Am i in the wrong for being upset about him watching porn?

Question

We have been together for nearly 3 years now, about a year or so ago I noticed that he watched porn on his phone and made a comment about it to him. I wasn't ipset because we had a long distance relationship. But recently we moved in together, and I went thru his phone one day (which he said is okay) and i noticed he has watched it a lot in the past week, this in its self upset me a lot. I don't have a good self image of my self, I've put on weight and so knowing that he gets off to skinny prettier girls then me breaks my heart. He goes to bed a lot later then I do, I always try and want to have sex but he always tells me "later". I mean we do have sex like 2-3 times a week, but I can't say anything about finding the porn because i snooped thru his phone. I feel really unwanted and that I'm
Not good enough because he would rather have sex with some lose wh**e . My best friend thinks that I'm over reacting and it shouldn't be a big deal, but I can't help to be really upset about this

Answer 1

Have an honest chat to him about how it makes you sad that he watches porn instead of having sex with you. It's probably best not to tell him to stop altogether, just tell him that you would enjoy it if he uses some of that energy on you.

Keep in mind he may be watching it because he's not happy about something in your sex life- be prepared for that and leave it open for discussion.

Answer 2

2-3 times per week is a healthy amount of sex for a couple,certainly not something to be concerned about or feel rejected over and men see porn as a quick fix,it helps them get off quickly without the effort of actual sex where he would want to spend time satisfying you so porn works when a guy is tired and just wants to get it over with,lots of women do the same too.



If you demand that he stops watching it chances are he will just do it behind your back anyway and then you will feel worse about it,those girls are not better than you and I know very few men who would actually want to have sex with a girl who had been seen by thousands of people naked and had sex with multiple men on camera.



Most men would not actually want to touch a woman like that and it does not mean he finds you less attractive either,the porn industry just tends to recruit skinny women for the most part and guys take whatever is easy to accsess because as I say it is a quick fix.



Plus porn is pure fantasy,I would actually prefer my husband to be looking at stunning women than ones who looked like average women who he could see anywhere in 'real life' because it demonstrates that it is about fantasy and not realistic possibility.



Personally I enjoy watching it myself both alone and with him,I would never allow it to take over or be the major factor in what provokes sex between us but it is fun to watch together sometimes and it is a shame if he wont let you join him but perhaps he thinks you would get jealous and be upset and angry.



I would watch some on your own,choose something that you feel comfortable with and that focuses on a story line because they tend to be less smutty and more erotic and you are focusing more on what is going on than the actual people in them which might work better for you if you are not sure about it.



Then you can tell him later that you watched it and see if his opinion on you joining him changes once he knows you are not going to get upset.

Answer 3

I think you're just paranoid. Most every guy watches porn. My bf watches porn. I watch it with him to see what he's into, but I watch what she does in the vid, not how she looks. Then I try that type of stuff in bed n he seems like he's pretty happy with it. Now we scroll through and look for more things to do together.

Answer 4

You're not over reacting! I actually just went through this. Put your foot down and tell him porn or me. I personally think it's gross especially to be in the house and he's watching porn. So giving him the trump card has worked out in my favor. We now have sex almost everyday, and we too were having sex 2-3x a week. But it's because they're jacking off!!

Answer 5

Tell him that you want a more sexual relationship because you have needs, if not you need to break up because he's not making effort and you'll continue to feel this way.