What should I do about this friend?

Question

I'm in a relationship with this guy, will be 2 yrs next month and I love him with all my heart. He's my 1st love, but we've been having some problems the past few months due to me not being happy with him. To me he just doesn't treat me like how a guy is to treat his girlfriend. And I feel like the relationship is based mostly on sex these days. Sometimes we won't even see each other for 2 weeks, but it's cause we're both busy with school and him with work and we live in the same town. I go home every week or 2 weeks ,as I moved to another town for school. He tells me it's b/c we haven't been spending much time with each other like before. I just feel like he isn't showing me any love when we go out, around people. Like he's shy or something and he's definitely not. Sometimes I feel as he's embarrassed by me and there's no reason for that. I'm one of the good girls. Stay at home and only go out when I need to (to the store, pay bills for my parents, things like that). I've told him I'm not happy, haven't been and even sent him some email to give him some ideas on how to treat a girl but seems as if he didn't pay them any mind. I've broken up with him twice already, the 1st time, he cried and that's when I realized he really does love me but he's just not showing it. he says he wants to marry me, that's why he's working hard to finish school so we will have a great life together. Now those type of promises don't faze me, but I believe him. he has good intentions. I don't demand anything from him, don't ask him to buy me anything. All I ask of him is that he watch a movie with me, take a walk on the beach, just have a good time, without getting busy. I'm still waiting on that to happen. The last time I broke up with him, it hurt him again and he asked me if it's somebody else I met and I told him no but after we made up he promised to be a better boyfriend, I hope so. I'm holding on so we can work out things.
Now the problem is I got this friend who I've known for 3 years and now, last month, he's telling me he's in love with me, and want me to give him a chance and that he will make me happy, even though he's not perfect. He told me he knows I haven't been happy with my relationship, even though I didn't tell him that. I asked him how he knows that and he told me it's my spirit or something like that. When you are around someone for so long you know how they feel without them telling you how they feel. I have no feeling whatsoever toward him, because he's my friend and that's it. But I've been thinking and thinking, weighing the options. Now my friend, is the nicest person ever, very mannerly. If I bump my knee on a table, he will say sorry as if though he was the one who did it. A real gentleman. But I just can't see me and him together- I'm kinda creeped out at the thought of it. And because he told me he loves me, I've put up a real thick wall and he can't break it and he says I made him miserable the past month cause I don't want to give him a chance. And he's very honest with me. Tells me everything he's done, even if I didn't know. he says he can't hide anything from me. And now he says he can't go through that misery again and he probably won't want to see me again because of that. He's got a new girl and he's still trying to get me but I'm not budging b/c I'm working on my relationship and I don't want to jeopardize that. He says he'll move on and when he closes his heart from me, it won't be open again. (is that a threat? hmm) Do you think it's right for him to end our friendship just caz I don't want to give him a chance and want to be with my boyfriend? I call giving him a chance cheating, even though sex won't be involved and I despise cheating. I guess he'll miss out on a good friend. It's not my fault he fell in love with me and I'm in love with someone else. I don't want to break my bf's heart and I've already broken my friend's heart. In his words - "I murdered him, through the heart". I find it a usual thing when male friends like me and I just turn them down and that's it we're still friends. No awkwardness. You come on to me,I out up the wall and I tell you stop or just go away from you. But it's like this one loves me to the bone and like just seeing me will make him feel hurt that I turn him down. Maybe that's why he wants to cut all connections from me. I'm sticking with my bf till the end.

So who should I choose? Do you think I should consider my friend?

Answer 1

Stay with the one that trusts you and shows everyone how proud they are to have you and who makes you smile the most. Communication is everything and trust is right there with it. If there is no trust, you never had anything to start with.

Answer 2

I got bored of reading this after the first paragraph, but why stay with your boyfriend if he's not making you happy? Did he ever treat you the way you expect to be treated, or is this a new thing. Has he ever been into public displays of affection, or is this also a new thing? If he's always been like this, then this is just who he is and you'll have to accept it or move on.

Answer 3

Please...use paragraphs! But for the sake of staying on topic, do what you feel is right.

Answer 4

You were being used by him for sex only.Now be cautious for new relationship,it should be tested on firm ground.