I want my g.f to stop using drugs, Is she a slut?I love her.?

Question

My girlfriend of 6 months has been taking drugs since she was 16, mostly cocaine and ecstasy. We are both 24, and at university. She has only taken drugs whilst at festivals this summer. I don't like the fact that she had taken so many at an early age and that she still uses them.

I told her that I don't like the thought of her using these drugs and that it upsets me. I love her and want to be with her and eventually marry.

Now as she is at university she doesnt take drugs as she knows it will interfere with her studies, this is great. However she said to me regarding drugs "never say never" therefore she wont tell me that she wont use them again. She said I dont know if im going to use them again so im not going to promise. She said the chances are that she wont so i should stop going on about it to her.

She has a drinking problem also, when ever she goes out she gets so pissed she cant remember what happened. I could make up a story to her the next day and she would have now qualms in believing it.

The other night we were out and i saw her touching this guys chest and her hand on his waist. I didn't know the guy and i know she didn't as my mate introduced them, this was annoying to see as i know that is not normal when you first meet someone, especially in front of your B.F.

The point is i don't know if these drugs affect her to the level where she doesnt know what she is doing and does something regretful.

I don't want to get hurt and want to commit 100 % to this girl. She has had a rough past with drugs and had slept around until she met me. It makes me sick every time i think about it , but she is with me now and that's what counts.

I know she isnt taking them now behind my back as I am with her constantly. I feel that she wont take them until she finishes uni this year.

I dont think she has a big enough problem to enter rehab. My concern is more to do with he purity of the drug and what she may do when on them. I mean 3 people died in the mast month n my city as they thought the drug they were taking was coke, but it turned out to be white heroin.

I do not want to fight with her about it, I feel its a bit much to say to her, "promise me not to take drugs or ill leave you"

Lastnight me and her were getting intimate in bed, then when I went to have S*x with her, I came soft and couldn't penetrate, I'm not sure why, maybe all these thoughts in my head or was tired, anyway I was deeply embarrassed and got upset. This led onto a fight with her as i was talking about it, she mentioned to me that sex on pills (XTC) is amazing. I've never had sex with her on that stuff, it made me feel really small and sad inside.

When i said to her I didn't like that she said that, she said it was ages ago and that it is nice with me now. I cant get over her past, sexual partners guys as many as 18. Described in her diary as sexy hot and F*c**ng amazing. :(

I also mentioned that its the future im worried about, and dont want her to get hurt (it may not happen) but i said if the drugs come back and bite you I wont be there.

My head is spinning, does anyone have any thoughts ???

Kind Regards

C

Answer 1

whoa. i cant believe i read all that



you just need to talk things through with her and make her choose the drugs or you!

Answer 2

C,



do you really want to marry this person? because it sounds to me you have already made up your mind. if your going to be constantly paranoid and worried about someones safety because you care about them and they respond with "never say never" why are you wasting your time? she does not care about you in the same way you care about her. she would have dropped the casual drug use by now, and mid 20's is mature enough to know better. Not only that but taking drugs at such a young age can greatly increase the chances of birth defects. so if you do go long term, marry and have kids, your kids might also be the ones affected.



I think you need to stop getting walked on and put your foot down. its either you or the drugs. and if she picks the drugs well then you have your answer. you might be hurt and miserable for a while, but your better off in the long run.

Answer 3

wow. what a mess. i suggest visiting a counselor or talk with someone she trusts and will listen to him. it looks like she is too "open-minded". no offense pal. but i believe you've got to do something with her attitude. make her believe that it isn't right to get drunk all the time and lying and taking drugs and stuff. if you tell her this she will probably yell at you and start a fight. so is suggest to show her that you have a stronger personality than hers and yell her back and i don't know what else. it would be better to be alone in an apartment when you do this with nobody listening. and if she tries to leave then force her to stay. make her believe that she is yours and she must hear you. make her believe that you know better what is good for her than what she knows is good. it's a hard situation.

Answer 4

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you need to tell her that if she continues doing drugs you are going to have to break up with her. Tell her that it worries you sick knowing what could happen to her. Tell her that she has to make a choice. It is very difficult to get someone to stop doing drugs, if they are addicted to them. She may choose the drugs, but you will be much better off. If she gets caught and you are with her, you will be charged too!! If she dies when you are with her, they will accuse you of providing her with the drugs. If she can't stop on her own, suggest that she call the local health department and ask where she can get detox treatment for free in your community.

Answer 5

Your gf has an addictive personality. She will probably always be addicted to something. She will give up one addiction and replace it with another. that is how people with addictive personalities do it. That is why there are so many alcoholics, chocoholics, workaholics, cigarette smokers, porn addicts, gamer addicts, sex addicts, food addicts, etc...



People like that are born with a genetic predisposition to addiction (over doing things). The only way is to accept some harmless addiction, such as chocolate, or food in place of the other possible addictions. There is no way to completely rid yourself of all addictions, if you have an addiction predisposition. It is in the genes, which means that your children could possible have an addictive personality too, should you have children with her.

Answer 6

The two of you don't sound terribly compatible.