My boyfriend says I make him sad?

Question

He lost his father two weeks ago and he 'acted' very normal the first week - he avoided talking about it AT ALL and was very matter of fact...and I've been really understanding about whatever he wants. Made him a blanket, got him an inspirational book, picture frame with a picture of his father...etc. Second week was thanksgiving so he spent most of it with his family and that's when things changed. He told me that he hasn't felt anything between us and that he doesn't feel anything in general. I told him its OK to feel this way but he insists that whenever he's around me he feels "empty" and "hollow" and it makes him sad. I'm not a depressing person and I'm very goofy and all that, his friends enjoy being around me and I make friends with everyone I meet. I really dont understand but all I tried saying is that it's okay because his heart is somewhere else right now and we can get through this, and he got frustrated said "No, I need to get through this, not you" and he hasn't wanted to see me..but he also doesn't know if he wants to end things. WTF? Wouldn't u want someone there to support u? I told him I DONT expect anything from him, like keeping me happy, because of what he's going through and that I'll be there for whatever he needs even if he wants to just yell at me. But he just simply says he can't feel anything below the surface anymore.. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?! Should I just end things for everyones sake...?

Answer 1

:( Awwww, sounds like hes just really hurting. People react differently and weep in there own way. Hes just taking it out on whoever and yes he does need you but sooner or later he will realize this. I don't think you should end it because he probably doesn't want it to end, he just doesn't know how to feel right now. Maybe you should give him some time to think and he will realize soon that he needs you.

Answer 2

If you truly love him, you will give him some time to mourn. It is too early to make any decisions about the relationship, considering what he has been through. Losing a parent is almost as bad as losing your own child. It is the second greatest loss in the world. it takes a lot longer than two weeks to heal. Just call occasionally, to check on him, and see if he needs anything. Tell him that he can call you anytime, even if he just wants to talk. Do not talk too much. Just listen to him. Nothing you can say will make him feel any better, regardless of what you might think. He is not rejecting you. He is rejecting love, because he is hurting from the love he has for his father. He will come to terms with it in time.



Below is a site with the stages of grief. This will help you to understand what he is experiencing.



http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-THE-3.html



God bless you and give you patience at this time.

Answer 3

mmm some people are like that. They like to ignore talking or dealing with things because maybe they just don't know how to. He needs to grieve his father's death...I mean that is major, but maybe he just doesn't want it to get to him and think that that will help him overcome the situation. Then you go and give him "an inspirational book, picture frame with a picture of his father...etc. " Put yourself in his shoes for a min. and really put things in perspective: He's trying to totally ignore the fact that his father died and you, with your good intentions, only function as a reminder that it happened. I think that is what is affecting your relationship and why he says you make him sad.

I suggest you guys take time off and let him have some thinking and time of his own. Some people want the support but others are best left alone until they get through such a process.

Hope that helps; Best of luck:)

Answer 4

naww you sound like a good girlfriend i don't think you should end it just yet give it some time he lost his father and his showing it in strange ways give it like a mounth if he's still the same then he's not worth it