ANswer this please, im new to relationships and im hitting a stump that i cant get through. im young, help!!?

Question

Hey ppl, if you dont want to read all this then just skip to the bottom and read the numbered paragraphs, i added all the additional info because i want yall to understand where im coming from. im 15 and i can possibly get a GF but i was never a good BF in the past. I never called them or made plans on the weekend, i just saw them in school, which is y they probably left me. I was never a really social person. i wish i was cause that will help me be a better BF. its wierd cause i can talk to girl and joke with her but if the conversation escalates to dating then my heart drops and i feel an intense nervous feeling that actually hurts my stomach. i dont no y. To b honest im kinda a flirt with girls but like i said, i go dead wen it comes to dating. for example in 6th grade i talked to this girl, and we got to be good friends, laughing and jokink, but wen i asked her out, everything went down hill. i couldnt talk to her like i use to. i had to talk to her as my GF not a friend. eventually i was dumped. how do i become a good boyfriend. are there certain stuff that i have to do like walking her to her class and stuff. another wierd trait that i have is that i can get close to a girl, like biting her in a flirtacious way, as a friend of course, but wen i go out with a girl, i get very nervous wen i try to get close to her. i sort of have an embarassed feeling. its wierd i cant explain it. another thing i realized is that boys go out with girls within their circle of friends, and thats how they hang out, in ppls houses. me in the other hand, i dont belong to a "circle of friends" i jut have 4 0r 5 quality friends, which is fine by me, but if i go out with this girl that i have in mind, how am i suppose to hang out with her outside of school on weekends or something. thats the main problem that im trying to fix. i dont drive yet and i nerver have a ride, and cause i dont belong in a group of friends that revolve around dating, its hard to hang out with her. Personally i prefer hanging out wit her with a group of ppl, then pull her out occasionally to get close to her, i just feel more comfortable doing that because if its just her and i, then all the focus will be on each other, and since im not good with girls wen im going out with them, it will be harder for me to start a convo or to get close to her. i apologize if this is to much, i just need seriouse help or advice. Relaxing or going with the flow is alot easier said than done.
here is a list of problems that i need help to fix
1. how to overcome the intense nervous pain within me wen im trying to get close to a girl that im going out with.

2. how to hang out with her outside of school, since i cant drive, or have a ride, or house to hang out at since we both dont belong in groups, and the fact that we cant hang out at our own houses.

3. how to be a good wanting BF in general. wen i say this, i mean, from the way i talk to how to kiss better, or from how to start interesting topics to talk about to whatever.

4, how to be more easy going, not awkward to my GF(if i go out with her)
Thanks ppl, i apreciate it and those of you that wont bother to anser my question and just want to say stupid, mean thing, just **** off.

Answer 1

Hey,

Ok So first off i'm sorry I haven't been on in awhile =( But i'm here now =)



So what i have to tell you is if your worried that dating will ruin your relationship then just don't date her! ya see I've had a huge crush on the same guy for over a year now and he's never had a girlfriend and i've never had a boyfriend. He is kinda shy and I am a firm believer that guys should make the first move but even though i like him sooo much I kinda don't want him to ask me out because we are BEST friends. I would rather have a really good friend that will last a lifetime han jump into dating and ruin our friendship forever. I would want the same for you and anyone else. For example one of my best friends dates a lot of different people and they end up hating each other after they break up. anyone who has dated a lot of people can not honestly say that they didn't create more enemys for themselves. I am perfectly content with waiting for the right guy to come for me because face it we are only sophomores and all we have left is time. I have no doubt in my mind that if you or anyone were meant to fall in love and get married that it will happen. If you have any questions or if you want to talk about something you can e-mail me. I hope this advice helped =)

Answer 2

1) dont make a big deal out of nothing, just relax and relax, how? Dont be too taken by this gf thing, but yes of course go out with girls in the same way you would go out with your other male friend. Remember the word itself say: friend, be friendly.

2) That i really dont know, can your parents help you to drive there?

3) Remember all of us human beings want to be loved and care for, so a good bf is someone who care and is helpfull, dont be shy to do that.

4) already said above, boy you have to take it easy, of course i m not going to tell you that you are stupid, cause you are not, but even if people tell you that, dont mind. What if someone tell you that you are stupid, than you become stupid. Of course not, just be yourself and be confident, you seem a talented boy. But stop abusing language ....it doesnt make you smarter at all.

Answer 3

Start relaxing, you are puting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

You say you can flirt ant talk with girls, then just keep doing this with them when you like them more.

You are still friends, just getting to be better friends that is all.

talk about what you have in common, talk and find out what this may be and go frm there.

keep it light and do not put pressure on your self just because of the words girl friend and boy friend.

they are just words that do not change who you are or how you interact with each other.

granted you spend more time together, and you get to know more about each ther, but that is all.

as far as kissing, take your time and go with the flow.

when the situation is right then it will just happen.

feel the emotion and intensity of the momment and use this to guide you in your kissing.

why can't you spend time at each others house?

spend time walking and talking.

the point is to spend time together no matter where it is.

Answer 4

alright lol

1st -dont write that much cuz everyone stops reading

jk :)



2nd- its normal to be nervous to talk to a girl when yall start going out. usually the girl can start a conversation just try your best to keep it going. walk her to class hug her from behind ect....



3rd- hanging out outside of school... if yall arent in the same group and you dont have a ride doo what i used to do go over to a friends house and go with them and she can bring 1 friend to its a little awkward for the friends but hey screw them eh? lol



4th- to talk to her more outside of school you can text her if you have text or a fone for that matter. try asking her bout her day or what kinda sports she likes whatever whatever



5th- im 16 soo when i was where u were i was like 14 my heart would race im very good at talking and all that idk why my heart would race and all you have to do is take a couple deep breaths dont look like ur hyper ventilating tho



P.S be really sweet and cool aound her friends soo they like you alot :)



hope this helps and GOOD LUCK HOMIE

Answer 5

Dear sister, Nadiah, Salaamun Alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. I could tell you: well say prayers, recite the Quran, fast, be good! blah blah blah! But does it work? I feel it would be most helpful if you find and deal with the main problem. As long as the main cause is there, you can't get rid of this situation. Think about the main cause of these events. Is is by accident? I don't think so. So if there is something, it should be within yourself. Think what is that within you that does not let you decide well. After you have pondered over it, roll down to see my guess. Did you find it? Think more! My bet is you hav to look within yourself: Dear sister, all the things that our siblings said are good but have touched the surface at best. You want to look dep into your own self. You want to ask yourself what you’re looking for. Ask, “What do I want in the life? What is my goal? Who is it I’m going to please? That guy? That girl? Myself? Or someone else who I’ve long forgotten, but has not forgotten me? After you’ve been thinking deeply about this, then decide for yourself: Am I going to receive the eternal pleasure of the One who loves me: Always, Intimately, Deeply, For my own benefit, And happily? Or the pleasure of the one who loves me: For a short time, Pretentiously, Superficially, For his own benefit, And unhappily???!!! Only after thinking about these deciding factors can you get benefit the Koran, thikr, prayers, life,.........and everything! Don’t get me wrong! I don’t tell you to let go of them and begin them just after this process! No! I just want to say that you need to prepare your soul for Allah’s message. The Holy Quran is a guidance for the pious ones (The beginning of Baqarah surah.) Then refer to the holy Quran, the following ayahs, and cogitate on them: 5:105 3:101 3:186 4:27 5:80 7:35 ... Especially the 59th surah in the Quran is a surah for thinking and pondering. Especially from verse 15 on. That will sure benefit you if you follow this process. Then all he things beside Allah will get unimportant to you. The glass water becomes stormy by an ice cube dropping into the glass; The ocien won’t even if an iceberg drops into it. Dear sister, try to find the position of Allah in your heart. I’m sure you haven’t taken Him serious. Start and you will see. Some tips: 1. The other answerers have good points in their answers, except for those foolish guys, Paki24 and GitDoun, and the girl who told you goes to an open school – I know she does not care about it so much, and simialr people. 2. Please take your time and print or write down the ponts told you by your friends here. 3. And then summarize and classify them. 4. And then put them into practice in a set of priority and appropriateness. 5. I’m not going to ask you to do all of them. 6. Rather, cross out those which are less relevant or on the top surfuce or the bottom priority or are least possible for you. 7. Avoid bad company, whether guys or ladies, whether online or outdoors, for it will undo all our, your and God’s attmpts! 8. Avoid looking at the guy and speaking to him, and I think the best way to tell him is to be brave and wear hijaab if you have not been doing so far. 9. Read Joseph chapter: Joseph did two things to get rid of Zuliykhaa: remembering Allah and asking for His help on the one hand, and ESCAPING the sinful situation on the other! 10. And Allah says ask help in SABR (=fasting) and salaah). These two reduce and control your passions. I’m sure you will soon be OK! You will soon feel the pleasure of being with Allah so much that you will laugh at this today, which will be a rediculous yesterday tomorrow! Feel free to e-mail me in case you feel it necessary. My e-mail is enabled. Your brother, A nearby STAR.