Fell out of love. Am I too old to fall in love again? I feel depressed?

Question

I am a male. I am now in my 30s and have been reflecting on my life. I have never married and I have no kids. I first fell in love when I was a teenager.

She was a girl at my high school. She was a grade ahead of me. We had a wonderful romance but eventually it started going bad. She headed to college while I was a senior in high school. Distance started growing. One day she made out with another guy at a party then told me about it while crying. I forgave her. She didn't sleep with anyone afterall, but I think it was a sign of where things were heading. She came back in town for my senior prom, but nevertheless distance grew over time and I broke up with her.

I fell in love again in college. Perhaps too hard. We started dating and I was willing to do anything for this girl. Unfortunately she got a little bored with my trying too hard to make her happy. We broke up. We got together again eventually but it was never the same. I think the whole time we were pretending, just remembering how things used to be while in reality we were less and less in love with each other. This lasted for years. Eventually she left me.

That was about 2 years ago. I have tried dating since. I have seen glimpses, but never fallen in love again. I wonder if its possible. I have obviously had failed relationships. Most women close to my age have failed relationships and that history seems to make it difficult to naturally open up to someone. The last girl I dated had a lot of bitterness. She unloaded it out on me which drove me away and made me not want a relationship with her.

I've met girls much younger than me who are interested, but I feel like we just don't have a lot in common. I've been feeling nostalgic lately. I miss being young and everything seeming new and magical. Most of the girls my age were full of hope and things just happened effortlessly. I was full of hope too and it was wonderful. We had everything in common and no bitterness. It makes me sad to think those days are behind me.

Do I need to grow up? How do I fall in love again? Would like to know if anyone has felt this way before and how they handled it.

Answer 1

It's never too late to do anything. My uncle got married at 36 years old and now has a kid. You shouldn't give up on life so easily nor should you try too hard to fall in love. Love isn't something you find. If anything, it finds you. Be patient. I'm sure there's that special person for you out there just waiting for you to find her.

Answer 2

If you aren't happy with the way that you are doing things, then fix them. If you want to seek a relationship and romantic love, then do it. If you want to do it but are incapable of doing it, then you should consider seeing a therapist/ counselor to help you develop the tools to take the steps that you want to take in like, not just romantically.



Also, you aren't too old; there are many people out there who get married at ages much older than you, so I would have no idea what would lead you to believe that you are 'too old'. Yes, at your age you may have a bit more difficulty finding a partner because a lot of people in and around your age group are already married or in long term serious relationships, and younger girls, well, they aren't just younger biologically; they are just not mature enough to handle something serious...but it is still highly possible that you could meet someone that you could develop romantic inclinations for, that's absolutely possible.



But if you are having trouble in your approach to women, or in forgetting about your negative experiences in the past, then I would say that you should seek the help of a professional, just because at your age, you are well past the point of having an excuse for being this way. You are too mature for this, and you should realize that if you want to change, then you have to take the steps to make those changes happen yourself, and not just wait for your feelings on the topic to just blow over.

Answer 3

I don't think MANY of us EVER TRULY stop lovin' our first loves, me old son- (I know I still love MINE with ALL me bloody heart!) However, the way I'd stop meself from EVER gettin' back with her again, if we were still in touch now, (as well as by remindin' meself that I'm currently in a lovely relationship with, [and LIVIN' with] a beautiful girl, whom, for the record, I'm MADLY in love with), is to remind meself that she hurt me bad ONCE, so she could just as easily do it again! **** that! I don't think I could take hurt like that again, 'cos it nigh-on bloody well killed me the first bleedin' time round! If I EVER had to go through bloody pain like that again, I think it'd just about see me off! And nah, ya DON'T need to grow up, 'cos it's BLOODY hard! However, I shall pass on some words of wisdom, that a bloody good mate of MINE gave ME, (when I was still mopin' about over me first love all them years ago): "She wouldn't want ya to give up on love and romance, and the chance to be happy again, on HER account, and she CERTAINLY wouldn't want ya to throw yer life away, for nothin' but sweet and precious MEMORIES, ('cos that's all they are now, at the end of the day, my son- MEMORIES, and SOD-ALL ELSE, and, I'm afraid, yer just gonna have to deal with that!) Time to let go, old son!" Come what may, I wish you all the luck in the world, good buddy, and please remember what I said, (and believe me, I know EXACTLY where yer comin' from, my son, 'cos I've been there me-bloody-self!) Peace and love! Be lucky! :)

Answer 4

Stop being depressed, go out and enjoy life, when a cutie see you are enjoying life, they would want to be a part of it and bam, love found you.



And make sure you pray to God everyday, so he could bring you your soul mate.

Answer 5

Find someone who will understand you..... It is never too late to fall in to love.... you are just so young :)

Answer 6

its never too late to mdate . 30 is still young . good luck and take care