i broke his heart..cant live with myself..!!?

Question

I recently broke up a relationship of 1 year.I am 19 he is 20.We both fell in love. Unfortunately i couldnt handle the relationship & ended up breaking his heart & mine too. We were very emotionally attached.he is a loner. I was all he had. He used to spend every moment either with me or with his computer. Now he has nobody. No one to hear him. I feel so terrible. I did not lie about anything. I had felt so in love bt things wr jst nt feeling right. It ws feeling as if i ws forcing myself to b happy wth wht i hve. And i felt neither of us deserved ths.I gt into this cz i felt i love him & i felt tht ths is d kindf person i cud marry 1 day so i thought i shd do as much as i cn to mke ths work. Feels as if i was partly married to him.he asked me one day that he wanted to marry me smday and if i felt the same. I said him i dont know yet. Funny cz that was part of the reason i had gotten into this. Bt It started seeming like the idea of marriage so soon is not good. We still have our careers to build. And i wdnt hv been able to sustain a long distance thing(was going to go to US for his masters degree)By the end of it, it just started to feel like a burden. It was all my mistake. I took way more responsibility for his emotional well being. Now things r broken & i feel bad about it. I want to move on as I dont see this will work for the future. I dont want to be emotionally invested in this nymre.Bt i cant help but feel so like a bad person cz of this.

Answer 1

You did the right thing here. You didn't string him along which was the best thing to do. Hes not your responsibility but i can understand you feeling bad as you were such a big part of his life. I would say take a few months, get your head straight and help yourself to detach by focusing on your own things such as career. When you feel strong let him know you are around if things get tough. Let him be able to contact you if he really needs to but set boundries so he doesn't get the wrong idea or try and win you back. Share your advice on how you have been trying to move on and suggest he do similar things. You could help him see the positives about himself like him moving away soon. The main thing here is to control your own feelings. You dont want yourself back in that situation so you need to be strong yourself. His happiness is not your responsibility - its down to him to make himself happy with what he has got. You can only do so much without taking on the weight of his problems.

Answer 2

You could both end it all together. That would be a hugely romantic gesture.

Answer 3

if you love each one another please don't give up. it's not the end of the world. if it's really meant to be you can work things out. i'm sure he still loves you and will do anything it takes to make it work. please try