i need ur help.. is it okay for my boyfriend to do this?

Question

my boyfriend has been talking to this girl online... i read the messages this morning. she sent him some pics and he was telling her she was pretty and sexy and a lot of flattering things. he also was asking her what she likes to wear and and ask her for her cell phone. Should i be angry about this? Should we break up over this? We have been together 1 year and 7 months..we also live together. I feel really sad and i don't know how i should react. I already told him i dont want to be with him anymore.. but should i stick to this and let him go? i love him and i dont want to be blinded by love anymore. please give me some good advice.

Answer 1

It sounds like you are not completely happy, and he is obviously not completely happy. people stray when they are missing something in the relationship. but in this case maybe you have both grown apart a bit, and are feeling less close to each other. if that wasnt the case, ur guy wouldnt be looking elsewhere, and flirting. it happens in relationships, that maybe have used up its purpose, alot of relationships are just learning experiences, and while you may be sad that they end, in time or with a new person in your life, you will see that " hey im glad i was with him, that helped me grow as a person" and you will be happier cause you will know more of what u want, and not be settling because you have loved someone for awhile. too many people stay together out of love for each other, when they are not in love.

so i suggest letting each other go separate ways, it may hurt at first, but you will see that its for the best eventually.

especially when true love/happiness comes along.

Answer 2

You should have a long conversation with him. Sometime when there is no fighting already going on (don't bring it up just to support another argument - that won't deal with the problem), sit him down and talk about what you've seen and read. Apologize for reading his personal things (because they are), but you should also say that if he is writing this sorts of things to another girl, perhaps there isn't enough trust left in this relationship for things to move forward on either your part or his - you read his conversation, so he can't trust you, and he's flirting with another girl online and presumably conspiring to meet her, so you can't trust him. Ask him if this is what he wants, to be with her instead of you.



Be willing to walk out if he is uncertain. If he apologizes and says he's sorry, he was bored, it was a mistake, the relationship is getting boring, etc. then you say to him that he should come to you when he has such problems rather than seeking help from random girls online.



You can resolve this, but it depends on why he's doing it. If he seems uncertain about whether or not he wants to end things, then you should walk out. He'll realize very quickly (as in a few days) if he wants you back in his life and will try to apologize. If he doesn't, then you know you made the right choice by leaving.

Answer 3

Your man is attracted to an idea. If he actually could hear this person, see them, and spend time with them, chances are he wouldn't be nearly as attracted (and neither would she).



If he can admit that it's a fantasy, but one that hurts your relationship and is willing to change, you might be able to save what you have.



I think you need more help than you can get here. If you really think you and this guy have a shot, go get professional help. Someone who has a good track record in dealing with Internet relationships and escapism.



If he won't go with you, you're pretty much done. A guy will normally avoid help because he thinks it's a sign of weakness and that he can handle it himself. While it's possible he can, it's very, very rare and very hard to do. Ask yourself, does he have the will to change his own personality just like that? Chances are the answer is no.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Did you tell him what you thought about the girl & why you were upset? Let him know that you really love him but what he's done is inappropriate & that it really hurts your feelings & breaks the trust between the two of you. Make him explain what he was doing exactly, was he just being friendly or was he trying to hook up with someone else on the side? If it sounds fishy, you should probably dump him. You don't want a cheater! You want someone who only wants you! If he sounds like he was just being himself & chatting the way he would normally chat to any girl, make him know that if he can't change that because it makes you uncomfortable, then your trust in him won't ever be complete & the two of you will have problems in the future. If he really loves you & just wants to be with you, he'll do his best to please you in this situation.

Answer 6

its a hard situation to be in..because on one side you love this guy and you two live together but then again you feel like he in some way disrspected you..if it was me I would tell him exacly how I feel about it and see what he says and if he's sorry and says it will never happen again and that he was just playing around then give him a chance,but also keep your eyes open..most guys are clueless and really dont know when they've crossed a line or not...so unless he's really really done something wrong that you've seen with your own eyes..like cheat on you or if he's seeing this girl on the side then I dont think you should leave him....after all its just emails...neither one of them really knows eachother or if its even a girl he's emailing...but in the end its your choice so di what YOUR heart tells you to do..

best of luck..

Answer 7

If you really love him and you don't want to leave him, you have to set a boundary. You have to let him know you don't like it and that you want him to stop chatting online. Be prepared for a fight. Don't get scared. He will hate you, but if he loves you enough, he'll stay with you. If he doesn't, he'll leave and you can move on to find someone who will give you his heart.



What he's doing is called emotional cheating. It may not be physical, but in this day and age where online dating is so popular, it becomes cheating of the heart, just as bad as physical cheating, if not worse.

Answer 8

These statements should be directed at you, not someone else. If a person truly loves the other they will not go out of their way to make the other person unhappy. He can not say this is unintentional, because it is. When people begin to roam from the one they love it is time to get going. Yes stick and let him go. You will find someone else that is better suited and will love you and not someone else too. Love covers a multitude of sins, but remember when you have children your options are limited. You will be OK. Cry your tears now instead of waiting to cry a lifetime of tears, because the one you love is doing harmful and hurtful things to you. This does not get better it gets worse.

Answer 9

if you love him, you shoud ask him where he thinks your relationship is headed. Dont be hurt if he gives you an honest answer. This is the first sign that he is not happy in his relationship with you. He might be ready to move on, but too scared to tell you. He might be doing what most guys do and simply want a little spice and variety in his sex llife.



Telling a girl that she's attractive/ sexy is not a crime, but when he asked for her number tha's crossing the line - that's on the way to becoming way MORE than just internet friends...



Be careful with this one..

Answer 10

This guy is taking advantage of you! He is disrespecting you. I think it is very good you can acknowledge your feelings (e.g. sad, and that you love him), yet don't let this be a reason to let him walk all over you. If he really loves you then why is he treating you like this? As sad as it is, it may be time to move on from this relationship. There are, believe it or not, faithful men out there who will not treat you the way he is treating you. You deserve better.

Answer 11

Stop taking abuse. On-line dating is still cheating. On-line hook-ups is still a form of cheating. Why is he ashing a chick for there cell number? No need for him to be emailing anyone, and he is dumb to be asking for numbers from someone over the Internet, it could end up a SHE-MAN~ Really. He needs to be careful and if you have to run behind him and see who he is emailing and texting and all that stuff then its no fun to be with him~ TRUST goes a long way

Answer 12

Sounds like you need a break. He is clearly exploring alternative relationships. And you are clearly confused. Did he start this conversation with the girl online before or after you told him you didn't want to be with him anymore? If he started it before, then I would take that as a definite sign that he's interested in a commitment with you. If he started it after you told him, then it sounds like he's just reacting.

Answer 13

Sounds as if your b/f is trying to hook up with someone else. I would have a serious talk with him and ask him what he wants. Don't be angry when you talk to him, ask him to be completely honest with you and himself. Maybe he was just bored. If you don't like the answers you get, maybe it's time to move on. Don't ever stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Just remember life isn't always fun and games, there will be ups and downs.

Answer 14

look ma it sounds like he wants to cheat if he wants her cell phone #. what your a$$ needs to do is find a guy on the internet that looks flyer than him and flirt hard tell him that you wants his number and how sexy he is and cuter than your bf.

your man will be so heated and jealous he'll forget about the other chick and stick to his,... dont show him ur sad. it shows his power over you. show him you dont give a **** cuz there are plenty of grown and sexy men in this world.

and you shouldnt let ur man get down like that on the internet..

Answer 15

that is just the stuff you found out about! Trust me there is alot more ! I do not know if you are doing your part in the relationship - i will give you the benfit of the doubt and assume you are - this guy is not doing his part! It is a no brainer. Remove yourself.



sweetheart, if you stay with this kind of attrocious disloyalty - it is because YOU are committed to suffering and pain and do not care for yourself and you might not even be aware how little you care about you.



If you do not RUN and today. Expect pain and suffering and lots of it!

Answer 16

It seems as if he feels that he's not getting all of the satisfaction that he wants from ya'll relationship so he has to go somewhere else to get it. Pretend that you are him and send her messages saying what she would do to him if she was there and then when he comes hme that night do the same things she said he would do, and then he will realize he has everything he needs and more right there with him.

Answer 17

Unless you are willing to have less than a mutually exclusive relationship, I'd say leave him. Apparently, he left you already. If he was satisfied, and loyal to you, he wouldn't be engaged in these kinds of inappropriate activities with another woman on-line. I suppose if you found an on-line lover, friend, etc., and began the same kind of dialog, he'd be okay with that!? Let him go.......Kick him out.....find someone who is good to you.

Answer 18

i can inform you that it might want to were incorrect. you may want to experience undesirable for liking a someone even as courting. the guy you want might want to were a worse man or woman to you than you're boyfriend. besides you gave away what possibly turned right into a sturdy courting. in case you experience like you want someone and function a bf make confident you do not nonetheless have feeling for you bf and are keen to take about a month inbetween bfs.

Answer 19

Dear Sadness,



It is so shame if he treats you like this, if you were doing the same to him I think it is fair, if not just tell him that I respect you because you are the only one that I have, why don't you bring something that you want me to wear for you.

Ask him how do you want me to keep you for me only, if he just became so angry you have to know that he takes a benefit of being with you.

So sorry

Answer 20

No don't run yet, he may just want to flirt around with his internet friend, if u tell leav him because of that he will not worry to call u back all he will say is dat u are to jelouse thatz all, or du u want an internet Ship girl to snatch away ur husbay, i think u shul fight for urself.

Answer 21

i think you should sit down with him and tell him how hurt you are and that you feel like he's not being faithful enough and that if he's not ready to change then it wont work out... and like let him know how much you love him and how much more significant it is than what those hoes over the internet feel for him ... maybe if you start dressing a bit like the girls he might be more attracted but why would you wanna be with someone who judges you by your looks :/

Answer 22

I think that just by asking this question you already know the answer. He is ready to move on and he is going to keep you around until he finds someone else. Let him go with dignity and he will realize later what he lost. Good luck.

Answer 23

The question is why are you staying with a man who is cheating. Just be thankful you found out now and not 10 years down the road.

Answer 24

Girl Run like Hell!! That online chatting shows intent, and that he really does not care about ur feelings if its visible for u to see plz don't stay with this guy, thinking when he goes out is he meeting her or someone else where is he what is he doing and with whom? Get Out!!!

Answer 25

One thing for sure you do not want to be stuck with a Disease right think this over this is your life you have and he have his own life if he doing this it doesn't sound like the love you have is real to him but you just there when he need a sex partner be careful

Answer 26

Be mad. He is obviously trying to hook up with this girl and there is a good chance he's done it before. If he trolling around online for girls than he just not that into you. You deserve someone who cares about YOU and says those things to YOU.

Answer 27

Yes you should dump him because he is cheating on you. Even though it's on the Internet it is still cheating and one day he is going to take to far and actually physically cheat on you. so find you another place to stay and give him his walking papers. I can't stand men who treat women disrespectfully and the women who takes it are even worst. Don't be a statistic girl...get rid of him. He can't have his cake and eat it to. He can't be with you and trying to talk to other girls.

Answer 28

Sounds to me that he has lost interest in your relationship. Sorry to say, but I think it is time to move on. It will be hard at first but in the end you will find someone who is saying the flattering things to you and not to another woman.

Answer 29

Don't Pay for the Internet lol cut him off!

no, just ask him flat out if he wants u or her i caught my bf on a website asking for busty blonds to email him i cut the wire to the modem :D and it ent OK for him to do it its wrong don't stick around so he can hurt u more just get out there n find sum one who wont lie to u xx xx

Answer 30

What a pathetic loser he is!!! I don't understand what the attraction to someone over the internet is when you have a flesh and blood love at home! Let her have his skanky @ss and move it along sister - there are better out there for you, no sense holding on to nasty luggage that is holding you down - i.e. HIM!

Answer 31

Get out of it. And plus its never a good idea to live together before marriage. But anyway its not okay for him to do this, if hes done this now, he'll prob do this later, and he may have even done it before.

Answer 32

get the heck out right now!!! Hun, is it just me or do you sense some cheating behavior here? If you aren't good enough for him to focus on you and only you then you deserve better. now get there and find a better man!

Answer 33

let him go sweetie if he can't be w/ u and only u don do it im telling u it is not worth it go get u a real good man and if u can't find 1 it's b/c God has other plans 4 u

Answer 34

move forward on either your part or his - you read his conversation, so he can't trust you, and he's flirting with another girl online and presumably conspiring to meet her, so you can't trust him. Ask him if this is what he wants, to be with her instead of you.



Be willing to walk out if he is uncertain. If he apologizes and says he's sorry, he was bored, it was a mistake, the relationship is getting boring, etc. then you say to him that he should come to you when he has such problems rather than seeking help from random girls online.

Answer 35

First and foremost we don't live with a boyfriend, we live with a husband. What am trying to say is why live with some one who has not married u?

Answer 36

I can't believe you have to ask that on here, that is obvious. HE WANTS THAT OTHER GIRL. I am a guy and I know for sure that if you weren't there and she was he would screw her every which way he could.

Answer 37

Ditch him. He is looking for love or lust elsewhere. He may be setting her up to have cam sex. Whatever the deal, take off and find a REAL man who loves you and sees you as his number ONE gal. You deserve it.

Answer 38

There's no reason to discuss it with him. You've seen the evidence. He's a cheater. What could he possibly say to change that? Dump him.

Answer 39

who knows how long he's been doing this? it's up to you weather you can live with it and move on forgetting it and leaving it in the past or weather you can't accept this and want it to end all the best :-)

Answer 40

That is completely wrong and you don't deserve that. He should respect you more than to treat you like that. I would say leave him because you can get way better than that scum

Answer 41

If he is doing this in front of you, under your roof..... just imaging what he is doing outside the home. Confront him. Tell him it is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If he says its harmless, or that it is nothing.... then he shouldn't mind letting "nothing" go. if wants to continue..... kick his butt to the curb!!

Answer 42

well first sorry to hear about this now does he say this stuff to you if not now tis is your choice should u break up or just get mad if he says this stuff to you tell him about what you saw and how much has he been on the ccomputer

Answer 43

Dump him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A cheater is always a cheater. You CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE LIKE THAT! You can find a better man and somebody that isn't going to stoop down to the internet to find love. I bet he is ugly anyway!

Answer 44

Move out, move on and find a new room mate. You deserve better then this bad piece of work!

Answer 45

yes, stick to your decision of not being with him. and move on. he dont care about you.

when you told him did he cry or thro a fit and say no, or that he didnt mean to.

time to move on with your life without him

and have him move in his own place.

Answer 46

He is already looking for another gf, don't be played the fool anymore...break it off ASAP.

Answer 47

I would confront him immediately and tell him how you feel, and don't hold back. If it continues, dump his *** and move on, life is to short. His actions prove that he is disrepectful of you're feelings.

Answer 48

work it out with him its not like if was gonna meet her. maybe he was getting some ideas to use on u. get online too and do the same

Answer 49

He is not giving you the respect you deserve. Drop him now. Love is not going to change him.

Answer 50

your boyfriend is a jerk is only that he cant even hide this from you. The internet, fine! but the cell phone- forget it

Answer 51

Don't Brake up with him just yet it could b a bit of harmless fun!

Answer 52

I think you're better off without him. Once a cheater, always a cheater

Answer 53

well look i have gone throgh this and you know wat i did i talk to my boyfriend and i told him that was going on?that if he liked that grl or if he just wanted to play around with her wat was the deal?u know the thing u have to do is talk to him clearly and straight up and u be honest and tell him to be honest to cuz if he aint honest to you when yall r trying to work things out yall never going to work nothing out so i think u should talk to him and tell him wats in ur mind u know.well wen that happend to me and my boyfriend we broke up cuz he told me that he just dnt feel the same way but imagine if i wud have never told him nothing wat would have happend he would be lying to me and keeping it away 4rm me so thats wat i suggest i wish u the best luck and hopefully everthing turns out good and the way u plan it giirl

Answer 54

ask him what does he really feel about you...if he loves you..tell him what you feel about him flirting with that girl...maybe he would understand and stop doing it..but if he don't loves you..leave him..and move on..

Answer 55

being binded by love is such a toughie. think abuot what you want from a relationship and work with that.

Answer 56

Give him the option, keep the internet girl or you. He can't have both.

Answer 57

Yes, you are blinded by love.

Answer 58

Look here ask him and if he give youa bullshit answer leave himhigh and dry

Answer 59

Tell me what your wearing and i'll give you the answer!

Answer 60

no thats not ok even if it is on line u need to confront him and set him straight

Answer 61

i say its time to dump him, because he is cheating on you. hes not touch that girl but he should be saying that stuff to you and not to her.

Answer 62

let it go BC he cheated on you and i don;t think if he really love you

Answer 63

kick him out and get on with your life. do you want to live in fear of this happening again?!

Answer 64

Confront him and ask him if he still loves you.

Answer 65

Oh COME ON. He wants another girl, not you. Leave him alone.

Answer 66

What the other person said

Answer 67

dump him. I'll talk to about it more if you MSG me

Answer 68

Drop that a*shole....he is a really rude jerk.

Answer 69

i would leave, its very obvious that hes tired of you

Answer 70

there's something called:BREAK UP.!!!!!!!!!! leave him he's cheating on u. it don't take a rocket scienctist to figure that out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 71

dump him

Answer 72

get counseling

Answer 73

To the curb with him!!! He's a prick!!!

Answer 74

leave him

Answer 75

ask him flat out..

Answer 76

Leave his sorry a$$!!!!!

Answer 77

get ride of him!!!

Answer 78

RUN!