make a difference - it's the fact that you two want to commit to each other. Then listen to their explanations, and take them to heart. Focus on what's important here, not the trappings and drivel.



Edit 2: One thing you HAVE to do here: work out any details NOW about how you will raise any kids. The # 1 reason that married people divorce is money. The #2 reason is differences in religion. You need to work this issue out NOW, and figure out how you will deal with it through the marriage.



Catholics require premarital counseling before they'll allow a marriage. Even if you don't get married in that church, GO FOR THE COUNSELING. It will make you address things and consider things that you may not have thought about.

Answer 5

Hmm , baptist vs. catholic church. In that case why not a Baptist Catholic Church? Something like this http://www.sjboc.org/ St John the Baptist Catholic Church.

Answer 6

Well, Jesus is quoted in the Bible as saying "In my Father's house, there are many mansions." I am Catholic, but I would think the Almighty provides many different roads that lead to His house.



After all, God is God, and both of you agree that Jesus is the Son of God, born of a virgin, had a ministry, was put to death and resurrected three days days later, whether He is worshiped in Catholic Mass or a Baptist service, right?



There is no reason why the two of you cannot each go to your respective churches on a Sunday, or you could each go to both services, as long as your agree to disagree about the particulars.

Answer 7

No offense, but it's not the grooms decision. It's the bride's family's. She's catholic so you my friend are getting married in a catholic church. Basically the groom just has to show up and say "I do." They aren't generally a huge part of the planning. Besides.... We are bros and sistas in Christ right? denomination is a difference without a distinction.

Answer 8

The Catholic Church allows marriage between Catholics and non-Catholics. You do nothave to convert.



Here is a good article with suggestions on how to help an interchurch marriage succeed: http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0690.asp



For more information, see the Catechism of the Catholic Church, sections 1633-1637: http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2chpt3art7.shtml#1633



With love in Christ.

Answer 9

What we call a Baptist or Catholic or whatever other religion you want is inly formal, how many of us live the Word and Truth? Many of us are Christians or Catholics only with the name ,not with their living lives , so .. in my opinion, would be good for everyone to examine herself and see if you really live the doctrine of your own religion, if you respect the Word of God , and only then talk about the principles of one or another about compromise and about decisions.Remeber all, God doesn't stay in religion .

Answer 10

I had this problem we discussed this and we got married by my Roman priest, but her Baptist minister did the sermon. We had a mixture of my more traditional hymns sung to organ and her more modern to her worship band. After the service, (which was a nuptual mass) we had the reception in her Baptist church's hall.



Plus the Roman church was in a better location and was much prettier to look at then her modern baptist hall

Answer 11

How bout getting married in a catholic church with a baptist minister? Don't think they would let that slide but it's a good try.

Answer 12

I would recommend an outside wedding or a civil marriage. When it comes to getting married these two options may be the best options. This way there will be no church involved and you all can remain to you respective churches.

Answer 13

I never got why it was so important what church you go to. I am a christian, but this decision seems to always be about pleasing the family. Honestly what wedding you guys have should be what makes you guys happy. If you can't reach an agreement then maybe go with neither type of ceremony? I know that is blasphemous, but does it really matter that much? The important thing is the union between you and your wife in front of god. That to me is really all that matters and everything else is kind of trivial man made traditions.

Answer 14

Baptists should really only marry other baptists because it's important to share common beliefs about Jesus and God. It's really not possible to compromise on such an issue if both sides strongly insist on their own beliefs. Your kids would end up confused. Not good.

Answer 15

Religion should not be a barrier. If you really love her and she really loves you, discuss the possibilities. If NOT getting married in the other's church is that important to both of you, consider getting married somewhere else entirely. Also consider having two ceremonies.

Answer 16

If you two can't compromise when it comes to the wedding, you won't be able to compromise later on in life when it comes to everything else. God will be there no matter what darn church your in, give her the wedding of her dreams, or try a compromise.

Answer 17

well i always say "a house can never stand with two religions". you two must work things out to where there will be only one religion. or else, your family will be divided, which causes more pain than its worth. i have always thought if you can't beat them, go neutral. if both of you cant join the other church, just go inactive of your own with her. hope his helps!

Answer 18

Have a civil marriage through the court, that way you're both satisfied.

Answer 19

why not do a nice hotel or outside wedding?

Answer 20

Just don't get married, easy

Answer 21

Get married in neither...