Is a bad idea to write a love letter to someone telling them I have fallen in love with him?

Question

For the past 6 months, I have being romantically involved with a close friend I have know for many years. I am in love with him but it hard for me to just come out and tell him. I thought about writing him a handwritten letter and giving it to him. Or perhaps, I could read him the letter. Is it junior highish to write a letter like this? I am almost 35. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Yeah, it is a little junior highish. After six months, you should have a pretty good grip on his feelings toward you. A letter is your way to avoid seeing (what may be) the rejecting look on his face- IF he doesn't feel the same way. But it won't change the outcome either way, will it? He will either say "me too", and everyone's happy... or he will express that he's not feeling it.

That would really hurt- for sure, but then you'll know that you need to find someone else. If a guy isn't in love after six months, it's never gonna happen... Then you need to stop wasting time with him and find a better match. It's all about trial and error.

Answer 2

Dear Ms.:



The direct answer to your question is no, it is not a bad idea to write the letter. You say that you have been romantically involved with a close friend that you have known for many years...what exactly does that mean? Have you been sleeping with this man and now you have caught feelings for him? He was your friend and you both decided to take your relationship to the next level? Is this really a relationship or is it just sex? You may feel love for him but does he show love to you?



Your age doesn't really matter unless you are trying to have kids, if you are I understand your frustration, if not better late than never.



How would you feel about him reading the letter infront of you? You will be able to gague his non-verbal response to it. You have to be prepared to lose him if he doesn't feel the same way as you or if he wants to take the "relationship" part of this very slowly. Are you willing to give him time?



Best of luck!

BE

Answer 3

I don't think it's a good idea. I think it's cool to write the letter but not read it or give it to him. I think what is a better idea is to tell him face to face how you feel. If you haven't already said the "L" word but you feel like it's something you want to say then you need to make it happen verbally...not with a "do you love me back" box with a check mark in it. Don't do it after sex either...do it at dinner or while going for a nice walk and holding hands. If all goes well then you could read the letter or let him read it and share a little laugh together...if all goes well he'll probably want to keep the letter for memory sake.

Answer 4

With the way I am, I would tell him strait up that I am falling for him. When I was in school, I was incredibly shy around guys I liked but I have grown out of it.Some people never get over being shy.But what I don't understand is if you are in love with the guy,and you are intimate, then why can't you tell him how you feel? You should be comfortable enough to express your feelings to him. But, if you can't say it to him, then yes, write a note telling him how you feel about him.Even better..write down how you feel about him and memorize it and tell him.But if you're like me, you won't remember (I have a terrible memory)..but I don't think this is "junior highish" at all. Its just a woman wanting to tell a man how she feels about him and a lot of people don't even have the courage to do that.Good Luck.

Answer 5

I am only 20 and I have been in a similar situation recently. To be honest with you, I think that you need to avoid writing a letter. You are a grown women and should be able to tell this guy that you like him/love him.



My friend and I have known each other for 2 years, and I decided to tell him that I liked him...but then it was too late. You don't want that to happen.



Long story short, just tell him that you are in love with him and see where things go. He will be willing to listen.

Answer 6

This certainly is a tough question.



SHY?



Women are taught to be discrete about their love, and often pine for their true love while they lose him. Women are taught to be shy, and never be forward. I don't think that women should be that way. Women must let people know how they feel so that can get what they want.



SCARING AWAY MEN?



Ordinarily, my advice is to be honest and open at all times, but I think that it is important to be a bit cautious about taking away man's role of initiating deeper relationships.



If he does not want to commit to marriage, or if he feels that he might accidentally hurt you by leading you on to a relation that is deeper than he intended, expressions of love might scare him away.



WRITTEN VS. VERBAL EXPRESSION OF LOVE:



Shy people can write instead of talk.



THE WORDS OF LOVE:



It seems to me that people fall in love without even realizing it (sometimes it is hard to pin down the exact moment that you fell in love with someone).



In general, women are more verbal about relationships, and men are more stimulated by visual stimuli.



Maybe actions describe your emotions better than words? You don't really need to be the first person to verbally express love.



Eventually, you will absolutely know that he loves you (or does not). At that point, telling him that you love him is advisable. Until then, there is no need to verbally express your feelings (though you can express your feelings in other ways (not necessarily sexual ways)).

Answer 7

Even in junior high we don't write letters. When you love someone you love someone and if you don't have the guts to say it in person than that magical brave feeling will just disappear. The thing to telling someone I Love You in person is more of a confident and meaningful jester show you care more.

Answer 8

Romantically involved? Hmm.. well, since you are doing what I think you are doing, it couldn't hurt to try. It is not juvenile to write a letter. It's very romantic and it allows you to voice your opinions clearer than if you were doing it by speaking. Gives you time to think.



Good luck!

Answer 9

just tell him how u feel i did that and i have been in my relastionship 4 almost a year and its going realy good k gurl just be yourself and see how it goes the worst is that youll get a no and you can still be friends and there the best but it is hard to be friends with someone that your in love with but a love letter could sabatajs your friendship k peace

Answer 10

You got it right honey. A better way to ease the agony and pains of your sole feelings. Very touching. Just hope your move get the right answers towards your feelings. Let love begets love. I admire your mutual strong feelings towards a friend. I'll pray for the better and your future happiness.

Answer 11

It's a bad idea. If you ask me, I get freaked out when people get into a speech or something about how they haves loved me since whenever. Just don't do it. Try getting in a one on one situation and start getting romantic/flirty

Answer 12

writing a letter would probably be a bad idea. since you're friends with the person, try to hint at it lightly, compliment them on their looks, but nothing too vulgar. when you get the chance to talk with him alone ask him what he thinks of you.this would be much more effective than a letter.

Answer 13

u cant express how u feel in a letter

u have to tell him yourself.

writing a love letter is for middle schoolers

u just have to come out and say it, and see his response. that is the only way to do it

Answer 14

So are you guys romantically involved, as in dinners, kisses, holding hands, etc.

If so I would say go for it. He probably feels the same.

If not I don't think it would be a good idea, he may not feel the same for you.

Answer 15

If you think you can express yourself better through written words, it might be better. But if you can bring yourself to speak to him in person, that's probably going to be a great memory if he receives it well, and you can also tailor what you say to how he responds. As hard as it might sound to hear this, if he doesn't respond well after you've known him so well, he's probably not worth it.

Answer 16

You need to tell him. Practice as many times as you can until you feel confidant enough to just say it. He will appreciate it so much more hearing the words coming from you and then he will probably return them!

Answer 17

i think you need to just come right out and tell this person how you feel maybe not like right out but over dinner or some thing you don't want to scare the person if you think they like you too then you shouldn't have any problems

Answer 18

not such a good idea

just tell him straight up

and if if he deoant feel the same way well

you cant do anyhting about it right?

go on in life

and if he does well yuo r lucky

Answer 19

HELL NO! Do it, tell him the truth and I bet you that everything will work out in the end. Do it girl, and best of luck

Answer 20

oh geez... if you cant tell him face to face and more comfy with a letter why dont you just do so. maybe ask him how he would feel to be with someone ... his plans if he wants to get married... if he is looking for a special someone.

Answer 21

Tell him personally, maybe over dinner. That's your best bet.

Answer 22

tell him

i doubt he wont like it unless he doesn want to get tied down

Answer 23

No, I don't think so. You might be surprised how good the situation will turn out. :) Good luck!

Answer 24

I would say to email him that if you are nervous to tell him in person. However, if you don't feel that your ready to tell him, then don't.

Answer 25

Oh gosh dont do that.

Tell him like you said you r almost 35!!!!!!!!

Answer 26

that sounds romantic. however, i'm in junior high, so you could say i'm biased.

Answer 27

horrible idea if you want to keep him as a friend.

Answer 28

yes can you say creepy?

and you are wayy too old for that

Answer 29

i think that is super sweet , but only if he feels the same :)))) may be even better if you read it to him yourself!!!!!!!

Answer 30

yeah. real lame

Answer 31

BAD IDEA

Answer 32

EGGS