dont want to cheat or break hearts but very tempted?

Question

ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. i need someone who has experience in this to tell me whats wrong with me, i feel like i know but im just making sure i know im right.
so yesterday i was online chating with my best friends older brother, and i was always attracted to him since i was 13, im 21 now. but we hocked up when i was 15 and it didnt go well for it was a one right thing, we just kissed. but yesterday we talked agian and its just so exciting talking to him and flirting. it was just online and i was super turned on cause we were both into the convo, it wasnt about sex or anything like that. it was just their were urges for both of us just get a place and go crazy. and then he gave me his number and i called.!!! i shouldnt of done that. we flirted for 4 hours on the internet and 3 hours on the phone. and he wants to meet up and stuff and im denying it cause i have a boyfriend and he knows i have a boyfriend, but my boyfriend is 400 miles away from me.and i feel im getting super nervous just thinking about my best friends brother and stuff i would do to him, but at the same time i feel so guilty that i have thoughts about another guy besides my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend to death, and dont say i dont cause i do, its just this feeling its an urge and an excitment you get. help me. i dont know what to do or think anymore. and im visitin my best friend tomarrow so im gonna see her brother(her brothers a player,jerk type) but im falling for that stupid game hes playing on me, i know he just wants to **** but im still teaseing him, i tell him no but secreatly i know i want it to. and he knows i want it too. but i just never admite it help
15 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
i been with my boyfriend for 4 years, he broke up with me and went out with another girl and i did the same thing a year after, but we worked things out and now we are back. i do love my boyfriend because i cant cheat on him, but im tempted to, but i know wat i want and i want my boyfriend and now this guy, i know i want to have fun with this guy but hes nutting compared for wat i have for my boyfriend. its just this guys new and i feel like a ***** for saying it but its like a drug, i feen for it. but i know afteri get it , i wont feel it for this guy anymore and i cant face my boyfriend. i cant lie to him, i even told him that i went out with someone else after we got back when we broke up before. and it broke his heart but i cant live the guilt.
i definally dont want to leavemy boyfriend. but im just having temptation problems

Answer 1

If you are on a diet you don't go sit in a cafe where you will be surrounded by temptation.It's easy fixed you know he is after one thing you know he isn't arsed about your boyfriend.You know he's grooming you to use you.You know all of that will affect and hurt you no matter how much you want to give in.So remove the temptation,block him from the net block him in your phone and don't go to your friends tomorrow I'm sure your head planned that, visiting the friend to take the brother thing to the next step, don't give in.Suggest you meet somewhere instead that way you don't get the brother being there as well.

He's being the player he always is so is being true to form nothing more decent is expected of him,it is of you though,if you give in you will be no better than him and will hurt your boyfriend and so yourself.Why do that for someone who wants to use you we wrongly get flattered by people like him,he isn't after you he's after what he thinks you will give him and that's not flattering that's insulting hun block him!

Answer 2

If you're willing to throw everything away for a quick sh*g then you absolutely can not be saying that you know "for a fact" that your fiance is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You can't even last a few months!! How are you going to get through the next 50 years of your life if this is supposed to be the honeymoon phase? If you are so desperate for sex then I personally think you have no respect for him, but speaking objectively, if you can't last and need to sow your wild oats or whatever, then think seriously to yourself about whether now is the right time to be settling down. You should probably have a break from him and tell him you can't cope with this relationship as it is, break up until he is back, then you have a chance to get it all out of your system and you can be faithful when he is there with you. But cheating on him and still expecting to marry him is ridiculous - how would you feel if he did this to you? Also, cheating with a guy you WORK WITH?! How stupid is that?! You have to see him every day, so while it might seem fun and daring now, how do you think it will feel if he goes all bunny boiler on you an you can't escape him? And have you thought about just how easy it will be for your partner to find out? Don't cheat, but if you're going to then be smart about it and don't go for the guy in the office!!

Answer 3

You are a human and you crave attention. Congratulations! You're normal. Every single day we go through temptations. Undercharged at the store, an unlocked safe, a yellow light that we shouldn't run, etc. What divides the good people from the bad are the decisions we make in those moments. We make conscious and unconscious decisions on a daily basis to uphold the moral codes we believe in and strive to adhere to. Everyone is tempted. Not everyone takes the high road.



The momentary gratification you would receive from this meeting in no way compares to a long, healthy and happy relationship with your boyfriend. DON'T DO IT. If you value yourself and your relationship, if you respect yourself and your boyfriend, don't do it. Be strong. This isn't the only man you will be attracted to in life. You have to make the decision now to remain faithful or to destroy his trust forever. You'll come to this decision again and again so make up your mind now.

Answer 4

well, we will use modern ethics. What choice will cause the greatest good or harm? This is a personal situation, so the choice will be yours alone.



My obvious choice as a man with a woman that I love, is NO! Quit that and wtf are you thinking? If you love someone, you don't cheat and you don't flirt with the idea. Love is much greater than sex. You don't want to possibly ruin this love with your infidelity.



Now, back to ethics. Your man is away, You love him but lacking in physical love. You can get with this horny little guy and have your fun. The guy you **** will be happy and so will you. The greater good has been served.



Would you feel ashamed? If your man never found about your tryst, you will still know about it. Will that make you feel bad? At this point, you have to weigh the possible long term bad feelings in the future against your short sexual satisfaction. Which is the greater good? Will you not care to lie to him?



There is also the chance he will find out somehow. Are you prepared to deal with that? This will likely not serve your greater good if you really love your man.

Answer 5

It's normal, you & your bf have settled and gotten comfy and now you have to think of new things to get you excited. This guy is non threatening because you already know he doesn't want to steal you away. So you can safely flirt and never touch him and everything will be fine.



You wont hurt someone you love. So don't cheat and don't tell him you've been thinking about this other guy like that either. It doesn't matter if nothing happens and it would only hurt him to know you were getting excited about someone else.



Good Luck!

Answer 6

listen honey im greek im correct with everything. first off great story but no one will love you like your boyfriend. dont get carried off in just sexual things you can do with another man. Us greeks have the most sex a year with many people, trust me they are all the same. you dont want to hurt your lover. love doesnt come by often and dont **** that **** up. trust me i did the same thing as you to my beloved girlfriend and damn is it the biggest mistake i ever did. stop talking to that jerkoff completely trust me hes nothing compared to someone you love and once you make that mistake with him things will never ever ever ever be the same. fight temptations if you always give in to the wrong things then you are just playing a fool on your life. life isnt easy but ******* up something that you have that is real will make you regret it forever.





TO ADD: when i say stop talking to this jerkoff all together i mean all together he calls you answer and say you dont feel like conversing. he talks to you online you tell him you are busy on powerpoints and word documents and what not. tell this malaka to get away. other than this Xristos Anesti

Answer 7

If you love someone you don't cheat on them. At least respect them enough to break up with them first. And don't just break up with them to mess around because that will always be on your conscience.

Answer 8

if you are at a stage were you are willing to cheat then you should not be in that relationship

Answer 9

regression or infatuation ?



it's one of those two