My boyfriends wants to move out b/c he wants to stop lying to his Mom, should I see this as a step backward?

Question

We have been together for 3 years, and he originally moved in b/c his apartment burned down, otherwise we probably wouldn't be living together right now. His Mom is completely against living together before marriage and he doesn't want to continue to lie to her, so he wants to move into a place with his sister who is in the same situation with her boyfriend. I am very confused about this whole situation, and was hoping for some fresh perspective. I love him very much, and he is completely committed to me, says he wants to get married someday soon, but doesn't want to go into it lying to his Mom. What should I think/do???

Answer 1

I would be thankful he's showing the fact he doesn't want to lie to the people that are important to him. It also shows that he's a family man at heart (Which if you translate it when YOU TWO have a family imagine how awesome that'll be!) If anything it's a step FORWARD because he's willing to show you that he wants to do it right and he wants to be honest with everyone. That takes lots of guts to come clean on and I would support him in this. Besides, he's already said he's committed to you so he's going to be back in soon!!

Answer 2

Have you ever heard that you can tell how a man will treat you by the way he treats his mother? Obviously, he respects his mother enough not to want to lie to her. It's making him feel guilty. And it does sound as if he is totally committed to you. You did not live with him before, so what's the difference if you don't live with him now? If he is totally committed, then moving out to save face with his family should not make a difference. And from a long term perspective. Let's say mom does find out you are living together. And let's say you two do end up getting married. I predict you will have a mother-in-law who is going to forever look at you as a less than respectible woman. Do you really want to live with that? If you love your boyfriend, then respect his opinion on this. Whether things do or don't work out between the two of you...he is the one who has to face his mother for the rest of his life.



FYI - Let me add a side note here after reading your comments. If you are old enough to live together, than you are old enough to get married.

Answer 3

You should be honest and tell his mother that you have been living together.Tell her that you understand her concerns on the matter but you are getting married soon.Both of you promise not to have sex until the wedding night,if she is a devoted christian this might be what she is concerned with.Set a date for the wedding so that she knows you are serious and not just trying to slip one past her.You should have been honest from the beginning.She might feel upset that you werent but she may be glad that you came forward and told her the truth now.Keep the no sex promise,it may be difficult but it will be worth it.Oh yeah.Have his siter do the same thing.Once you go through it it will be easier for her.

Answer 4

Honesty is one of the best things you can have in a relationship. If he's not honest with other people, what's to keep him from being honest with you? Look at it as a good thing that he doesn't want to move forward until these issues have been dealt with.

Answer 5

properly he's Calebs common help. in case you 2 pass to courtroom they may even see you as an undeserving mom in view which you haven't any longer have been given any motor vehicle, you have been abusing perscription pills with money that became meant to purchase you all foodstuff, and your common income is from him. She hasn't carried out something so you might get a restraining agaisn't her. He probable feels that he can no longer have faith you and that your intentions are no longer for the sturdy of your loved ones so he might quite be devoid of you in view that he could no longer have faith you to purchase groceries on various debts. you're basically attempting to harm him by making use of dealing together with her. He has a desirable to start relationship returned. consistent with possibility basically strengthen up and settle for which you messed issues up with him and study from the blunders you made so which you do no longer do it to a distinctive guy. Does he incredibly no longer deserve a gamble to be happy in view which you're jealous that he's shifting on? i'm no longer attempting to be propose or something, i'm basically staring at it the way a decide might look at. You do understand that in case you lose the courtroom conflict he could have you ever paying toddler help quite? As annoying as is probably, basically swallow your harm satisfaction and pass on. in case you weren't a sturdy person i doubt he might have given you spending money once you have been out of paintings or something like that. in case you care approximately him, enable him pass. you will detect yet another guy and initiate over with no longer something for him to hold over your head.

Answer 6

my simple answer would be this..

If he really loves you he wouldnt care if his Mom would caught him livin with you.He should be matured enough to stand on his own feet.And whats the problem of livin with you..we are now in a computer age sweety.. No need to be sooo conservative.



I think this is a turn off.

Answer 7

He is right not to want to lie to his mother. I would suggest you get married and he will never have to move out again.

Answer 8

If he has said he wants to get married someday soon why are you not engaged? I'm sorry but it sounds like he is not being honest with you his mother or himself.

Answer 9

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God Bless you ..





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Answer 10

i take it as a major step back cause if he really luved u he wouldnt care wat his mom thought