I am having trouble dealing with my girlfriend's past?

Question

well let me try and set the situation as i have it...we're both 16
my girlfriend
- loves me, claims i am the sweetest, most amazing bf she has ever been with and never wants to break up
- has smoked and drank for a few weeks, gave it up but did it to be popular
- has had more than 20 guys that moved really fast with her
- none have had sex with her
- she has made out with guys just because someone dared her
- made out with a girl bc someone dared her..
- given a bj/head to a guy she thought she loved...
- has done a mysterious thing that she says "you must never know"
all of the things she did with other guys happened within the last school year and the first five months of this year..

she says she loves me,shes tired of the jerks and her friends say they've never seen her so happy....but.....i am having so much trouble dealing with what shes done....i have not gone far with any girl before, making out with her is it...after hearing how easy she is to get with, how she can be DARED to make out with a guy, makes me wonder how she all of a sudden she changed to just wanting to stay with one guy, me....why am i getting so caught up? should i be feeling this angry and jealous if it was all in her past?

Answer 1

I would be like everyone else and say "Let the past be the past,"

or

"Don't judge her for what she did then."

But I doubt any of those people would take their own advice.

They'd be skeptical, like you.

It's okay to say leave the past in the past,

but if the past could turn into the future that's not okay.

From what you described, she sounds very easy and very dumb (when it comes to these kinds of things) and what's worse is that she doesnt even realize (or care) how stupid she's being.

I'm not going to say she won't change.

And for the sake of not wanting to sound pessimistic, I won't say that although people CAN change, most fail to do so.

I'll just think it.

:]

But why would you even want to be with someone who will smoke and drink just to be considered popular?

It kind of makes you wonder what else she would do.

And how far she will go.

Yes, I do believe that people shouldn't just be judged on their past,

BUT given her history I would just say expect anything and everything with her.

One more thing!

If she loves you and cares about you and all that jazz like the says she does, why is she afraid to tell you what she's done in the past?

If she's truly changed and TRULY wants to be "together forever"

She would be able to trust you with this "mysterious" secret and let go of the past so she can move into the future with you.



Hope this helps.

Sorry that was so long!

:]

Answer 2

i realize it might be a little difficult for you to just get over everything, but if you really like her and believe her when she tells you how much she has changed and how much she loves you, then let it go. life is too short to dwell on past mistakes. just let it go and get on with your relationship and be happy.

Answer 3

yeah i had a tough time letting go of my girls past...but u know what man, it might take weeks, months, or even upto a year and there is no way u can fully forget it...but if she says she loves u so much i say just look at the good in ur relationship and im sure u will get over it :)



good luck bro!

Answer 4

past is past let it all go