My boyfriend of the last 3 years lives with his step dad and half brother, and his step dad John is horrible to me. I’m quite a strong woman with a back bone that doesn’t usually take rubbish, but when it’s your boyfriend Father you don’t have much choice. I used to spend a lot of time at their house, so I would do things to help out, such as cleaning, unloading the dishwasher, things like that, but then John started to expect these things of me. I would happily look after the animals for them when they went away and whilst they were away I’d clean the house for them from top to bottom and they wouldn’t even bring me back so much as a box of chocolates, not even give me fuel money. I’d help to clean the house when he needed it, feed the dog for him whilst he was watching tv or cooking, pick his son up from friends houses or school, take him to the train station if he needed a lift, run errands for him, etc. His attitude towards me started to get worse and worse, leaving my boyfriend notes about telling him to leave me, coming up to me and telling me that it’s my job to clean his house, saying I’m not domesticated. One day he rang me asking me to pick up some dog food for him and I told him I couldn’t, he kept asking and asked me to ‘walk the dog when I go to drop it off’ I asked where his son was (who was 15 at the time)and he said he was at home! On this occasion I told him I felt he was sometimes rude and out of order with the things he asked me to do, especially when his son can do it. He seemed ok with me, understanding and said he was sorry. A few months later and still putting up with his wicked ways he did something that just tipped me over the edge and I went mad at him, literally screamed at him and slammed a door in his face. I know I was wrong but I had just had enough of literally being bullied by my boyfriend’s father.
Ever since things have just got worse, making me pay for everyone’s drinks when we go out, ordering me outside to clean his bbq whilst he and his sons stays inside, taking his son to school for him and him just going ‘oh right...’, no thank you or anything. A few weeks ago at the pub his son said ‘I have a pub quiz question for you all...’ and John butts in and goes ‘me first, my question is... Why is Lisa such a failure?!’ in front of everyone!
I have confronted my boyfriend about this and he says ‘he won’t fall out with his family for me’. I love my boyfriend to pieces and we’re really happy. But why does he let his step father talk to me like this? Why does he just sit there and say nothing? I know family comes first but surely he should stand up for me when his Dad calls me a failure?
I don’t know what to do anymore and it makes things really difficult when I’m avoiding his dad and refusing to go round to his house when his father is there. What do I do?
P.S. Sorry for the essay